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 |   My 2nd blog. My spot for sharing my life, music, and writing with my friends. |
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Hello, Hello. Fancy seeing you here. I'll work on making this nice and pretty later. *  I also have a poetry blog, for those who dig poetry:
AND I have a mental health group with a monthly challenge:
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car ā” * I will never make this pretty. |
Artist: Japanther Album: Rock 'n' Roll Ice Cream Song: She's the One [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics  Hola. 'sup? I'm getting ready to take my math final in a little bit. I'll probably have to leave after I get this entry out, if I even have time to finish it before I go. We'll see though. This shit usually takes less time than I think it will. It's like the exact opposite of writing a paper, where you think it's gonna take 2 hours and it takes 4 instead. BCOF: I Remember Mama/Mother My ma is on vacation right now, livin' it up all fun style. Sendin' me all these pics of huge margaritas and my dad with those beads you get at Mardi Gras. Who knows what those silly kids are up to.  I told her it wasn't fair that she's out wilin' out while I'm stuck doing finals. She told me she did her part when she went to school for 8 years. I guess I forgot about that part..Whatever you do, don't forget that Sunday is Mother's Day in America. I hope I see that ^^^^^^ near the end of the week and remember to wish Ma a happy mother's day. WTMR 1. Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child? How do you think this has affected your personality? I'm the youngest and it totally shows. Look, this is how it is- when parents have a couple kids and then several years later they have another one, the last kid is almost always footloose as fuck. I have two older brothers, but they're like 4-5 years older than me. by the time I turned 13, they were both getting into college. My parents had already done the thirteen year old kid thing and they were d o n e with it. I did whatever the fuck I wanted to do when I was a kid. Stayed out all weekend without checking in, smoked on the porch and drank all the alcohol in the fridge. My brothers still to this day talk about how my parents didn't discipline me and how unfair it was to them because they grew up with super strict rules and like, a bedtime. A legit bedtime where they had to be in bed by 9 o'clock or whatever. I stayed up until 2 or 3 in the morning by the time I was 10 years old. I don't think my parents didn't discipline me. I think I was fairly harshly disciplined on a lot of occasions, but they were TIRED by the time I came around. I was way more unruly than my brothers too, just from jump street. I've always been super emotional, up and down. Raging one minute and chill as fuck the next... I honestly don't think they had any idea what to DO with me compared to my brothers, who generally followed the rules at home. No doubt I have youngest child syndrome. Being the 'baby' in the family, you're always under someone else's wing. It can be hard to develop your own thing because everyone around you is smarter/stronger/faster while you're growing up. Once you do catch up though, you have sort of that 'to be served' mentality. I had everyone waiting on me hand and foot as a kid because I couldn't reach the cups in the cabinet or I couldn't figure my homework out, but my brothers were still in school and would help me. Even now that I'm in college, both of my brothers already have degrees and are continuing their educations still, so I call them the second I get stuck on something and expect them to help. Although I do help both of them with their homework too because I'm probably the most naturally book smart of the three of us. Anyway, I do think I expect to get my way because of how I was raised as the youngest kid. My parents were too tired to deal with me and my brothers did everything for me. I've pretty much carried that into adulthood. I want what I want when I want it and I'll turn into a total dick if I don't get it. 6. Do you have any guilty pleasures that you just canāt give up, even if you think you should? What are they? Why do you think it is so difficult for you to give them up? I definitely have some guilty pleasures. They're mostly bands I listened to when I was 12 or 13 and I can't give them up no matter what. I'm a super nostalgic person, so I like a lot of things that don't really fit my age range, just because they remind me of being a kid. There are a lot of coming-of-age books that I liked at that age and I'll still reread them once every couple years. I'm not really ashamed of my guilty pleasures though. They're just what I was into at one time and I still like them because of that. For example, I used to be in loooove with this band, Fall Out Boy . Their first album came out when I was 11/12 and I was super into it at the time. Every time someone hears me listening to it now they're like, "Uh, are you really listening to that?" I think because it's a pretty far stretch from the other stuff I listen to now.Another one is books like The Catcher in the Rye, where people equate it with being immature and young. They'll be like, "You're reading that book.. again?" I'm not embarrassed by it though because.. who has time to be embarrassed about what they're into? Not me! I don't even care when people read super shitty books because it's like, at least they're reading.. They could be one of those people who are like, "I HATE reading. I haven't read a book in ten years."  There are a ton of people my age who haven't read a book since required reading in high school. They think it's cool to not like reading. WTMR 7. Do you need to write things down to remember them? What was your worst moment caused by forgetting something? I don't need to write things down, but I most definitely should write them down. I'm so up in my head all the time that I forget simple things and it drives everyone around me totally nuts. I'm talking super simple things that you probably couldn't even write down because you'd forget where the list was. I'll leave a container of orange juice on the counter or forget to close the front door. Yes, I've done that multiple times. I think my worst times of forgetting something are when I forget to lock the front door and just go to sleep. Someone could just walk into my apartment and rob me without me even knowing about it. Every time I wake up and the door isn't locked I'm like, oh shit... I should definitely probably invest in some post-it notes for the front door. I might see it before I go to sleep and remember to lock it. But then people would come over and be like, "Wait, you forget to lock your front door that regularly?" One time this semester I forgot to do a paper. Like, totally forgot about it and it was worth a 12th of my grade. