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A version of me has been here before. Not this version. |
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This is my......bazillionth blog. Maybe it will last... Wish in one hand...  
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"The Soundtrack of Your Life"  You know when you hear a song with someone in it that you have never heard before and you fall in total love with their voice? Then you go to seek out and hear other music by that person and realize that you do not really like anything else by that person. It can be disappointing or it can make that original song much better. This is one of those. I already liked X Ambassadors, though I did try not to. And I do admit that when I went seeking I had heard one song by Jacob Banks before without knowing. Not liking him very much has made me love this song so much more. I cannot resist a song with helplessness or…anguish or…sorrow. His verse does so much of that. And his voice in this song, combined with those emotions fucks me up. |
| "The Soundtrack of Your Life" I am off a day on here, and in life. Today is not the eleventh and honestly, that is news to me. Ugh. So here is that one…. My life has gotten slightly crazy for the past week. Like someone is shaking my fucking snow globe. It culminated in a scene I caused at McDonalds. The location that is about 4 minutes down the road from me - because you KNOW the first thing this fucking hick town got some years ago was a McDonalds of course - all the gods save me - it is the worst place I have been in a very very long time. It takes quite a bit for me to cause a scene. I tend to first voice a complaint that is clearly aggressive through my fake smile. A complaint that makes it clear I can be satisfied and sent away or I can remain unsatisfied and remain right there. But when a place makes me cause a scene - I am pretty fucking good at it. Once I threw a bag of frozen nuggets at an employee at Walmart then spent the next two weeks feeling both ashamed and satisfied. For all I know - I am on People of Walmart. I am fine with that. There is NO world where any nuggets of any kind should take 40 minutes. I can bread and fry nuggets in less time. You aren’t killing chickens, you do not employ a plucker, and despite what you clearly believe - we are not standing here for the optics. None of us even think we have ordered real chicken asshole - throw those pink paste patties in the industrial fryer that you never clean and do it like….right the fuck now. You aren’t busy - every single person here is waiting 40 minutes, no matter what they ordered. No one has anything to do for the next 33 minutes. There are some previous words exchanged and some after as well but this is the gist of it - Now I started kind. I swear. But then the manager who is a dick and wants you to know it comes out and address the lobby. “A woman wanted to talk to the manager?” His arms spread out like a ringmaster or… Jesus. “Really? A WOMAN wanted the manager…” as he mad dogs each female straight in the eye. He did not receive an answer within 0.5 seconds and so he throws his hands up and says, “Okay then,” and returns to the very back of the kitchen. It wasn’t me. I hadn’t asked to speak to the manager. But my patience for this place starts out thin. So I did take this opportunity to loudly, loooooouuuuudly, say that “it wasn’t me but I’d be happy to be the one to fucking speak you to now about the way you did that shit.” He doesn’t reply nor return. Not helpful to my attitude. I would have been satisfied with some pushback resulting in an argument and then to leave. But he didn’t engage. He does however send a kid to the register to finally take our cash. But no no no - you don’t get to take our money and not say shit about how you have been telling people it will be 40 minutes. Nope. So I step in between the poor teenager in front of me, who had been bitching with me, and the cashier. I grab the teenager's hand as he holds out his money and am all like, “Nooooooooo, you are NOT about to take this poor boy’s money and not tell him 40 minutes.” The cashier disgustedly says, “What? YOU are next.” So I add, “If we pay for this shit is it going to be 40 minutes?” The cashier says, “Oh hang on, I will answer in a minute.” hahahahahahahaha big big nope. He does not pay. I do not pay. I, in fact, stay and send the next few customers away. I had to drive about 13 miles further to go to a different McDonalds because my sick kid wanted those goddamn nuggets. Here is where rational people say - why do you keep going there? And here is where I say that I can think of nothing more satisfying than a place I can argue with that is only 4 minutes from my house. So what I need today is some zen. Nope. Not some zen. Some fucking zen. And definitely six feet, drugs, or a bandaid. I listen to this song a lot. It really pleases me. It reflects how I feel, well, most of the time. Though the last verse is the best. It makes other people mad. It makes other people on the road roll up their window so their kids can’t hear it. I don’t know nor care what my neighbors think as it blares out of my home’s open windows. If it pisses people off then they too need some fucking zen. |
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