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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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| My daughter's best friend is not who I would have picked, but that's the way it goes. They met at church 3 years ago and for some reason, they clicked. She has a lot of issues. Her home life isn't great and she's told Ravyn all kind of tales of drinking, smoking pot, and her various boy/girlfriends. Some of it is exaggerated, but I know there's some truth in there too. I have a very strict rule of getting to know parents before letting my daughter visit their house or going anywhere unsupervised. The fact that I have never once met or had a conversation with this girls mom says a lot. I've taken the girl out of state twice, only speaking with her older sister in law. Underneath it all, she's a good kid, but she doesn't have any type of guidance or support system. I'm a pretty laid back parent, but I do have rules. Over the past 3 years, Kimmie has spent more time around our family. In the summer, I drop them off at the pool twice a week. Every Wednesday night I take the girls to youth group and then she hangs at our house until ten, when I take her home. She spends every Saturday night at our house and often a night during the week too when we go to the half-priced movie on Tuesday. She takes trips with us and has adopted Nana, Aunt Angie, and Uncle Chris as her family too. She craves adult attention and eats up our family activities with gusto. Over time, I've noticed things that have really begun bothering me. Her mom's girlfriend moved into their 3 bedrooms single-wide trailer. Then her 17-year-old sister's girlfriend move in. More recently, her 24-year-old sister and her wife and 3-year-old daughter moved in, resulting in Kimmie losing her bedroom and relocating to the couch. She often wears the same outfit and flip-flops. I've had some extremely hard times in my life too, so I try not to be judgemental. The mom puts in long hours at the casino and it doesn't seem like the other adults in the house bother with things like cooking or schoolwork. She was attending an online public school, but basically, quit doing it. Now here's what broke my heart- Doing laundry Thursday, I came across the pants she had worn to youth group. They were the same ones I normally see, but they were maternity pants, tied up on the side to fit. When I asked Ravyn, she told me Kimmie's other jeans didn't fit, so she's been wearing her sister's stuff. I made a comment about her wearing flipflops in the icy weather Wednesday and Kimmie said she borrows her sister's sneakers, but showed me where they leave blisters on her feet and started bleeding, so she just prefers the flipflops. Which is no wonder because the girl wears a 13 and the sneakers are 10. I know she often goes home wearing a shirt of Ravyn's which eventually makes it back into our laundry. Now there's nothing wrong with wearing hand me downs because sometimes life is tough. Heck, I often hit the thrift stores and come across brand names in excellent condition. (Hubby hates this, but I'm a sucker for saving money whenever I can!) But seeing this girl in flip-flops and second-hand maternity pants really hit me hard. She does a lot of bragging about expensive shopping trips, which is obviously to cover up how little she has. We are not wealthy people. We're firmly stuck in the lower/middle-class bracket, but we don't go without. She'll be 16 the day after Christmas and always spends her birthday at our house where I make a fuss over it with cake a few small gifts. The other day she was talking about how many presents are already under their tree and how excited she is for Christmas. When I took her home, Ravyn went in to get some books she had borrowed. The trip home was silent. Later, Ravyn asked me if I had finished my Christmas shopping because I haven't wrapped anything yet. At first, I was going to lecture her on being grateful for what she's getting because it always seems like everyone else has a grand Christmas compared to our family. But then my dear sweet child said that there was no tree in Kimmie's house and she's pretty sure that Kimmie was lying so she wouldn't feel embarrassed. So maybe we could buy her some shoes and clothes for Christmas instead of buying anything else for herself. I've got to do something. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 