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever knew about the paper. I'm assuming I did because I read the course calendar every week. It was three days later when I noticed that I had totally missed it. Luckily, the prof was cool enough to let me do it and turn it in for full credit. It probably helped that I had done every assignment up to that point and had an A in the class. I stayed up until 5 in the morning that night doing the paper. It totally sucked. I need to start making lists. And if you'll wait for me I'll give you everything if I could light my cigarette But if you'll wait for me I'll give you what you need if we can find the pharmacy |
Artist: Dead To Me Album: Cuban Ballerina Song: Special Professional [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics What up, What up! I may or may not be avoiding studying for finals by writing a blog entry. Prove it! Whatevs, let's get into it.Blog City: Do you think food tastes differently when you eat it outside? Why or Why not? What are some of the tastiest foods you've enjoyed outside? I've never heard of this, but it must be some sort of mental thing. Like, oh the perspective of being outside makes this fruit more refreshing." I mean, that could even be a physical thing if it was really hot outside or something. I don't really like to eat outside because of bugs and wind. Like I've mentioned before, eating is never really an 'event' for me. The only meal I really eat is dinner, and that's at like 10 at night. During the day, my eating consists of a snack that I eat on the way to the mailbox and I'm done with it when I get back upstairs. If I'm hungry during the day, I'll eat a few chips or an energy bar and be done with it. At night, I'll eat dinner and watch TV or whatever. Still, in the interest of not being a boring asshole with this prompt, there are some things that are better when you're outside on a hot day. Like, lemonade.. iced tea.. water.. Mostly drinks, I guess. But there's nothing better than hanging outside with some tea. Of course, the container has to be covered, because bugs. Call me what you want, bugs gross me the fuck out. The more legs, the worse they are. I'm a nancy boy, yeah. WTMR 2. Have you ever argued over who should pay for something? What was it, and who ended up paying the bill? Have you ever gotten "stuck" with the check/bill at dinner? Pshh, yeah fuckin' right. No, seriously, I've worked too many places and had the customers trying to be 'nice' by arguing over who pays the tab. "Nah, I'll get it." "No way, you got it last time!" "It's okay, my purse is already out." Just shut up and give me your fucking money. I don't care whose money it is, as long as it adds up to what my register is asking for. I hate that 'politeness' anyway. Why don't you both just pay for your own shit? Why don't one of you pay for it and the other one give cash in the amount of your portion to the payer? Just split the bill. Who cares? It's sort of like when someone is being super duper nice at a 4-way stop, even though you got there like a second after them, so they keep waving you on and then the second you start going, they start going too.  It's like, are you trying to get us into a car accident? Just go. You're not being nice by letting someone go half a second before you. You're actually being a dick because you're making the situation a bigger deal than it needs to be. Like, that ain't your good deed for the day, bro. It ends up taking even longer. Stop inconveniencing everyone else and just fucking go when it's your turn.Same with paying a bill. If I'm with someone and they're like, "Ah, let me get the bill!" Know what I say? "Sure thing, mate, I'm gonna go have a smoke." And then I go smoke in the parking lot while they pay. ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ WTMR 5.Would you say you are generally a good or bad influence on other people? Why do you think that? What's one time that someone was a particularly good or bad influence on you? According to all of my friends' parents when I was younger, I am a devil child! An absolutely terrible influence on their precious, innocent child. The thing is, parents never wanna admit that their kid might've fucked up. It's much easier to say, "Little Johnny never would have done that. Your kid must have convinced him to do it."I've gotta hand it to my parents because that's one area where they'd put people in their place when I was growing up. After the second or third time a friend's parent accused me of being a bad influence to my parents, they started laying into people about it. I specifically remember one time when I had gotten in trouble for sneaking out of my friends house with him to meet up with some girls in the park near where he lived. His parents woke up and I guess went in to check on us (?) Weird as fuck because we were like 13 or 14. We could've been jerking off together, or jerking each other off. Anyway, the kid made my parents come get me in the middle of the night, it was like 2 or 3 in the morning. My parents had a ton of those late-night calls that make your heart stop while I was a teenager. It got to the point where they'd just answer the phone all tired at 2 in the morning instead of having that panicked, "Oh god, what's happening" tone. My dad came up to the house and told me to go get in the car, so I started to walk away and then my friend's dad was like, "You need to talk to that boy because he clearly has no authority figure in his life."  