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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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Sorry for the absence. I spent the last few days helping my sister getting settled after she had a little mishap climbing into her rig. The steps were icy and she slipped. Most people think that truck drivers don't do anything but sit on their bums all day, but there's much more to it than just driving. Her elbow is fractured and she's forbidden to lift, push, pull, or use her right arm in any way for the next four weeks. Angie's right handed and it's really driving her mad too. She's been team driving with her Hubby for seven years now. You may think it'd be tough to spend that much time with your spouse in a small space, but because they sleep different shifts it's not too terribly bad. Her Hubby took her home Wednesday and unloaded her clothes and whatnot in a hurry to get back on the road. So I took Ravyn & her friend (also homeschooled) up to Oklahoma Thursday to help get her organized. The two mile drive up the mountain to her place was quite fun due to recent rain. The girls helped her get her laundry sorted and laid in plenty of firewood while I stocked her kitchen. I even went ahead and cooked a weeks worth of meals for the freezer. Since they don't spend more than a few days a month at home, there was no internet. Cell service is limited at best, but she's all set up now. I plan on going back in a week or so. On the way home, we stopped in Paris, Texas and did a little sightseeing. We walked around the Red River Valley Veterans Memorial and posed at the Eiffel Tower. You know I'm going to squeeze some learning in whenever possible! It's nearly my bedtime, but I plan on catching up on the 30DBC this evening. Cheers! |
| Apparently I tasted too many different wines because I don't remember much of our time on Waiheke Island. Thanks for helping me back to the hotel Fivesixer and Lyn's a Witchy Woman. |
up on the causeway frantic thoughts dissapate stress melts away calm washes over me just for today |
| A trip to New Zealand would be a dream come true! I started longing to visit about 10 years ago. A high school friend and her hubby went on a vacation in Christchurch. They loved it so much, they decided to immigrate. We've lost touch since then, but I kept coming across references to the country. Our community college offers some interesting adult education classes. Two years ago they had one about the indigenous people of New Zealand. It took all of three minutes for me to sign up for that class. I learned so much about the history! I don't watch much American television, I prefer nearly anything overseas. When I came across the show 800 Words, my heart trembled at the beauty. I used to play an online game where I got to know some of the other players in chat. Three of them are in NZ. The more I read about this seemingly magical land, the more I yearned to visit. Until I discovered it would be about $1500 for one round trip ticket. Hubby has no desire to go that far, but no way I could go without Ravyn. I kind of lost hope for that dream, but it's still there. It's just not quite as bright. I know the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but in this case, it really is! I actually have tons of information and lists of places to visit if I can ever go for real. I bet the Southern Lights are glorious from Stewart Island! Well, it may be 20 years from now, but maybe one day I'll be able to meet Elle in person! |
| Tobago- with a name like that, I know this will be a grand adventure. As soon as I can drag myself out of this glorious pool. I don't know what it is about floating in a pool while looking out over the ocean, but it gives me such a feeling of relaxation that I don't know why I haven't done this before. I hope I'm up to the hike. I fear that SPACE COBWEBS and the others will leave me behind if I don't keep up with them. I've never been a bird watcher, but I have to admit I'm looking forward to seeing how many different species we see. The good thing is that it's just our group, so I don't have to put up with strange annoying tourists. The bad news is that it's 8 hours. I better quit yakking and double check my backpack for plenty of water and snacks. |
| I've been all over the place. Well, mainly down. Really down. Like crying most of the day. I did drag myself out of bed yesterday. But only because I had to drag my depressed daughter out of bed. Is it terrible to think that if I had considered the possibility of passing on mental illness I may not have had kids? The only thing worse than trying to drag myself out of the hole of despair is trying to drag Ravyn out. Lord I don't know what I'm doing. And I really fucking hate crying. Seriously. |
| Due to jet lag, which I didn't even know is a real concept, I slept my way through day 8. So here I am in Jamaica on day 9. The Black River safari was quite an adventure, but I have no desire to get that close to a crocodile again. The weather surprised me. I thought it would be a scorching heat, but it more humid than anything else. Thank goodness 🌻 pwheeler ~ love joy peace brought extra bug spray. She's a life saver! We had a traditional lunch on the river bank that included jerk pork. It was a first for me and tasted divine! I'm glad we had a 30 minute trip to the next leg of the expedition, because I needed a little nap. 💙 Carly - February is here! was nice enough to let me doze on her shoulder. Hopefully I didn't snore. The YS Falls were breathtaking. I didn't realize how loud a waterfall was, but it was relaxing too. We're getting ready to head to the Appleton Estate now, so I'll have to check in later. Cheers! |
| I don't know why I bother getting excited about anything. I've been yearning to get away and have a little time for myself or at least spend time with my best friend, which only happens once a year. Silly me! Of course, it's not going to happen. Nope. My job is to be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year to take care of everyone else. Because you know, I don't have a real job, with a real income. It was bad enough that I was going to have to wait to go to the mountains until Friday night so I could make sure Hubby has a ride home from work and turn around and come home Sunday night so I could get him to work Monday morning, but now I've been informed next weekend is mandatory overtime. I can't even get my own fucking mother to help me out for two days. Hubby's thrilled at the OT. Well, of course, he is, because it means he'll have an extra $300 to blow on bullshit. I was so happy when we finally got a new vehicle. My first brand new car. Dependable. No more getting stuck for 4 hours because it won't start or walking to the damn convenience store to buy overpriced toilet paper. I could finally take the kids to all the fun educational things we've been missing out on. Except I can't. Because I