My Dearest Mother

My dearest mother,
Please don't be sad
I am in a happier place now
One I've never had

I was weak, and you are not
I was a monster from the start
Your beautiful love you tried so hard to share
Didn't understand how you could care

My dearest mother,
I'm afraid this will be my last goodbye
Too coward to see you
For fear that you also would die

I was not the same boy you knew
Life had tossed me aside
And in my hiding
I had lost all love, hope, and pride

My dearest mother,
I did not love the needle more than you
Nor the pills, nor the pain
You were my only light
Though over the years had gone away

As I write you this letter
My destiny becomes more clear
I cannot live this life of loathing
The one person you loved so dear

My dearest mother,
Please remember me as your son
And not the addict
Whose run in life is done

For I will see you from down under
As you tell tales of who I was
In time understanding the memory
Of your only son.