I was surprised my dad didn't deck him. Anyway, my dad asked what made him think that and the guy was like, "Well, he's convincing my kid to do god knows what at 3 o'clock in the morning. They were probably out doing drugs or worse." So my dad said, "Well, maybe you should tell your kid to use his own brain instead of someone else's."I thought that was so badass at the time. As far as people influencing me... I have no idea. I'm sure I've been influenced by other people, but I don't remember any specific time or person. I'm definitely not the type who does something they don't want to do. Even when I was younger and trying to look cool with older friends, if I didn't feel like doing something, I'd just be like, "Well, fuck that." And I'd let them make fun of me if they wanted to. It just happened to be that I've always been down for almost everything. WTMR 6. What type of natural disasters frighten you the most? Have you personally experienced a disaster of that type? Alright, last one of the day. You still with me? If so, give yourself a pat on the back. No really, go ahead and do it. You're such a good doggy. I think the scariest natural disasters are tornadoes, mostly because those are the most likely natural disasters to occur in my area. The thing with hurricanes is that they're horrifying and all, but you almost always know like 2 weeks ahead of time. You can easily get out of there if you want to and you don't even have to go that far inland before you're cool. When I lived in Texas, my eventually in-laws had been through a hurricane a year or two before, but they lived like an hour from the coast so they were totally fine. It rained a shit ton, trees came down, they lost power for two weeks, but no one was injured. It was basically just strong storms. Tornadoes though are super scary because they can happen in a split second and totally level your shit. They never know when they're going to happen either. Like, they might say, "Severe storms with a potential for tornadoes next Thursday" but anyone living in the Midwest knows that claim means absolutely nothing. It might storm, it might be severe. It might be sunny all day. You just never know and if you fled your area every time there was a severe storm or tornado threat, you would have to escape to a different part of the country like every couple weeks for half of the year. I've been through tornado warnings and seen a tornado touch down. I've seen a lot of funnel clouds and generally ominous-looking skies. Nothing major though. I've never lost anything in a tornado or known anyone to get hurt by one. They're still scary though. Hold on tight but don't hold me down Stay all night if you wanna Do your worst, your worst to me No one will ever hear you |
Artist: Brand New Album: Deja Entendu Song: I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Ah, blogging, how I miss thee! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: The month is ending and weāre headed back home for good. Of all the places youāve gone, activities youāve been involved with, people youāve met, and souvenirs youāve bought (and which will stay behind), what will you miss the most? The thing I'm going to miss most is the part where I was too busy with school and work to participate for the majority of the month. I didn't even get to follow along with most people's entries, so I have no idea what went on all month. As long as I didn't get thrown to the sharks at any point, I'd say it was a successful adventure.What I like about these sort of things is how interactive we can get as a group. I like seeing all the different scenarios we put each other in. I always get a good laugh out of the entries and it's been fun this month to read what we're up to from other people's blogs when I've had time. I remember the first couple days pretty well, actually! I remember decorating our rooms and all that stuff. Finn and I both have an affinity for the painting, Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth. It's little things that make months like this fun. You get to learn more about people and how you can relate to them. WTMR 1. Do you enjoy meeting new people? Do you find it easy or hard to jump into a conversation or activity with others? Why do you think this is? Meeting new people is really hit or miss for me. It 100% depends on my mood at that particular moment. I have a lot of anxiety, but absolutely none of it is social anxiety. I don't get nervous meeting new people. I can almost always keep a conversation going with someone when I meet them, even if they aren't the talkative type. I think I'm this way when meeting new people because I don't know them yet. I don't know what they're into or what they like, so I don't really care what they think about me. Once I know someone, it's a little more difficult. Like that period of just being acquaintances is the worst. I never know what's going to offend them or what they're thinking. It's like a wildcard. Plus, when you first meet someone, you never know if you'll even see them again or not. It's easy to just throw caution to the wind and do/say whatever you want. Because, I don't know this guy anyway, right? I do enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them most of the time though. I like hearing people talk about themselves and what they're into. I like when people are passionate about things, like when they're really into science or reading or whatever. They can talk so much about it without even needing anything for reference because they know so much about it. I always think it's interest to try to figure out why someone is really into what they're into. Like what about that particular thing makes their mind click so well. It's just interesting. WTMR 4. For the writers out there -- have you ever had a story in your head for a while (sometimes years) but just can't get going on it? What are your tips for dealing with this type of writer's block? Oh god, for years? No way! I would lose my mind if I had a story in my head for years. I would have to keep attempting to write it until it just came out. I'm more of a poetry writer, so I notice things like this with poetry sometimes. It doesn't last for years though. Sometimes I'll have a sort of idea in my head for a couple weeks and then I'll try to write the poem eventually. It doesn't always turn out how I wanted it to, but at least I have the general idea out there then and I can come back to it later and build off of it if I want to. Most recently, I was watching the news a week or so ago and I had a 'sort of' idea in my head for a poem. I'm doing Give It 100 and NaPoWriMo write now so I figured the idea would come out sooner or later. I sort of forgot about the idea again until my friends were talking about the Baltimore riots and I was listening to what they had to say about it. I didn't know anything about it because I hadn't watched or read the news in almost a week at that point. I don't really like to watch the news because it's always so depressing and I feel like the sources are overdramatized and not reliable most of the time. There's such a sensationalism about