A year ago, I didn't think I could survive everything I did. I mean, who thinks that going to Navy boot camp and then surviving a year in the Navy would get them anywhere? I'm spending days trying to just survive and most days I'm slowly losing my mind. I'm breaking down mentally, my knees are trying to break apart physically, and no one else knows about this because it would do me more harm than good.
And yet I choose to do this. I choose to go into a career that could slowly kill me from teh inside out. I don't choose to be depressed or sad or alone. i just don't have any other ways to cope. I'm exhausting all my coping mechanisms because I have nothing else. and I can't tell anyone or act that way because no one believes.
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