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 |  Blog and other works of literary sense |
| Here is a collection of ruminations and whatnot. |
| I am feeling upbeat. I have been applying to foreign countries for a job. One of them tried to call me the other day. Or was it today in the early hours. They are wanting to call me or have me call them. Then later today I decided to apply to Saudi Arabia. They have a good position which I think will be a good match for me. I do not find Saudi Arabia to be difficult a country to live in. I have no religion. They are not interested in anyone celebrating any other faith there but Islam. I will not be a problem to them. I think they're decent. I do wish that I could find a place out of the USA. I am raring to leave. I think I've exhausted all the resources to live and work here. Those people, bastards all, who have been trafficking on my life will be made to answer for their sins and criminal acts. That is all for now. |
| Hi Everyone, I've had a brain wave. I think it might be a fun thing to move to Saudi Arabia. I looked at some of the things one needs to move there. I think it can be done. It does get really hot but who cares. I'll be mostly at home. I don't plan to do much driving anyway. I have learned they are rather progressive in many ways except for their religious ways. They forbid anything except Islam. I dont mind Islam. I am going to study Islam and see what it is all about. I'm not going to become one of those weirdos who spout Islamic stuff but it is a think that is something everyone needs to learn about. Islamic culture is not bad. I think we can learn from our Islamic neighbors. |
| Since habit is such a powerful influence, and we're used to pursuing our impulses to gain and avoid outside our own choices, we should set a contrary habit against that, and where appearances are really slippery, use the counterforce of our training."Epictetus-Discourses, 3.12.6 |
| 1. I’m funny. 2. I’m smart. 3. I am lovable. 4. I am good at typing. 5. I am good with pets. 6. I am good with elderly people and 7. I am good with children 8. I am good at creating novels and 9. I am good at making them into books 10. I am good at self-publishing My body image is not related to what I am as a person nor to my personality nor to my abilities I wear clothes that are able to fit me, and to move with me. I wear LuLaRoe because their clothes are just that way. LuLaRoe clothes are great looking, are good for outside – work and leisure. I feel good in LuLaRoe clothes all the time. LuLaRoe clothes are never junky looking nor are they what people call sweatshirt fashion. |
| I remember when I was still fully employed and getting to think of retirement. I'd decided then that even in retirement I'd still do something to keep me from getting stagnant. I still believe that people who are retired, or contemplating retirement, or being forced by circumstances (e.g. COVID) to retire or do something else should do something else that will keep their minds facile. Being in a state of inactivity, even with the mind left to its own circuitous and something downward paths can be very bad. It will cause one to feel depressed, unable to think clearly, unable to even utter any sort of prayers to God Above about how they feel. One needs to keep in touch with God each day. Retirement is something people tout, and say it's like a happy Saturday every day. But it's not quite all rosy. Many people have not enough money to retire on, but that may be the impetus to make them do work somewhere. Even if it's working for a store as a greeter, there's no shame in it. One can take classes at the community college. Or they can do this online. They can find other activities that would get them out of the house. Or they can work for some people that they know that they can help with. Or, church activities, helping there would be good. Teaching a church group or maybe some sort of volunteer job that they can have. I used to work as a volunteer at the local hospital, selling at the gift shop. That went from about 2000 to 2017. I enjoyed it and the hospital gave volunteers a treat - lunch on their dime. There are many avenues to get oneself out of their sad and somehow uselessness sort of thoughts. We can't give into thinking life is over just because the age you are in is in the range where retirement is 'forced' on you. |
| I am awake, have had coffee, cigs, breakfast. Washed my hair. Now am at the computer. Feeling unsympathetic. I have tried to do my best. I have not been successful. I do not know what else I have to do. I hate my father who is really my stepfather. I think he has lied to me all the time since he adopted me. He has no and had no wish to be a parent in my early years. He was no good with money. ALways had problems. Asked my stepmother to ask her cousin Maria Lagadon for cash every so often. I do not think he ever had a success with any job he ever had. Now he claims he has social security and I do not really know. I think he's a fake through and through. I'm trapped in this house with him as my whatever you can call it. He wants me to be seen as his 'girl' and I hate it. I am not interested in this sort of thing. I already have a lover and He is mine and I am His. I wish to be freed from the prison I am in. Please ask Someone to help me. I do not know how best to go through each day. I avoid him like he has the plague and yet I have to deal with talking to him sometimes so that he at least goes to find some things in the grocery to eat. Or to cook. I do not care to deal with his problems. I wish to go out of this country and live somewhere else where there are normal people who aren't ghouls or bastards. I cannot write anything. I find it hard to write my novels and I feel that if I did it would have a stain of this house in it. Love, Mary |
