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Some changes were already made in this article... So some comments/suggestions might confuse you a bit. ******************************************************* "Invalid Item" : Review To: Kai Adamson Reviewed Anonymously?: No! Review Time: 07-03-05 @ 9:44am Review's Rating: 4.0 Review Length: 1,585 Characters Review Follows: CONGRATULATIONS!!! Your request for an item review has been granted by the super-reviewer, Spiral Kinetochore! Hi! This is you friend K'neto, your friend and ever-supportive reviewer, with a very honest and in-depth feedback for your piece. It's a very good concept for a haiku, especially if it includes an oriental touch, something which tackles the asian culture. The first thing I noticed was your description. Please edit the necessary points like "town" and "recent." If you want to have a great impression for your item, then you should start first with the description. This only has 4 syllables > Aerial dances This only has 6 syllables > Warm breeze twirls and scatters - And this confused me > By bristling bonsai branches But this is my favorite part > Rustling emerald spears Bamboo thickets weave lattice From sun and shadow In a nutshell, it is a very nice haiku with just the right elements of a good poem. Keep on writing, and I'll keep on reviewing! This has been K'neto, now spiralling down on your port. ******************************************************* It's a good one!!! R3 it yourself!!! Visit my domain, and unleash the meerkat in you. http://lourland.blogspot.com ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** a proud member of ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** i dare you to try ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |