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One man's journey to find the way home |
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| The adventure still in process. I am waiting for procedures and tests to come back in my favor. The greatest adventure of healing and inspiration will no doubt come in the days to come. Until then I long for peace. |
| Comedy of errors on one airplane flight. Of course I am recovering from acute Leukemia hobbling to my seat. I hope I don't regret getting insurance. As I ready to board a crew member can not be found oh no! Finally she arrives out of nowhere after getting paged. Then the power goes out. I and another lady are the only ones on board-Waiting. Finally the power is on. Another disabled person comes on. Gum on seat. I am not sitting there. Oh yeah. Where will everyone sit. |
| Cancer: have you ever battled for your life and wondered if it was worth it all. One dayI was walking ten miles a day. Then starting April 17th my life changed. My wife Sharon was dealing dementia. I was glad she told me to call the doctor. The doctor told me to go to the hospital in an ambulance. I am glad I listened. I was very weak and was given three transfusions. That was just the beginning of journey. Much of I now know took place after all my family raced to Shady Side cancer unit in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. There was concerns about whether I would live or die. Much of the time I was out of it, restrained for my safety , I was pulling out pick line and nasal tubes. I had no idea what was happening. I was tube fed for thirty days. Thank God after numerous procedures and x-rays, they were able to diagnose me with acute Leukemia. I dreaded the test and procedures. This was the first time I had experienced life as a patient. I was given a urinal after they my catheter was rudely yanked off by a nurse ready for vacation. I failed two barium swallow tests before I passed the third and was told to eat all I wanted. I made the mistake of doing this while bed ridden. Poop piled up blocking me up making it impossible to pee. I would go through numerous laxatives and stool softener before they gave me a colostomy enema. I pooped for 45 minutes straight and eventually would come out of my stupor get rehab and be discharged. . |
| Well I am still hanging in there. I realize that my days are numbered. It has been a fantastic experience. I pray that God will help me figure out what to do next. I have a wife increasing worse with Alzheimers. I honestly don't know what to do at this moment |
| A long long time since I wrote. That is because I was hurt and you might say I am trying to recover. So I take all these words that threaten to tie me up and suffocate me and pray that by putting them on paper I will discover I can be healed. I still wonder what a friend is. Maybe before I die I will find out. |
| Life can become too complicated sometimes. We wake up as if coming out of the womb that brought us life to a brand new world. That world and the way we experience that world is ever changing. The one constant is that I open myself up to the possibility of being blessed so that I might bless others. I recall well one experience that touched a deep part of who I am. I was a security guard on duty for an exhibition about the once great unsinkable ship "Titanic". Amidst the glamour and potential for pleasure were the traumas that told a story that transcended anything one could see with the naked eye. These were the places where the ship was broken and wounded. It is a reminder to one and all to be cautious how you enter another person's life. You can never be sure what happened it is holy ground that can only be entered with prayer and the realization that once you enter another person's life you can never be the same. |
| Happy birthday God sent a woman to play among men. Although among her are flowers growing she is the fairest. Her mouth danced revealing lips ripe and ready to go. So glad as a daughter a father to know. The beauty of your bosom a baby will one day know as the babe sucks vigorously to get your sweet milk. And out of your will come children as beautiful as yourself. My heart melts even as you gracefully walk. I am so lucky to know good sexy beautiful woman as yourself. God has done well to share you with a waiting world. May your smile light up the sky with with rainbows as I celebrate the day God you blessed me with you |
| There are those few rare individuals that can literally Bless your socks off and I am feeling that today as I begin my second week of administrative leave. I am so fortunate to have this/these kind of persons on my side as I look forward to another chapter in my life after it seemed like had all but given up. Here is the lesson people. There are person out there for you who would like nothing better than to bless your socks off. Life can become difficult, almost impossible to understand why. God has got your back. Before this life ends God wants to let us know we will see our socks blessed off and more in the name of God who loves and cares with us till death do us part. Amen |
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