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Rated: E · Message Forum · Opinion · #1108422
Poetry and Short Prose professionally and constructively reviewed by experienced writers
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Feb 6, 2007 at 6:39pm
#1449109
Please Review!
by A Non-Existent User
Hi there,

The below is a poem I'm hoping to submit for a school contest by the end of the week. I realize how short notice this is, but I do wonder if it is possible for some feedback by Thursday evening at the latest. I completely understand if this request is somewhat impractical, that's fine, no problem. *Smile*

I think the one thing that bothers me about this poem, is the flow, especially in the last stanza. It seems a little ropey. Though it's in free verse with no set rhyme or meter, I feel it sounds a little too crude for my liking. What do you think? Any suggestions as to tidying this up somewhat?

Thanks. *Smile*

 The Full Moon Open in new Window. (13+)
Dancing around a bonfire celebrating the full moon. (Free Verse)
#1134879 by WyrdNaos Trippin' on Yello Author IconMail Icon


zaman
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Please Review! · 02-06-07 6:39pm
by A Non-Existent User

The following section applies to this forum item as a whole, not this individual post.
Any feedback sent through it will go to the forum's owner, MuseinMeltdown.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/forums/message_id/1449109