An ordinary fairytale?

Narrator: This is the story of the man, Ivan is his name. He is a middle-aged carpenter who lives in a small wood cottage in the woods; the Dapo Confiar to be specific. Now this Forest is one of the most dangerous of its time anywhere. If one were to foolishly wander into the depths of the woods without a candle, torch, an iron beak mask and a jar of caterpillars, it was fact that one would never show one's face again in the kingdom of Dies. Just to put the geography into perspective, the Kingdom of Dies is an ugly blob of landmass that when looking from a substantial height looks like a deformed pear with several pimples representing deserts and scattered in the most on the outskirts of the kingdom.

At this point if you are still reading this story, you must be thinking, this is pretty much a cliche fairy tale story; It starts with a somehow bleak beginning and ends with happily ever after. Well, then you are in for one hell of a rollercoster of a ride. This story follows the day of a pleasant Gardener Ivan who lives in his Oak Cabin with his teenage son Brian. At this very moment, I see them harvesting rare bark from the mega tree, an emerald green (SpinachE) sprouting only in the Glompy Goop region. (the swamps area) Let's listen to them talk for a little, "Hey son, how are you doing" Ivan said, "we need to reap 20 pounds of SpinchE by the end of the day". "Okay, you know this is getting real old now". "You promised to take me to the Die Circus if I finished the weeks quota" Brain said, "Nah, I'm sure I said you could go next week" Ivan remarks, "You have your entire life ahead of you". "Well if you keep me cooped up in this dreary forest, Ill be older than you" (Fucking old shit he whispers under his breath).

Narrator: (So lets just give you a little background here, the Kingdom is set in a fictional timeline that I like calling SlowHistoricalInternetTimeline or (SHIT) MUhahah .. (echo) ....MUhahah :)p

(This setting in this timeline would be in the 1400s if we were to compare to our modern timeline. The timeline comes very important