| I saw a Twitter post about how Japan was the most peaceful place in the world. I like the idea of living in a peaceful place. I went to look for the way to move to Japan. I do not know any Japanese, except for "How are you?" and "Thank you." I cannot read Japanese either. It seems that there are work visas and tourists visas. You might have to re-apply or whatever after you've spent 5 years in Japan. i like their silent and peaceful temples. They have very spartan rooms where one can go to bed. They are a simple living people. They are very respectful and bow to each other. They hardly ever get to any confrontational attitudes with each other. They have a hardworking ethic, and it seems to be something that gets their men into some difficulty. Their rates of birth are low compared to other countries. I'm a bit sad about that. Their women are quite good when it comes to being good wives and keeping the home in good shape, and the children happy. I met several Japanese people when I was in grad school. They were always working at their offices. They had always a lowkey attitude when talking to each other and to people out of their culture. I think Japan might be nice to spend time in. I think my SO might not be so excited to go there and live there forever. It might be a bit difficult to get him to eat Japanese food. I've had Japanese food - sushi, sashimi and other more cooked items. They are all good but it does take a bit of getting used to. I guess I will not think too much about moving to Japan, but I'm still thinking they do have a peaceful nature. Oh, and they are very good at being accurate in their work. They are very strict in looking at new products for healthcare. They also tend to keep a low profile with the newest things that the European or American products that get introduced there. I hope someday that I can visit Japan. And see their famous sites. |
| Anyone, I've been given the permission from the highest levels of the MI5. I am one of their prey. They were asked to kidnap me. Then they put me in a place where they could experiment with my mind. I was 12 at the time. I lived in an ordinary home in Lancashire. These MI5 agents decided (upon orders from the most high of all highs) to remove my early memories until the age of twelve. Then having done so, they replaced these memories with me as a little child who seemingly was born in the tropical country of the Philippines. They added a lot of little bits and bobs of experiences but I didn't feel as though I was any part of this 'new' me. I wasn't able to struggle to keep my mind sane or safe. I was in the hands of bastards. They decided that they were going to be sadistic and make me believe that I had Filipino parents. Who were hired by the most high of all highs in England, to make me think that they were my parents. The life I had with them progressed to when we immigrated to the USA. All this time I felt as though I were someone who wasn't belonging to anyone. I had few friends. I was more at home with what I liked to do. Read, and write sometimes, and talk to God. Now it's true. It's a true story. MI5 does this sort of thing to get anyone they can't keep in the English empire and there are many of these poor English-born people who look like anyone but an Englishman or Englishwoman. Many of these are possibly the illegitimate children of the nobility of England. I'm a nobleman's child. His name is Philip of Edinburgh. My natural mother is Dame Maggie Smith. |
| I've had a stressful afternoon. I had to go out with my stepfather, who's 91, with my two dogs. My dogs have a way of stressing me out. My puppy wants to see everything. Getting him under control takes a bit of work. I had to get some cash from the ATM to give my stepfather so he can buy some stuff. We're low on vegetable oil, and coffee. And other food items that we need to be able to have a nutritious (enough) meal each day. We've had to skip one meal a day just to keep our food from running low too soon before we have any more social security funds to get into our checking accounts. It's like that. But I've had to try to sacrifice, make it so it isn't such a hardship. We are having a hardship but God is good still and he has kept us from getting to worse straits. I'm hoping some of those who know my work (books published and MERRYAGNESKNITS and MEREDITH'S HANDMADE KNITS will look at them online so they could see what they might wish to buy. A life of this type can be a trial if you're only into the first three or four years of creative writing. I'm hoping that because God wants me to keep writing that there will be a way for people to buy my books so that they won't feel as though they're going to be penalized for this act. i hope that tomorrow will come along and there won't be much of a brouhahah about me and how I'm somehow clinging to life. i do have life still, and I'm working on more knit projects. I've not been writing a lot. I figure I've several novels and non-fiction works that people are going to want to look at. Did you also know that I write Erotica? A few people sniff their noses at that genre but it's really not something to turn your nose up. Many romance novels are so bereft of love scenes they could actually want to see what my love scenes have that they could try to imitate. My pseudonym for the Erotica include Genera Patrick and Alexandra Portnoy. Go look at them and see whether they resonate with your desire for a hot and juicy sex scene! My Muse and I had fun making these books! Until the next time, Mary |
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