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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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| At long last, I have health insurance! More importantly, I have Latuda! I've been off medication for longer than I like to admit so I damn neared cried when I picked up my prescription today. My new doctor seems young, but she's terribly friendly and eager to get to the bottom of all my weird symptoms. She biopsied several areas of my swollen ankle and foot, saying it's possible I have psoriatic arthritis but I feel like she was thinking about something else. I'm just grateful for the steroids she gave me, the itchy has already become tolerable. I'm fasting tonight to have bloodwork in the morning. My blood pressure was good (surprisingly), but the real cherry on top is that I've lost weight. Even though I've been trying, I was sure I had gained some. The bad news is that I'm still not able to leave my foot down when I sit. It has to stay propped up. Which means no long drives. But honestly, I'm fine with it. Too much has happened lately and all I really want is to get the crazy train back on track and feel normal. After a year of being stuck in the house with Corey and Ravyn and losing several family members, it's a miracle I haven't hurt myself before now. And my husband...well, he's here. I admit that I forget he's built differently than others, but I think we've all gone a bit mad lately. Ravyn told me I did go bat shit crazy on him for not mowing the yard. I'm embarrassed to say I don't really remember much. But I've agreed to give dialectical behavior therapy a chance and Corey agreed to counseling, so there may be hope. It's tough, not knowing why I was born this way and really, not even having a definite diagnosis. It's exhausting and terrifying. Is it bipolar or borderline? I've been asking for years. Today the therapist expressed concern that I have both. I told her to shut her whore mouth before she hexed me. I swear, I've never been so thankful for not having to worry about getting pregnant. Imagine- a man with Asperger's reproducing with a borderline bipolar woman- Armageddon would surely follow! |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 