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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/969382-----Repeat-Offender----
Item Icon
Rated: GC · Book · Personal · #969382
Breaking the laws of blogging, one entry at a time.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Wanted:

For repeated blog faux pas, including, but not limited to:

Obsessive ranting - guilty on 92 counts.
Repeatedly beating a dead horse - guilty on 17 counts.
Unnecessary use of curse words - guilty on 142 counts.
Boring daily recounts - guilty on 45 counts.
Pointless entries - guilty on 214 counts.
Contradictory statements - guilty on 72 counts.
Recounting toilet actions - guilty on 15 counts.
Overdramatization of insignificant things - guilty on 152 counts.
Overreacting to meaningless gestures - guilty on 22 counts.
Unnecessary temper tantrums - guilty on 75 counts.
Cruelty towards animals, superiors, peers, and inferiors - guilty on 146 counts.
Repeated bad grammar, spelling, and opinionations - guilty on 214 counts.



Suspect is considered armed and dangerous.
Do not confront directly, instead call the authorities
and slowly back away. Do not provoke suspect, as
she is easy to agitate. The best action to take is to
smile and nod. Any other response could lead
suspect to rant and rave for days without ceasing.


REWARD OFFERED FOR CAPTURE
Dead or alive.


Offending evidence:
Merit Badge in Journaling
[Click For More Info]

Given for penning the favorite response entry in the Follow the Leader contest with "Come Again?"
(Exhibit A)

Merit Badge in Variety
[Click For More Info]

Because I never knew what to expect from your Follow the Leader entries, but I'm oh so glad you played!
(Exhibit B)

Merit Badge in Journaling
[Click For More Info]

I enjoy reading your blog. You always have something to say, and it tends to be interesting, too *^*Bigsmile*^*. Thanks for providing us all with food for thought! *hugz* Kit
(Exhibit C)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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April 5, 2007 at 1:03pm
April 5, 2007 at 1:03pm
#499742
And so it is the day of my sentencing. I've been tried and arrested in the Writing.Com Court of Law for the crimes of blogging I have unapologetically committed in the time that I have used this book item as my blog.

Now, with sentencing, comes a new phase in my life, and a new blog. Of course, that means that this book item will no longer be a blog. Instead, it has been seized by the Courts and used as evidence against me. Part of that seizure means that I will no longer be able to receive comments here. Instead, you must visit me in my new home, where I have been proven guilty in the Court of Writing.Com.

Please pay me a visit. Hopefully, my life as a prisoner won't be too boring.

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


Obviously, I owe some GPs and a few merit badges to those who helped contribute to the theme, title, and brief description of this new phase in my life. All in due time, my pretties, all in due time.
April 3, 2007 at 7:05pm
April 3, 2007 at 7:05pm
#499377
From my friend Kara, on myspace (she was a fellow floutist in band):

1. Who were you with last night?
Ethan and Jason

2. What woke you up this morning?
Ethan being awake at 7 am!!!

3. Where are you?
on my couch

5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
Jason and Ethan.

6. When was the last time you cried?
This afternoon.

-The PAST-

7. Ever thrown up in public?
Yeah, if the bathrooms at work count.

8. Passed out because of alcohol?
Not passed out.

9. what's on your mind right now?
I wish my heartburn would GO AWAY!
(On a side note with the heartburn, I swear to GOD that I am going to cuff the next person who tells me that heartburn during pregnancy means the baby is going to have a lot of hair. I've had heartburn since I was 6 weeks pregnant. The baby didn't even have ARMS yet, let alone hair.)

10. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
My son and my husband.

11. Where would you like to live?
Memphis, Tennessee.

12. What kind of home would you like?
One with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
I'm still trying to figure that out.

14. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Hopefully someplace similar to this, only 5 years older, though still looking 26.

