Scattered thoughts?

Do i even matter ..... Is this really a metaphysical plain of tangeble things or a neuroconnection in my brain creating this allthe while we are really just bacterum and nothing is here nothing is real what if there is no real or fake what is everything is a thing whether you see it or not a distored veiw in a funhouse mirror is real a photo is real just past tence real arent all deaths past present future all real even if those events alter future timeline makeing a infinite number of possibilities .... am i really alive ?