the news that I just can't get into. When I learn about something, I want to learn about every side of it, not just one person's viewpoint or the perspective the news feels like giving that day. Anyway, that rant has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. So after hearing my friends talking about the riots, I went and watched the news on my own that night and that's when the rest of the poem in my head was cultivated and it became "Invalid Entry" , one of my favorite poems of Give It 100. I'm almost 50 days in, halfway through right now. I think I'm on day 47 if I'm not mistaken.My advice for writer's block is to let things grow in your mind. The longest part of the writing process for me is just thinking. I almost always write the majority of a poem in my head before I even begin the physical writing process. If you have an idea in your mind, keep it there and let it grow and flourish until you have enough to start writing. This is great because you can be continuously experiencing the writing process, while you're driving, working, falling asleep... Pretty much whenever your mind is working, you can be writing. Sometimes you just have to force things to come out and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with forcing yourself to write something and having it turn out shitty. Leave it alone for a week and come back to take away the usable parts and try again. What's that saying... fake it til you make it? I wrote more postcards than hooks I read more maps than books Feel like every chance to leave Is another chance I should have took |
Artist: Glass Animals Album: ZABA Song: Gooey [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I'm going to do things in a different order today and do my entry before starting my schoolwork. Probably not the smartest thing to do, but hey, we all need some blogging time! I have fun prompts today, so I want to make sure I get them done. Little play in exchange for a lot of work? Seems fair to me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: Weāre headed to an excursion underground or underwater. Where are we going and what happens? Oh no! I picked a terrible time to come back. No way am I going on an underwater excursion, unless I'm enclosed in a submarine, and even then, eeeek. That just gives me chills. I can't stand underwaterness. See, I can make up words too, Elaine. Let's dock our ship for a while and go into a cave instead. There's something about solid ground that I find more comforting. Just watch out for spiders and other cave creatures. We should have a cave scavenger hunt. We'll split into teams of two and try to find cave things, like, I don't know. What's in a cave? Cave fossils? Cave diamonds? I don't know what happened with the scavenger hunt, but I bet we can get super rich off of some cave diamonds. I saw this cave where the whole inside looked like diamonds. It was some kind of stone formation. See, a crystal cave  . It looks like it would be really cold in there.WTMR 2. Are you a designated organ donor? Why or why not? I'm going to preface this by saying that I understand donating organs is a good thing for science and medical fields. I'm happy that there are people willing to do it. If I had been asked this question a year ago, the answer would have been the same, but my perspective would have been much different. When this debate comes up, I often hear, "I'm dead anyway! What use do I have for them?" Let me tell you how organ donation can actually be selfish rather than heroic as we're often told. My grandfather was 75 years old and became an organ donor in his old age. He used to watch these infomercials made by an organ donation campaign. They would have callers call in about organ donation and, ya know, you'd hear about how someone's family member was saved by a set of lungs or whatever. Anyway, he apparently got his license renewed when he was in his 70s, shortly before he died. When they asked him if he wanted to be an organ donor, he said yes for the first time in, what, 55+ years of driving? One morning, he woke up and fell out of bed. He had a massive brain stem stroke and immediately fell into a coma. The doctors said there was no chance that he would pull out of it. It was too severe. When the time came to pull the plug, bam- the family was hit with this organ donation signature. The people representing the organ donation company were like hounds in the ICU, telling the family that these were his wishes and they needed to allow it to happen. Sure, you might think, well, they were right. He said he wanted to do it, so they should just do it. Did you know that if someone is in a coma and they're an organ donor, the family is not allowed to be there with the family member when the plug is pulled? I didn't know that. His wife, children, siblings.. no one knew that. They thought they would get to say goodbye and be there with him as the plug was pulled, then the organ donation people would come down after and take the body away. That is not the case. In order for them to do the organ donation, your family member will die alone. If you're an organ donor or one of your family members is an organ donor, make sure that everyone is aware of that because it is really, really difficult for a family member to just walk away from their loved one who is on life support and let them die alone when the plug is pulled. The family's argument was that he didn't know that they would not be allowed to be with him at time of death. He saw on these commercials that organ donation was a good thing, so when they asked at the DMV, he just said yes without being given any further information on it. My grandfather had diabetes, high blood pressure, a heart valve, and tons of other medical issues. I'm sure there were things they could have used, but it absolutely would not have been any of the major organs. So, to answer the question no, I am not an organ donor and I will never be an organ donor. It isn't fair for my family to have to go through that while they're already traumatized as I'm dying. Maybe I'm a dick for it, I don't really care. After seeing my grandfather's family go through that while they were already in shock, I would never do that to my family. No thanks. Don't give me donated organs because I'm not a donator. I'm cool with that. It's just not something I'm interested in doing given what a family has to go through at the time of death. Sorry. WTMR 7. Do you laugh at things that you shouldnāt? Describe one time in particular