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I Can't Take This Anymore! sung to the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear?" Said the drunk man to his winsome wife I can't believe what I see You look like a cow, winsome wife I can't believe what I see A chunky chick Such an ugly sight With an ass that could block the moon's light With an ass that could block the moon's light Said the winsome wife to her new attorney I can't take this anymore Abuse through drunken lips, dear attorney I can't take this anymore Shameful remarks Everywhere we go With a voice like one giant schmo With a voice like one giant schmo Said the new attorney to the divorce judge She deserves half of everything He don't need a palace, divorce judge She deserves half of everything A wife, a wife Wounded like a gnome Let her have his double-wide mobile home Let her have his double-wide mobile home Said the judge to jackasses everywhere I'm only gonna say this once Be nicer to your wives, everywhere I'm only gonna say this once The cop, the cop Waiting down the street Doesn't want to see you mistreat Or he will be happy to beat you in discreet O Flatulence sung to the tune of "O Christmas Tree" O Flatulence! O Flatulence! Thy smells are so distrusting; O Flatulence! O Flatulence! Thy vibrations so disgusting; Not only when I eat something queer, But also when I just drink beer. O Flatulence! O Flatulence! My butt's forever busting! O Flatulence! O Flatulence! Such displeasure in my panties; O Flatulence! O Flatulence! You've ruined so many parties; How long will I endure Flatulence I've been plagued since my twenties, O Flatulence! O Flatulence! I only wish to hear silence!
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