- ON MYSPACE -

16. Have you kissed your number one?
Uhm... yeah... once.

17. who was the last person that left you a comment?
Millisa

18. Have you kissed number 10?
Uhm... that's terryjroo, so no.

19. How about number 6?
We used to date in middle school. That's what middle schoolers do.

- IN GENERAL -

20. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
I ran into the garbage can with the van on Friday as I was backing out of the driveway.

21. Do you listen to music everyday?
Yes, if Ethan's Kids Bop CDs count.

22. What was the last thing you ate?
Cheese pizza

24. Are you a fast typist?
yup

25. About how many people have you liked?
alot

26. what are you doing this weekend?
Going to Michigan City on Saturday, Easter Egg hunt and dinner on Sunday.

27. What’s your favorite type of SODA?
Rootbeer.

28. Whats your LEAST favorite SODA?
Mountain Dew

29. Have you ever won an award?
yes

30. What is your favorite sound?
Ethan's belly laugh.

31. Are you listening to music right now?
Nope.

30. Do you like or have a crush on anyone right now
Yes, don't tell my husband, but I like him.

33. What’s a quote that you love?
"Ya, you betcha."

34. How long 'til your birthday?
2 days.

35. When were you the saddest in your whole life?
After my miscarriage.

36. What time is it?
7:02 p.m.

37. what time do you want it to be?
8:30 p.m.

38. What makes you mad?
When I tell Jason I don't feel good and he has no sympathy. Or when I'm tired at 10 p.m. and he tries to get me to have sex and whines about having blue balls.

39. Have you ever had a song written about you?
Nope.

40. What song makes you cry?
Space Oddity by David Bowie

41. What song makes you happy?
Hey Baby by Gwen Stefani

42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
The sound of my space heater. I like the white noise.

43. Do you have a job?
Data collections assistant.

44. if you were a crayon what color would you be?
Purple

46. What makes you happy?
The sound of Ethan belly laughing.

47. What’s the next CD you're gonna get?
Chris Daughtry's

[Height:]
5'5''

[Hair:]
brown

[Eye Color:]
hazel

[Wearing right now?]
maternity jeans and a maternity tank top

[What taste is in your mouth?]
the aftertaste of pizza and root beer

A word to describe 2007?
excitement

Favorite music in 2006?
Gwen Stefani

Summer 2006?
Hung out like a bum.

Honestly, do you miss 2006?
No, not really.
April 3, 2007 at 9:52am
April 3, 2007 at 9:52am
#499291
My new blog is created and will be open for business on Thursday, April 5, 2007. In case you didn't know, that is the day of my official sentencing along with the day I will be 27 years old for a period of 365 days.

What better time to celebrate a change than on the celebration of another year of life passed?

By the way, I'm not telling what I chose for the name, the brief description, or the format. You will just have to wait and see. Yes, I know, I'm such a tease. Ya, you betcha! *Bigsmile*

In the meantime, I might make a bunch of meme entries just to fill this blog up. The poor kid in me just can't bring myself to waste 15 or 16 entries. Blah.
April 2, 2007 at 7:42pm
April 2, 2007 at 7:42pm
#499177
The phone is already fixed! I was surprised, to say the least. The guy wasn't supposed to come until tomorrow, but he showed up not long ago.

The problem was technically not in our house, but it was a problem that we would've been charged for if we hadn't had the linebacker coverage. We have a phone running out to our pole barn, and the line is spliced at our box, but the box is outside of our house. The place where it's spliced is also outside, so it's prey to all of the weather and moisture and junk. The splice had corroded and was causing a short which was causing the static and inability to call in.

It depends on what side of the box that is considered an "in house" problem. Our's was on the "in house" side, even though it was outside and right at the box. But it doesn't matter because it's fixed and I didn't even have to sit around my house waiting a whole day! How's that for service?

