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Rated: 13+ · Message Forum · Activity · #974961
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Jun 4, 2006 at 10:51am
#1298187
Feedback: The Truth Behind These Chinky Eyes
My review for "The Truth Behind These Chinky Eyes" Open in new Window. E: My vacation to Xiamen China .

I rated it 3 stars.

*Balloon1*CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your item has been selected by the super-reviewer, spiral kinetochore Author Icon!*Balloon1*


*Note1* "including her" >
...while mom’s biological parents had...

*Paragraph* New paragraph >
- My origins are like every other Chinese-Filipino’s origins...
- In the Summer of 1998, I visited my roots,...
- And so on...!

*Exclaim* Period instead of comma after "trips" >
...for the sake of shopping and business trips

*Note1* "hands" >
I shook their hand and kissed the...

*Note1* "lay" appeared twice >
As I went out of our room fully dressed...

*Note1* Capitalize "great" and "wall" >
...he even painted the great wall.

*Star* At first, I found some expressions disapproving, but the latter part made up for your naughty piece. Good job! Although, I would like to suggest a milder version -- some people might find it offensive.

Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing!

This is spiral kinetochore Author Icon, now spiralling out of your port. *Smile*

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Feedback: The Truth Behind These Chinky Eyes · 06-04-06 10:51am
by spiral kinetochore Author IconMail Icon

The following section applies to this forum item as a whole, not this individual post.
Any feedback sent through it will go to the forum's owner, spiral kinetochore.
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