I'm Sorry

I’m 16. Live with my mom. My mother divorced my father when I was little. My mother worked hard for me. I thought she was kind of… Rude. She didn’t think about what I would think about anything. We moved away from my old house. I was kind of happy in a way. I was bullied there. I promised her that I wouldn’t join any school clubs at this school. “Hey mom? Where did you put my soccer ball and shoes?” I came into the kitchen, confused. “I threw them away. Since your not joining any clubs this year, I didn’t think you would need them.” “Are You Serious!?” “What’s wrong sweetie?” “I don’t need to be in a club to play soccer! Idiot!” I ran to my room, pissed off. The next day, I went to my new school. I made new friends. After a little while I wondered why they liked me. One night I went out with my friends and got a text, “Come home! I need to go to the hospital” She tricked me like this before, so I could help her clean. All I said was “No”. That night I went home and the police cars and an ambulance. I ran up to one of the officers. “Where is my mom!?” “Huh? Are you the daughter?” He asked. “Yes! Where is my mom!?” “I’m sorry kid.. She… Commited suicide.” My heart dropped. Tears fell from my eyes and I fell to the ground. After a few days, we had a quick funeral with only friends and family. I didn’t tell any of my friends. I didn’t go out with them any more. I knew my moms death was my fault. I came straight home everyday. “Caroline, you should come with us tonight.” “My mom wants me home tonight again.” Every time I came home, I would sit and do nothing. One day, I decided to go through my moms stuff. When I opened her closet her phone was right there. I picked it up and opened it. I saw our texts. So she did read it. Why didn’t she write back? She should’ve chewed me out. I went to her drafts. “Caroline, I’m sorry.” It read. She did reply! “Have you made new friends already? There are many things I have to apologize to you for. When you were little, I knew you loved your father, but I divorced him anyways, and for that I’m sorry. But he was a violent man, and I couldn’t stand to see him hurt you. That’s why I divorced him. I noticed you were getting bullied by other kids in your soccer club. I thought changing schools would solve the problem, so I moved us here. I was afraid you’d get hurt again, so I didn’t want you to join any clubs. I’m sorry for being so selfish. I never considered your feelings. I was always hurting you. From now on, I want you to have fun, Caroline. I want you to do what you want to do. I’m sorry for getting in the way.” I started crying. “M… Mom..” I cried quietly and alone. From now on, I will have fun, I won’t get mad. Thank you mom, for being there for me.