Alright. I have to get Ethan a bath now, and then I have to get the Romance/Love newsletter written. I volunteered to pick it up at the last minute, and with the fact that they were working on the phone lines for the past hour and a half, I didn't want to chance doing something and having the DSL go off. That would've sucked for sure.
April 2, 2007 at 4:18pm
April 2, 2007 at 4:18pm
#499138
We went to the Nature Center and ran around for about an hour, then came home to find the phone dead. *Pthb* I hate trying to get anything fixed when it involves waiting for a phone company, a cable company, or any other company for that matter.

"Do you think it's a problem with the line inside of your house?" the guy asks me.

"Does it really matter? I pay for the linebacker service, so you all fix it either way for free!"

"Well it would save us a trip if it's something you can fix on your own."

"If it were inside of my house, it wouldn't cause problem with incoming calls, would it?"

"No, most likely not."

"Then it's probably something you all did downtown."

"I see. Well, someone will be there before 7 pm tomorrow night."

Great. That means I get to wait around my house ALL DAY in hopes that someone appears before I have it hard up to leave. Not that it really matters. It's supposed to storm tomorrow. That means he'll be out checking my lines in the rain.

That's what that asshole deserves. Not that he's the one who messed up my phone line, but he works for them, and that's close enough for me.

Anyway, nobody try to call me. All you'll get is a ring and then static. We don't even get that. I guess that's a good thing, not having to answer the phone. But nobody can get ahold of me in an emergency, so nobody is allowed to do anything urgent like get really, really sick, or even worse, die!
April 2, 2007 at 9:45am
April 2, 2007 at 9:45am
#499073
I love that I have the week off. I know I had said I planned on spending a lot of time with Ethan, but I want to go to the Nature Center or something and the weather is really crappy, so I'm waiting to see if it clears up or at least gets a little warmer. It's only in the 40s right now, but the high is supposed to be in the 60s.

The rest of this week is going to suck where the weather is concerned. Tomorrow is supposed to be storms, it's supposed to rain Wednesday. Thursday, my birthday, it's supposed to snow, along with Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Damnit. It always ends up snowing the week of my birthday. Spring, my ass.

I have plans for all of the rainy days to do things like going to the museum, going to the library, and indoor activities like that. Saturday, I'm supposed to go to Michigan City with Jason's Mom. I sure hope that we get an unexpected warm front so that I'm not freezing my ass off while shopping for baby and maternity clothes. I love going to the outlet mall, but I hate that it's all outdoors, especially when it's really cold or raining.

Stupid weather. It always has to ruin things. Especially Easter Sunday. I guess the Easter egg hunt gets to be indoors this year. Damn weather. Damn, damn weather.
April 1, 2007 at 1:22pm
April 1, 2007 at 1:22pm
#498866
The toddler bed went averagely. Is that a word? Averagely? Tough if it isn't, because I've already used it and I'm not changing my word choice.

He doesn't want to lay in it by himself. He expects Jason or me to lay down with him and stay there. Jason gave in to him, but I didn't. At 4 am, Ethan woke up to find Jason had left him alone in the bed, and started screaming. What further ensued was another 3 hours of back and forth from his bed to our bed to his crib.

I tried to make his transition a little easier this afternoon by sitting in bed with him and reading a few books. He's fine sitting in it with someone, but he still doesn't want to be left alone. It made Jason crabby and me just tired.

This afternoon, we put him to nap in his crib, just so that he gets some sleep, we hope. I put him to bed with no toys other than his Gigi. I don't want him spending an hour playing in bed before he falls asleep, and Jason's Mom has gotten him in the habit of taking a toy to bed with him.

Bedtime is for sleeping, not playing! Otherwise, it would be called playtime. I hope it won't be a problem getting him to understand this. It doesn't seem to have been a problem, though. He cried for about 30 seconds and now he's quiet. Either he's pulled his pants off and is playing with his "boy toy" or he's gone right to sleep. I really hope that it's the sleep thing, otherwise we'll end up having to clean a peepee crib for the second time this weekend.
March 31, 2007 at 9:35pm
March 31, 2007 at 9:35pm
#498760
We bought and put together Ethan's toddler bed tonight. Jason's laying down with him right now to see if we can get him to sleep a full night in it. I want to have him completely transitioned to it in the next couple of weeks so that we can start potty training him because I want him potty trained by the time the baby comes. I'd really like to only have to buy one set of diapers, if I can help it.