when this happened. Did someone else see you laughing? If so, what happened? Ugh, yes. I used to have this thing when I was younger where I would laugh if an adult was yelling at me. It wasn't like a 'ha-ha' laugh, but nervous laughter because I was scared or anxious. I would also avoid eye contact and squirm around. I couldn't sit still as a kid. I guess I still can't, really.One time I was getting in trouble at school and I was sitting in the principal's office. I was probably thirteen or fourteen years old. I got into a fight with someone, off of school property, after school and I was getting in trouble the next day. I didn't know I could get in trouble for something I did when I wasn't at school. We got into a fight across the street from the school and a teacher ran over and broke it up, so I guess that's how they knew about it. So our parents had to come to the school and this kid and I were sitting together waiting for our parents to get there. We were looking at the yearbook because we had just gotten them in that day. I never got one, but his parents got him one, so we were looking through it together and laughing about people's pictures or whatever. We weren't even mad at each other anymore. I don't remember what we got into a fight about, but it definitely wasn't like a vicious, brutal fight. We were both totally fine. It was like a schoolyard scrap. Anyway, my parents got there so I went in first and the principal was soo serious. Like, he was so upset about this fight that we didn't even care about. At one point, he told me that we "could've killed each other" and I just totally lost it. It started off as a slight chuckle and turned into a full on giggle fit. It was horrible. At first, my dad tried to tell me it was serious and to stop laughing, but then he started laughing too because they principal was being so over the top. I thought he was going to start crying while talking about this fight that no one got hurt during. I think it was when the guy said that I was going to end up in prison if I didn't stop that my dad started laughing too and said, "Well, you know kids are going get into scraps every once in a while.." I guess it worked out in my favor that time. There were plenty of times it didn't though, especially when it was one of my parents yelling at me.Truth be told I've been there I've done this all before I take your gloom I cut it up and puff it into plumes |
Artist: Placebo Album: Black Market Music Song: Commercial for Levi [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I've been away for entirely too long doing Charlie things.  Finals are coming up in a couple weeks, so I'm super busy in all of my classes right now. I figured I'd at least try to do some of the WTMR prompts for the week because there are only a few more days to get my five in. I'm still reading entries from the Magical Ship, but I've clearly totally fallen out of that one. How did I used to blog every day? I don't even remember.WTMR 1. Which languages do you speak or read? If you know multiple languages, why did you learn more than just your native language? If you could learn another language fluently, which would it be and why? I only speak English fluently (on a good day). I had a choice between French and Spanish when I was in school. I chose Spanish because I thought it would be easier. For some reason, I can't pronounce French words. My mouth just says no, it's too beautiful a language for my mouth. I had two years of Spanish and the only thing I know how to say now is "there's a cat on fire in my pants". Hay una gato en fuego en mis pantalones. Don't ask why I remember that or why someone would ever say that. It just.. is what it is. I was never proficient in Spanish, even at the end of my two years. Well, make that a year and a half because I left school halfway through the second year. My first year, I had an awesome Spanish teacher. She was only awesome because she wasn't super strict like most of the teachers were. She was young and it was her first teaching job, so I think she wanted the kids to like her. She didn't make us do a lot of homework and her exams were crazy easy. Then we went into year two and had this psycho teacher who was super strict and only allowed you to speak in Spanish in her room. None of us had actually learned anything during the first year, so there was very little conversation in that classroom. She would yell at us in Spanish too and we'd just sort of shrug because we had no idea what she was saying. I do remember talking about Taco Bell and claiming that it was a Spanish-related conversation. Chalupa, bitches. WTMR 4. Do you ever talk out loud to yourself? What do you say? Why do you think you do this? All the time. Well, sort of. I have cats so I talk to them out loud all the time and they stare at me like I'm weird. If my mind is racing, which it often is, I'll talk out loud so I can sort my thoughts out before I lose my mind. This practice is usually done with pen and paper too. I'll write down everything I need to do and talk to myself about it so that I can get sorted. Mostly though, I talk to my cats. I don't baby talk to them, but I talk to them like people. Like, "Hey, man. Did you hear that noise too? I think someone just broke into our apartment. Oh, it was the heat kicking on? Okay, that's cool. I'm almost done with this paper. Wanna watch another episode of Beyond Belief?" Does that make me crazy? It's not that I have a lack of people to talk to or anything like that. I just spend a lot of time alone working and studying. I don't want the actual distraction of something that speaks back, but I don't want to be completely by myself either.That's why cats are awesome. They're always just.. there. You don't have to take them outside to go for a walk. They don't jump all over you demanding attention (usually). My youngest cat and I will seriously chill for seven or eight hours straight watching movies and doing homework. He's like my little hang out buddy, so I talk to him like a hang out buddy. WTMR 5. Whatās your favorite smell/scent? Is it somehow connected to a specific memory? If so, what is that memory and why is that scent so strongly attached to it? Well, I've already answered this question a couple times, but I'm going to go with a different scent now. For the curious bunch who don't already know, I fucking love the smell of vanilla. It just reminds me of people and things. There is not better smell in the world. It just connects me with things. Other than that though, since I've talked about it already, I love the smell after rain in summer. Like when the grass has just been cut and the air is thick with humidity. It reminds me of being young and playing outside after a storm. Pluuuus, if you're smelling that scent, you might get to see a rainbow, which is like nature's halo. The coolest thing ever. Food smells don't really do anything for me. Even if something smells good, it doesn't make me want to eat it usually. I like the smell of cinnamon a lot. It's in those potpourri things usually. My ma liked to keep those around the house because they smell good, but they aren't super overwhelming. I like candles more than potpourri though. There's nothing like a good candle. I like the ones that smell like flowers or apples and cinnamon. Citrus is nice too. I understand the fascination I've even been there once or twice... or more But if you don't change your situation Then you'll die, you'll die, don't die, don't die |
