Red Opium.

It's good that you've been able to talk about it with friends, quite a few of us tend to be too afraid to do that.

I'm really sorry to hear that. At least you had time to spend with your Grandfather. Both of mine passed before I was born...

Writing can be a great alternative to harming.

If you would - next time you feel you need to harm yourself, don't, try and write instead. Maybe about what you're feeling, what's going through your head... do you think you could do that?