Red Opium.

Congrats for not cutting in so long! But it seems you aren't happy for that? Things sound tough right now for you.

Why do you harm yourself? Is it for relief? or to feel? another reason?

Maybe, for example if it's for some sort of relief, you're feeling this way because you aren't harming yourself.

This does not mean go harm yourself to feel better! It's just that maybe you need to find a new way to get everything out, a way to feel better instead of cutting. You can't exactly just stop cutting/harming by simply ignoring it, quite a few people do it as a way to cope, for relief, so if you stop doing it, you need a new way, or you just feel horrible and everything seems overwhelming.

-I'm glad it's summer for that reason
This is a good season for us to find other coping methods.

Kelly