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A written account of daily musings, poems, short stories, & personal experiences. |
I have been working on some short stories and poetry. Feel free to peruse what I have and leave criticism or accolades as you wish. Thanks for stopping by. ~~Sherasi |
The quiet night peacefully shrouds the painless silence that death endows. My life is waning, as does my health, will Thanatos follow Hypnos in stealth? I perceive the shadows in the depths and hear his steady unbroken steps. Come, my Love, my life is barren make haste, lead me to boatman Charon. |
I am a 4th year recovering alcoholic, haven't gone on a bender for longer than that. I know my reason for drinking lie directly with poor coping skills. So all these past 4 years I've been doing, what we call in AA, "service work". This involves opening up meeting halls and rooms prior to a meeting, making coffee, getting books and literature out, working as a group representative with the district meetings and also, for some, being the treasurer of the group. I'm doing all of this simultaneously for about 5 groups a week for 4 years ('commitments' usually last a month, or 2 years with officer positions in the group). I've begun to feel 'obligated', and it is becoming a hardship emotionally and physically. You see, I also have 3 autistic children and I myself am autistic. My husband and I are now getting back together (no longer divorcing) and looking to buy a new house. All this has put a huge physical, financial and emotional toll on me. Part of the problem is my alcoholic THINKING (yes folks it's a disease NOT a "The HELL with you all" attitude) includes over-thinking, obsessing thoughts, OCD and other poor forms of thinking. I've had to re-lay out my brain pathways with cognitive therapy which takes a great deals of effort and it can be exhausting, Where ALLLLLL this is leading is I've finally begun to prune down the things I don't NEED to be doing and being OCD with (such as the service work). I am feeling a relief and a bit of fear. I don't know myself very well, that is I've never sat down more than a few minutes doing nothing. When I do I feel guilty and go bake cookies or something. SO,I need to learn to be still in my own body and my own thoughts. That is HARD, but it is something I need to learn to do. Part of all this is my increasing writing efforts and increasing time with painting and my art. I am now, working on taking it easy... I'll keep you all apprised with my work in progress.
(Here are some of the examples of art) |