Bubble Trouble

oh boy.
a discussion! (rubs hands with glee, warms up the coffee and re-adjusts background music)

The first picture I see is that of the two camps....separated by a battlefield as yet unstained or untrampled.
Glad flags waving, dinner pots bubbling, regalia and weapons brushed and polished.

On this side, we have the barefoot kitchen brigade, who fervently believe that we all went to hell in a
handbasket when women were allowed into the workforce. The job market for prideful males quietly
slipped into the twilight zone, and the kids raised Cain without constant parental vigilance (usually
the mother's role.)

Way over on the other side, we have the Radical Feministas - known to crush all opposition to their
career paths, and take no prisoners.

Yow. Pretty scary.
Let's take a brief wander through the middle of that pristine battlefield, as yet peaceful and serene, with
not a trace of that shadow of forboding, as impending doom gathers. (keeping a watchful eye for slings and arrows)

On the one hand - of course, there was a time when a working man with a modest job could meet the financial
obligations of a middling class existence. He could pay the bills, take care of wife and kids, meet most normal
expenses, and perhaps dream of a little upward mobility...
Meanwhile life was pretty good - all needs were met, and often this sort of home knew a fair measure of contentment.
It appears that most men were indeed happy with the arrangement. Fewer women, it seems - were. Why?
Ah - the important question.
It could be that the reason men were happy was because this arrangement allowed them a fair measure of control.
They controlled the finances - and thereby the hard cold facts of life governing material comfort and survival.
I believe this to be not untrue....
This may explain some of the discontment in women at that time. However, I think it had a lot more to do with factors
other than merely money.
Any woman with real brains and ambition who wanted to test those wings - had a hard time bringing about this state of affairs.
If one examines closely the expression of American domestic culture through this era (1945-1970) it's almost impossible
not to pick up on the aged and archaic "tilt" of the power structure. In other words, men had all the power.

One final note: I grew up at the tail end of this time, and I don't know how many times, as a youngster, I heard some bright girl
express a fervent wish that she'd instead been born a boy. Hmmm. Kids don't lie about stuff like that.

Now, on the other hand - it's obvious that few people, except for those rather well off, can even entertain the luxury of attempting a
stay-at-home lifestyle. The overpowering norm in our fair society now, is the two-income family. One can argue 'til they're blue in
the shoes.....that readjustments to this and that and the other - can be made, and therefor some way of scraping by on one income
can be had -
Well, that reality just doesn't exist for most rational people - no matter how much you argue that a family can lose the second car,
move closer to work and lose the first one - sell the 2500 square foot house and buy the cheaper 1200 square footer, cease and desist
in all "extravagant" spending - send McDonalds, Walmart, Chuckie Cheeses and Disney World straight to the poorhouse, go live on the
land and become food-independent.....
etc.
Reality begs to differ for most folks - no matter how wonderful the aforementioned may tickle your fancy, Nancy.
So there it is.
Or so it seems.

However, (clears throat, drags in a deep breath, readjusts the music lower, straightens the tie)

What appears to have actually happened in the last three decades - are a number of things.
Career-aspiring women now wait until that last dying breath of fertility to have that - first- child. Why?
That's easy - it took that long to do all the work necessary to get established, set up, and organized for the event.
And I'd say more power to 'em.....except for this:
Career: check. House: check. Lexus: check. Cottage: check: Kid's education trust fund: check. Retirement nest egg: check.
ma'am.......you've got it all. Except for one little thing. One little thing that no amount of money or education or career advancement
will ever provide.

Time.

A little while ago I saw a strange thing. A woman was out and about with a baby......her baby.
To which little adorable darling, some well-meaning caring person referred to as:
- her grand-daughter. (a first and - probably - last born)

ouch.

Funny. When I was an impressionable young grade school lad, my mom was an enchanting young fun-loving
energetic healthy Queen - to me. Pushing thirty. (almost 20 years younger than the aforementioned mother)
You can rebuke that sentiment endlessly - that it just does not matter. Doesn't it? I wonder......

To summarize this verbosity.....
Arguments both ways often stand up without falling over.
But perhaps along the way we've lost something....perspective, priorities, living arrangements that children could
truly thrive within, something a little kinder and gentler....
Perhaps the extremes on either side were never a good arrangement.
Maybe somewhere in the middle ground is the place to be.

There.
I'm done.
I'll go back to the kitchen and get out of the writing room, now.













Captain Midnight
Just let me laugh when it's funny
and when it's sad, let me cry