Artist: Tom Waits Album: Rain Dogs Song: Diamonds and Gold [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Yay for the first day not being sick on my new dosage of meds. I still have my appointment tomorrow, so I'll mention that I'm not on the highest dose yet and see what the doctor wants to do from there. I spent all day writing an English essay. After I write this entry, I have to go take a shower and work for the rest of the night. Definitely not a fan of days like today, but it's much easier to do when you're not sick, so I'll make it work. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: Youāre in your bed after a long day of touristing and you hear something. After investigating, what do you find out the noise was? Looks like you invented a word, Elaine. Nice one! After touristing all day, I'm going to assume that I'm hallucinating. When I come out of my cabin, I see something huge poking out of the water. I can't make out what it is in the moonlight, so I ask ~Minja~  and she grabs a spotlight and shines it into the water.It's a gigantic sea creature! Oh god, it's hideous. Speaking of giant sea creatures, I saw a picture a while ago that freaked me out. The ocean is just.. creepy. It's so dark and deep. You never know what you'll run into down there. I think it was an art picture, not a real picture. Let me see if I can find it.. Ah, i couldn't find it, but I found a ton of other photos that creeped me out. Here are a couple: Seaweed in waves  Nope Fuck All This (This especially.) WTMR 7. How are you going with your goals? These could be goals for the month, year or longer. I have so many goals right now, it's hard to keep track of them all. My school goals are going well. I have about 3 weeks left for this semester and I have all A's right now. As long as I don't bomb my finals, I should get all A's in all of my classes. Then I have three weeks until summer classes start.  I'm one day behind in Give It 100 and NaPoWriMo. If I want to catch up, I have to write two poems today, which may or may not happen. You can keep track of my progress in my poetry blog:
I think I should be on Day 37 right now and I just finished Day 35 yesterday. I'd love to hang out and catch up tonight, but I kind of doubt that will happen with work. Oh well, I'm not super far behind so I'll catch up there when I get a chance. With my work goals, eh... I fall way behind and catch up slightly. I'm always at least a little bit behind though. I don't think I've been legit caught up since I started school. I've taken probably a 15% pay cut, which is just what you have to do sometimes, I guess. There isn't much I can do about it because my time is stretched so thin. Overall, I think I'm doing okay with my goals. I could always be doing better, of course. That's part of being an adult though, I think. You're never really on top of everything at once. You have to prioritize and allocate time for the things that are really important to you. There's a hole in the ladder A fence we can climb Mad as a hatter You're thin as a dime |
Artist: Guided By Voices Album: Alien Lanes Song: Game of Pricks [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I'm sucking so hard at the blogging thing this month. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Why am I not surprised to see AndrƩ emerging now that we're halfway through the month? Classic AndrƩ! I bet we're going on a treasure hunt! I just know it has to be coming at some point in the adventure. That's the whole point of being on a ship. Well, that and ship battles, which we've already done. I'm scared to think of where he could've hidden it though. I bet it's in shark infested waters or at the bottom of an underwater cave. It's probably just full of golden bananas anyway. WTMR 2. Who wears the pants in your relationship? If you're not in a relationship, perhaps comment on relationships you've observed - do the men or women in your family tend to be more dominant in the decision making process? I probably don't really wear the pants in my relationship. I'm not sure, but I try to be as agreeable as possible. I sort of have the same thing in all my relationships, whether they're romantic or not. I try to be laid back and I don't really care where we're going or what we're doing ever. I don't like to make a lot of decisions because I just don't really care enough to even have discussions about menial things.If I get upset about something though, the other person is gonna hear about it for sure. I'm basically super submissive.. until I'm not. It's not uncommon for me to get hostile or aggressive when I'm pissed off, but I think it takes a lot to push me there. I try to let things go when I can. Once I get something off my chest though, I can usually forget about it. In my family, hmm.. I'm pretty sure the men are more dominant in the decision-making process. Scratch that. I'm positive that the men are more dominant in every relationship I have an example of in my family. Like, every single one. The women are far more submissive. WTMR 6. Trolls and bullies. We've all known at least one. Tell us about it. Is it something insignificant and easily forgotten, or something that still plays on your mind? I was never really bullied by kids my age while I was growing up, but I know it's not forgettable for most people. I got into a lot of fights in school, but those were mutual things that didn't involve either one of us being picked on. I never bullied anyone and I always stood up for people who were being bullied, even if it meant getting into a fight with the bully. I can't just sit around while someone is getting picked on, even now. You know how there's one friend in a group of friends who always gets the piss taken out of them by everyone else? Well, I don't like that. I've never been that person in a group of friends, but I won't go along with it when my friends do it. I'll jump to the person's defense pretty quickly because it's just something that gets old so fast. I felt mostly picked on by the adults in my life when I was a kid, to be honest. They were the ones who always seemed to have something negative to say to bring me down. I don't feel picked on by anyone anymore. If I did, I'd punch them in the head. I've waited too long to have you Hide in the back of me I've cheated so long I wonder How you keep track of me You could never be strong You can only be free And I never asked for the truth But you owe that to me |
