The below is a poem I'm hoping to submit for a school contest by the end of the week. I realize how short notice this is, but I do wonder if it is possible for some feedback by Thursday evening at the latest. I completely understand if this request is somewhat impractical, that's fine, no problem.
I think the one thing that bothers me about this poem, is the flow, especially in the last stanza. It seems a little ropey. Though it's in free verse with no set rhyme or meter, I feel it sounds a little too crude for my liking. What do you think? Any suggestions as to tidying this up somewhat?
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