Something Awful Comes This Way!

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what’s holidays, precious?
gollum, gollum
an excuse to give us presents?
we wants them, yes
gollum, gollum
especially if they’re fishes
we loves the fishes, raw and crunchy
or even careless orcses
or hobbitses—so crunchable
gollum, gollum

don’t pokes us, nasty hobbitses
with your little stinger
gollum, gollum
we’ll takes our fingers from your throat
and gets our birthday present
(it came to us, my precious
and then they never sees us)
gollum, gollum
before we show you the way out
upon this holiday