Artist: Cat Stevens Album: Teaser and the Firecat Song: The Wind [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: Several people have already mentioned a beach. Today our excursion is to a beach. Where are we going? What are you wearing? If you hate beaches, what will you be doing while the rest of us bask in the sun? Be sure to wear sunscreen! Ah! ~Minja~ and I were just talking about the beach yesterday! Oh, I love beaches. We would have to go to a beach with white sand and pure blue water. I went to some nice beaches down in Florida that were beautiful.How could someone hate the beach?! That would be absurd! Worst case scenario, you lather on some sunscreen and read a book on a lounge chair.I've heard that the Maldives have amazing beaches. I would definitely want to check that out, so let's stop there for a couple days and soak up the sun.  WTMR 3. What's your favourite special occasion of the year, the one day or event you look forward to most? I absolutely love Halloween and the weeks leading up to it.  The weather is usually really nice around that time and the leaves have all changed colors and are falling from the trees. I think it's my interest in all things horror that makes Halloween such a fun time of year for me.When I was a kid, my brothers and I would be thinking about our Halloween costumes in June. We would go out both days and just absolutely destroy every neighborhood we could go to. We were what I would call hardcore Trick-or-treaters. We'd legit go door-to-door for 4 hours two nights in a row. I don't even think it was really about the candy, though that was an awesome benefit. It was just this sort of electricity in the air and everyone's having fun. Very happy memories for me.Now I enjoy Halloween in a different way. I'll have a horror movie month and watch several horror movies a week leading up to Halloween. Then on Halloween, I'll usually go to a party or maybe a bar. It isn't as fun as it was when I was a kid, carving pumpkins and doing stuff like that, but I do still enjoy the nostalgia of that time of year. If I have kids, Halloween will be awesome again because I can dress them up and take them out to get candy and stuff. It would be a lot of fun. I listen to my words but They fall far below I let my music take me where My heart wants to go |
Artist: Steve Miller Band Album: The Joker Song: The Joker [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: On one of our excursions you meet an animal. Tell us where we are and what happened in the encounter with the animal. Were you thrilled, scared, amused? I am officially the worst crew member ever! I've been totally out of blogging all month. I think I've only written like 5 entries or something so far. I love animals though, so I figured this would be a good one to pick up! I feel like I would meet a penguin during our trip. They just seem to live near water and icy stuff.  I definitely would not be scared to meet a penguin! I would meet a penguin in Antarctica. He'd be my spirit animal like in Fight Club! Something like this would have to happen just as the Magical Ship got to be too much for me. Like, I'd be on the verge of cracking and then I'd look up and see this little penguin bro waddling over. Maybe share a smoke and chill out. I dunno. Penguins are cool. WTMR 1. There are many ways to 'label' people and sometimes we identify strongly with a certain label. Are you a typical middle child? A typical pisces? A typical INFP? Have you ever found a personality type/description that suits you? (For a great personality test, take the test here and then see what the result says about you here ) Cinn  actually had me take the Myers-Briggs test last year. I had taken it before too. I always get INFP on it, which is "The Idealist". That group is all about feeling and intuition. Let's see what else it says... generally thoughtful and considerate, sincere, good mediators, flexible, laid-back, becomes aggressive when their value system is threatened, passionately fights for their cause, don't like to deal with hard facts and logic, usually talented writers, may feel uncomfortable expressing themselves verbally but have an ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper.So... yeah. You know, I hate these types of tests. I always have because I feel like it puts you in this little box and tells you how you are based on a few questions. When I first took it with Ky last year, I was so annoyed because all of the famous INFPs have, like, committed suicide or OD'd or something. I mean, Kurt Cobain, Ian Curtis, Jim Morrison... It's actually funny because my initial reaction was so on point with the INFP personality. Like to get emotional or upset about it. After seeing how many awesome people were INFPs though and reading about the personality type, I think it's actually quite fitting. So many good writers were INFPs. George Orwell, Albert Camus, C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, Woolf, Poe, Kafka, Shakespeare.. and then also artists and musicians, like Morissey, Thom Yorke, Warhol, etc...It's like THE creative personality type. The only thing I super disagree with is not liking hard facts and logic. Math is my favorite class because of that exact reason. I love the black and whiteness of mathematics. But, I guess in my personal life, I do things based on emotion waaay more than logic. There is one thing I read in the INFP profile that solidified it for me: "When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet." This couldn't be more accurate of me. You're the cutest thing I ever did see I really love your peaches, want to shake your tree Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time |
