One man's journey to find the way home |
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
Depression is fleeting. I can only hope it is the antithesis of the mountaintop. I can not see off into the wonder of the view at the top because I am underneath a foot or maybe more as if a shoe were to fall on my head. I need to find the wellspring do that I can climb and discover the wonder of eternity. |
Visual wholeness When I glanced into the nothingness I opted to see what something was Amidst the chaos of blacks and whites Dance colors redeeming from death to life I choose how I will see this picture In another sense mirrored back on me Passion to care and share loves gift In a an eternal landscape of raptured vision I praise God for time not yet passed To reach out a hand to hold fast The brokenness of humanity unveiled Celebrating the joy, communion revealed Touch my hand Hear my heartbeat See compassion Taste victory, it's ours to cherish for eternity |
I need to trust the process. I am in a pristine state with a day ahead. Looking at finance, I need to be impressed by 46,000. I have eight weeks. So what? My writing is my salvation at the other side of eight weeks regardless. I am discovering a mind that tires. I need to slow down with my best days ahead. |
I hope to write a history others will enter into. I am sure it will take a while. Maybe it will even take eternity. As long as I am not one there is hope to endure. God give me the strength and vision to do so. |