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Rated: E · Message Forum · Activity · #1181487
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Apr 26, 2007 at 2:23pm
#1497892
Re: Need a review
Interesting juxtaposition--the old American west, with Faerie. I do think this section will catch a reader's interest.

Seriously, I would rename the characters. Dylan and Tyler are contemporary names now. I'd suggest picking something that's more like what would have been around then--Biblical names. Jesse, Thomas, Jude, Moses, Joshua, etc. Those names are of course in use today, but there's no danger they will become dated because so many people at that time were given Bible names.

Careful also of style in dialogue. You don't want it to sound contemporary, but you also want to avoid it being self-conscious ("where them little birdies sing"). Your goal is for the reader not to notice the style. Decide on your characters' level of grammatical correctness, and let their personalities develop. Good luck with this, and thanks for posting.

RJ
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Need a review · 01-21-07 7:04pm
by very thankful Author IconMail Icon
*Star* Re: Need a review · 04-26-07 2:23pm
by Raven Jordan Author IconMail Icon

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