Fountain of Knowledge

I can't say there was ever a popular group in my high school. People just paired off into groups of friends with similar interests. And as far as I know, it was only the very bottom of the totem pole - the people who were trying too hard to be cool - that talked about everyone else. Or you were a drug addict. People could move pretty freely between the groups too. The girl who was voted prom queen my junior year was incredibly nice. She paid for the tuxedo, ticket, and limousine of a boy who was mentally challenged and poor. I guess she was kind of a queen bee, but I can't think of one bad thing to say about her. Same thing with anyone in her circle. Maybe they were a little shallow and privileged in my eyes at that time but eh.

This might be a bit cliché but my sister had a friend in high school who was very popular. Loved by everyone. Literally the cliché of the handsome principal's son who was good at everything - played saxophone, was on the soccer team, good grades etc. And gorgeous. He was four years younger than me and I could have had a crush on him. He killed himself during the first semester of college and my sister is pretty sure he was struggling with his sexual identity. (hindsight is always twenty twenty but she told me about some of the offhand comments he'd made to her after I came out in high school) So again, maybe a bit cliché but it's hard to live up to perfection when you think you might be gay. People still say "What a shame."

I think just trying to figure yourself out - who you are - in high school is a challenge. It's something most of us still struggle with as a adults but that's when it's all just beginning. That's enough of a problem - discovering there will never be a good/right answer.

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