Artist: Tom Cochrane Album: Mad Mad World Song: Life Is A Highway [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Did you know this song came out in 1992? I did not. I thought it came out in like the 70s or 80s. I don't care what anyone says, this is one of the best road trip songs ever! I mean, it just screams road trip when you hear it. It feels really nice out today. I went outside to mail my ma's birthday card and it's probably at least 50 degrees and super sunny outside too. I love nice weather! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: One of the aftermaths of the cosmic storm is someone has dreamed up Captain Hook along with his ship, the Jolly Roger, and associated crew. His ship pulls up along our ship and a battle occurs. Tell us what happened in this battle. Uh oh, a vicious battle? Let's do this! First of all, PandaPaws Licensed VetTech  is going to distract them with her panda dance moves. While they're distracted, we'll have ElaineElaine , Prosperous Snow celebrating  , and Lyn's a Witchy Woman  pelt them with seashells that Dragon is hiding collected on the beach. Sorry about your shells, Dragon.  We'll find more!We'll need to find ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy  because she might have a gun on her. Brother Nature and Fivesixer  built a canon that shoots bowling ball grenades and we took out one whole side of their ship right away. ROSĪ£ANNĪ£|NaPoWriMo|WGT|JDI and pinkbarbie made a flag for us to raise upon our victory. ~Minja~ will lead us because she works on a ship and has been in many ship battles I'm sure. Finn O'Flaherty will steer the ship because she has excellent driving skills that are the envy of everyone.Captain and his crew tried to forfeit, but skeason said no way. They have to pay for messing with us. Cobe built a plank that led directly to their ship. sunnystarr and Being Diane tiptoed over and ransacked their kitchen for food while they were busy fighting. Kit_Carmelite declared the battle over when Captain Jack's crew started jumping overboard just to get away from the onslaught of bowling ball grenades.In the end, and were nowhere to be seen. We all climbed over the plank to ransack their ship. It turns out Bernie and Cheri were already over there collecting books and loot. They even found a treasure map. Who knows where it leads? Unfortunately, we never found Cub-bee  . Poor Cubby.WTMR 3. What, if anything, do you think is missing from your blog? Is there anything you'd like to work on changing? Do you have any blogging goals? Let's see, what's missing from my blog? Sometimes I think I'm not putting enough of my personality into my blog. When I first started it, it felt super open and emotional but then I started pulling back from that a little bit. I still like my blog a lot and I feel like I've gotten a bit more creative with it instead of being super straightforward and emotional all the time in it. I sort of realized that there are some things you should share and some you shouldn't. Honestly, you don't have to share every single thing that happens, especially if it serves no purpose to the blog. There are things going on that I could talk about, but I sometimes just like the simpleness of answering the prompts and seeing how other people respond to them too. There something sort of pure about it that I like. My only real blogging goal is to stick with it despite being busy at school and work. I don't want to let those things take over my life completely. I still need the release of writing for fun instead of just writing papers and taking tests. I've done pretty well with it this first semester, so I hope I can continue that throughout school. 4. April is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo). Share a poem with us. It can be yours or someone else's. Share why it appeals or doesn't appeal, maybe what it means to you. I'm actually doing Give It 100 right now and writing 100 poems in 100 days. I'm also participating in NaPoWriMo here on the site. Today is day 29 of Give It 100 and day 11 of NaPoWriMo and I haven't missed any days yet! I think that's awesome because a month ago, I couldn't even imagine writing a poem every day for two weeks. They aren't all winners, of course. Some of them are terrible and I would never actually want to do anything with them, but some make me happy because they're decent or at least something I could work with in the future by rewriting or editing them. Let's see, which to share... Well, here's the most recent one in my poetry blog, "Invalid Item" : "Invalid Entry" . I sort of wrote this one in my head last night while sitting out on the balcony and looking at the sky. It's sort of rare to be able to see a lot of stars here, but I could see some last night and I started reminiscing about how small they make you feel sometimes. I think everyone can relate to that to some degree. Plus, it's only eight lines long. Life is a highway I want to ride it all night long If you're going my way I want to drive it all night long |
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I'm still so confused. How did they get to senior-level finance with so little know-how. I don't get it. 
It's great to see you back around. I'm sorry you've been having life issues. I hope you're doing much better now? You know I have a foul mouth. 
People definitely tend to jump straight to the worst conclusion when any problem arises, which is why you so frequently hear, "My computer is broken!" when there's really a simple fix. 
Just why. It's so gross. We need to get you some personal finance help! This is only tangentially related and not a statement on you, but one of the nonprofits I work with consists of me making budget plans for people who were recently homeless and have just gotten back on their feet. A lot of the people I work with have only been at their job for less than a month or been in an apartment for a week or two. My role is to gather all of their financial information and then consult with them on their bills, disposable income, purchases, and stuff like that. It's shocking to see the financial decisions people make after just being homeless. I'm like, dude, you were just homeless 2 weeks ago. 
I have seen so much of the disasters it has caused with some people. I have in the past been unconsciously roped into financial situations that were most unpleasant and having to make sensible plans to unravel them.