have to be at his work Monday thru Friday at 4pm to pick him up and it's pretty impossible to get through DFW traffic and home by that time. And I swear to all that is holy, the next fucking person that has a smart ass comment about how lucky and grateful I should be to be a stay at home mom is going to get punched in the throat. Don't you think I'd like to work? To be around actual adults instead of trying to teach two spoiled teenagers how to be productive, happy grown-ups? To have my own income so I'm not worried about whether or not I can afford to buy a new bra? In case you think I'm being dramatic, just let me tell you that I have to go to a damn special department store for mine because my size isn't carried at the regular everyday shops. And those things aren't cheap! Most of the time I can find a buy one, get one half price deal- for about $85 total. Yeah, I can't just pop over to Target and find a cheap one. Have you ever had an underwire break in public? No? Imagine standing in the grocery checkout line and suddenly having the soft underside of your flesh pierced by a 40mm metal wire. The first instinct is to pull the shrapnel out of your skin, but when you do, what was once held in place now pours freely like a dam collapsing. Then you must attempt to hold everything in place and appear normal while calculating an emergency exit strategy without drawing attention to yourself because you live in a small town where everyone knows what you had for lunch before you even eat it. By the way, did you know that you can't just toss this $50 bra in the washer & dryer and be on your way? Nope. Even though it's built like a bear trap, it must be washed by hand or alone on delicate, then it has to air dry. Plus, you can't just fold it up in a drawer or hang it in the closet, it has to lay a certain way or it will lose elasticity and shape. Two of my bras take up an entire dresser drawer. So yes- I would love to go off to work each day and be a part of society. I would love to -hold the phone- by something a little frivolous. But I can't because I was cursed with so many health issues. Although not enough issues to get a little medical help from the government. Hell, there's a myriad of people that collect disability checks because they're sad, stupid, or crazy. My body literally attacks itself and there's no cure. I'll show them crazy! It shouldn't be too hard, I've been unmedicated for six years because I can't afford health insurance or happy pills. I'm so pissed I don't even know how the hell I ended up talking about underwear and manic depression. Fuck it. I'm going to bed. Maybe I can sleep the weekend away. Cheers, assholes. |
| The history of Boston has always fascinated me. I think the first thing I'd like to do is visit the Boston Tea Party Ships and Museum. I agree with Prosperous Snow celebrating, a month spent in Boston would be a wonderful way to enjoy all the city has to offer. Unfortunately, I'm not in much of traveling mood at the moment so that's all there is for this entry. |
"Note: 48-HOUR CHALLENGE : Media Prompt Deadl..." Waiting. I feel like I'm always waiting. I'm not sure when it stops. Waiting for more time. Waiting for more money. Waiting for inspiration. Blah. My Soul Sister had a small mishap yesterday and fractured her elbow. She's an OTR Driver and fell out of her truck. It was difficult to keep the smile out of my voice when she told me how the doctor lectured her on bone density and such. Are we really getting close to that age? Must be. Since it's going to take some time and physical therapy for her to recover enough to get back to all her duties, her Hubby is taking her home and will continue solo for awhile. Truck drivers do a lot more than drive you know. They've got some land in the Ozarks of Oklahoma, about three hours from me. I miss the mountains of Arkansas, but going to her place feels like home too. So it looks like Ravyn and I will be heading there next week for a short holiday to help her get settled in until her sister-in-law can get there to pitch in. I plan on leaving Wednesday or Thursday morning and coming back Sunday night. It'll be nice to have a few days of just the girls. Thursday is also my 5th wedding anniversary. Yes, we got married on Valentine's day. Honestly, my Hubby isn't one to make plans to celebrate, so it's not such a big deal. Maybe a few days away will help pry me out of this funk I've been in lately. I sure hope so. I hate being depressed. Well, I hate knowing that I'm depressed and powerless to crawl out of the hole. I've been having a blast with the 30-Day Blogging Challenge this month. When I was young and dumb, I had dreams of traveling the world. My ex-husband and I were OTR Team Drivers for a year and I was able to visit each of the Lower 48 states. I quit driving when I had a complicated pregnancy. We would often load Ravyn up in the truck when she was younger and go out for a couple of weeks at a time. I wish she could remember those happy days. As she got older, the family trips became shorter. Instead of the three of us piling up in the truck, I would often take Ravyn on short road trips alone. I think one of my favorite trips was to Colorado. We had a blast at the North Pole. I rode this one mini coaster over and over with her until I thought I'd never be able to walk straight again. Her little laugh was the sweetest sound in the world. When we returned home two days later, I had this terrible pain in my neck. It was debilitating- which is not good when you have a five year old to keep up with. I went to the doctor convinced I had some horrible and rare disease. Turns out that little coaster jerked me around so much that I ended up with whiplash. I had whiplash once in high school from getting too enthusiastic in a mosh pit, but I don't remember it hurting so much back then. Anyway, I still hope to get to Alaska & Hawaii one day. I don't have the funds I did when she was younger and we don't get to too many places anymore. I'm pretty sure I'll never leave North America. I've been to Mexico a few times, but I vaguely remember those jaunts over the border now. Too much Tequila. I once planned to wander through India, Greece, and England. I discovered New Zealand when a high school friend married and moved away. Then I discovered how much the flight alone would cost. Whew! Maybe Ravyn will be able to visit some of my dream destinations when she's grown. If she does, I hope she has pity on her poor old mum and lets me tag along at least once. I think Canada is probably the only country I will realistically be able to see in my lifetime. There are several areas I'd love to explore. Deep down in my secret heart of hearts, I still long for the chaotic adventures of my youth. I suppose that's one of the reasons I devour books at such a rapid pace. To take a journey, if only in my mind, is a great escape from my depressing everyday life. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 