Red Opium.

No one ever thinks that it bothers me anymore. That these thoughts don't plague me as strong as they ever did. I am so tired of this life. I just want to hurt myself again, and I can't anymore. I can't do any of it anymore. I'm tired of trying to fight this. I feel like crap. I want to cut again. I want to hurt myself again. But I know I have to wait. I have to wait to move out, wait until they can't stop me, until they don't care anymore. But, god, I'm so tired of this. God, I wish I could do something, but I know I can't. And, for now, that's enough to stop me. But I don't want to fight this anymore. I have to do something, but I can't, I can't, I can't. I have to make them think everything's okay. I have to hold it together. But I don't know how.