Writer's Fallout Shelter

i have posted little messages here and there suggesting i need some help but now emabarrassed as I am to ask ( i'm ususally the together one) I am asking out loud. I need some help. I can no longer write. I am scared to sit in front of the computer. Everything I have written or attempt to write seems pathetic or lifeless now. For three years my life ( as often as I could all day everyday) was writing and I have produced a 90 000 word mss and a 45 000 partial mss and I would have been happy to live in a cardboard box as long as I had something to write on. But suddenly its gone and has been for a few months now. I have no access to writing groups or like minded friends. Sorry to be such a baby but I really need to hear from some that know what I am feeling. I am happily married have five kids (four are teenagers and am university educated so I am not struggling with the little hiccups in life that younger people may in their writing. (oh to be young again Again I apologise if this sounds too gloomy but I am desperate. Is this terminal condition.