He thought it was pretty cool until he figured out that it was another torture device that was meant for him to go to sleep on. I don't know what it is about him, but he is such a light sleeper and hates to sleep. We've had such a hard time the past month, especially since he's been so sick most of the time. I've been giving him Dimatap decongestant the past few nights to help him sleep, which is good and bad. Since we started giving it to him, he hasn't thrown up in the middle of the night, which is the good part. But the bad part is I'm worried that pretty soon he'll think the only way he can get to sleep is to have medicine.

His naps have been suffering, too. He's only been sleeping like 1/2 hour and then waking up crying. We're not quite sure what's going on. The diarrhea comes and goes. We've sterilized everything in the house that he could possibly be putting in his mouth multiple times. I've stopped giving him milk for the past 2 weeks, thinking maybe he's developed a lactose intolerance, but that hasn't seemed to make a difference, either. He's had a complete brat diet for a week, and that didn't make a difference. The only thing that seems to help is to give him yogurt everyday, but now he's sick of it, so I have to fight him to eat it.

Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out how to get my house back to completely healthy. It's going to be a hard fight, but I've got the next week off for spring break, so I'm going to have plenty of time and energy to apply to Ethan's health. God help whatever it is that's sticking to his guts. God help it by getting it out sooner than later. Well, maybe that's more God helping me than it.

Yeah. God help me. I need all of the help I can get.
March 31, 2007 at 9:20am
March 31, 2007 at 9:20am
#498651
Jason keeps reminding me that my birthday is coming up. I was hoping to be able to skip it this year, so I could stay 26. Not that being 27 is a bad thing, but it's one step closer to 30.

It isn't that 30 is really "old" in the sense of gray hair and wrinkles, but when you're a kid, you always have an age that you set as when you become old. You set the age before you really know what old is, before you realize that 30 or 25 or 40 isn't really all that old.

I don't know exactly when I felt like 30 was old, but I do know that when I was in college, I had set my limits for dating to men only under the age of 30. If he was 30 and 1 day, he was too old for me and I would pretty much tell him so. The thought of ever being with someone over the age of 30 felt icky to me, anyway, so it wasn't hard to stick to that rule.

Now that Jason's 30, it's been a huge adjustment for me. It's hard for me to explain, but even though I love him despite the fact that he's 30, that whole "old" mentality still sticks with me. He's only 4 years older than me! I shouldn't feel like he's 60 or something.

And now I'm turning 27. The older I get, the less I want to get older. I was excited about 21 and 25, but after that, I've gotten less and less excited about my birthday. I can't say that life has gone downhill since 25, because I had Ethan just a couple of months before that and this one will be born when I'm 27, so life has gone uphill in my eyes.

I guess I just dread growing up now that I know how much it sucks to get older. The older you get, the more responsible you have to be. Who wants to be responsible? I'd rather be a kid again.
March 28, 2007 at 8:52pm
March 28, 2007 at 8:52pm
#498180
It took until 2 pm, but I finally convinced my doctor's office that I could drink every ounce of water in my house and still be dehydrated. I got the damn needle shoved up my arm, which was slightly more pleasant than the suppository, but only because I knew it would help.

And it did, too. I feel a hell of a lot better tonight than I did this morning. It's amazing what 2 L of saline and a dose of Zofran can do for a person.

I still haven't peed much, even with all that fluid, but I can get myself peeing again now. First, I had to get to the point where I could actually keep something down. Now that I am there, I've had quite a bit to drink and feel like I might just have to go take a piss right now.

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/969382-----Repeat-Offender----