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 |   My 2nd blog. My spot for sharing my life, music, and writing with my friends. |
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Hello, Hello. Fancy seeing you here. I'll work on making this nice and pretty later. *  I also have a poetry blog, for those who dig poetry:
AND I have a mental health group with a monthly challenge:
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car ♡ * I will never make this pretty. |
Artist: Fleetwood Mac Album: Rumours Song: The Chain [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics  I guess it's time for me to try to get back into the swing of things here. For those of you who don't know, my grandmother passed away last week. "Note: I know I'm dropping the ball with some stuff a..." It was very sudden and unexpected, as she wasn't ill beforehand at all. That makes it super hard because no one knew it was going to happen. It wasn't like a terminal illness where you have time to come to terms with it. I wish I could have just one more conversation with her. I saw her a couple weeks ago and she was fine. I had plans to see her Sunday, but she was gone on Friday. I think the family is still in shock a little bit. But, I know that life has to move on, so that's what I'm going to try to do. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** 30DBC: Oh, no it is raining and only 46 degrees Fahrenheit, it is only 7.77778 Celsius. Brother Nature (Joel) or Lady Carly - House Baratheon is this how you reflect the differences in temperature from Fahrenheit and Celsius. Try not to touch your tent celling or walls with your hands, it will leak wherever you touch. Laying in your sleeping bag in the rain tell me what other sounds do you hear in the woods around us? Did you notice the skyline before you settled in for the night? What did you notice around us today? Someone cooked today, what did we have? What takes place when it is raining and you are cooking outside? Do you know what we need to do to adapt? Enlighten us all with your thoughts. I feel like I've missed so much!  I don't even know who's camping with us this year. Only 46 degrees out though? I'm using Fivesixer  as a blanket. I hate when it rains while you're camping, or it's hella windy and you feel like the tent's gonna fly away with you in it. Whatever, Dorothy.Who's good at cooking around here? I know Cinn  doesn't cook. Maybe ~Minja~  ? I know Lyn's a Witchy Woman  can cook, but she's running this thing so I doubt she'll want to do the cooking too. What about you, Elle - on hiatus ? Cooking? Yes? No? Okay.All I know is that I can't cook at all. Like, if I'm cooking, we're opening a can of Spaghettios and cooking over the campfire. Yummm. I don't know, what is camping food? All I know about is smores. Maybe.. hot dogs? But how do you keep them cold? I remember camping when I was younger, and I don't think I starved, but who knows. Maybe I went camping for a week and didn't eat the whole time? I love the sound of rain in a tent though. I like when it's lightly falling through the leaves. It makes me sleepy to even think about it. I had a tent when I was younger that had a see through roof and you could see the sky at night. I thought that was really cool. They should all be that way. I don't know what you do if it's raining outside while you're trying to cook. I think you would maybe have to try to get under some trees so that the rain wasn't directly hitting you so much. I don't know how much that would help, but it would surely be better than just standing in the middle of it, right? BLOG CITY: An author is only as good as their last novel. Do you agree? I disagree with this statement, but I like the sentiment. It's kind of like how a lot of bands starts making really awful music so no one has listened to their last four albums or whatever. I don't know if writers are really like that though. I feel like a lot of them just keep getting better. See, when I read books though, I rarely know the order in which they were written. I mean, if it's a standalone novel, I don't search to see if it's the first or last or somewhere in the middle of the author's total body of work. I would say though that a writer's worth is the cumulation of everything they've ever written, and I think people see things that way with all forms of art. If van Gogh paints something awful, it doesn't take away from the good things he painted, right? So, if a writer has four amazing novels and then their last one is kinda blah, that doesn't mean that the first four weren't awesome, it just means that last one was blah. It's the same way with bands too. If the first three studio albums are amazing and the last one sucks, it doesn't really take anything away for me in terms of the first three albums. I'll still like them all the same. WTMR 2. How bad does a book have to be for you to stop reading, or do you always plow through no matter what? Tell us about the last book you had trouble finishing. Honestly? A book doesn't have to be bad at all for me to stop reading it. In fact, a book can be really good and I'll still stop reading it. I just.. don't have time to read a lot. A book has to be really really good, fast-paced, and interesting for me to stick with it until the end. When I was younger with more free time, I would be so patient with a book. It was always like, well, I'm only three chapters in, I'll give it one more chapter. Then, well, I'm almost to the halfway point, I'll give it until halfway. Then... i'm over halfway, I might as well finish at this point.  Now it's totally different. I'll stop reading a book right in the middle, even if I like it, depending on how much free time I have. I'll also just totally quit reading a book after one chapter because I've read twenty pages and I've been bored the entire time. The biggest thing that will make me stop reading a book is too much detail in the first ten to twenty pages. Like, I don't need to know every single physical detail of every single character you introduce. I want to know about the actual people beneath the surface or some sort of conflict. I want to read anything but the author describing a bedroom for three pages. I don't need to know the height of the ceiling, the exact hue of the wall paint, and the feel of the carpet beneath the character's feet during the first two pages of a book. That totally doesn't matter at all and there's so much time for you to come back and talk about that stuff in a way that won't feel forced. I'm trying to think of the last novel I had trouble reading... I know it was Stephen King, which is surprising because I usually really like him. I think it might have been Dreamcatcher. It was just, um, not good. I remember it started really well and I thought it was going to be an awesome book, but then it just.. wasn't. I don't even think I made it a fourth of the way through before I gave up on it. WTMR 3. Share some songs that remind you of your childhood. Aw, you guys know I love the music prompts. I just can't pass them up. I'm going to list three or four songs that remind me of my childhood and then I guess I'll talk about each one a little bit. 1. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones . I watched you suffer a dull, aching pain/Now you decided to show me the same. Ah, this song makes me so sad to hear. As I've gotten older, I've realized that not everyone loves the Stones as much as I do, which just feels weird to me. They were such a huge part of my childhood because all the adults around me loved them. This song reminds me of laying in bed at night, listening to music and looking out the window next to me.2. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd . We're just two lost souls/Swimming in a fish bowl/Year after year. This is one of Pink Floyd's most popular songs, but it so reminds me of being young. I just love the lyrics to this song. It always made me homesick, even when I was home.3. Black Dog by Led Zeppelin . Didn't take too long 'fore I found out/what people mean by down and out. My dad looooved Zeppelin when I was growing up. I think I heard this song more than any other song during my childhood. It's just so energetic, loud, and upbeat. Still one of my favorite songs to this day.4. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac . Thunder only happens when it's raining/Players only love you when they're playing/Say women they will come and they will go/When the rain washes you clean, you'll know. Before we had Beyonce sassing about 'all the single ladies', we had people like Stevie Nicks singing songs like "Dreams". The lyrics to this song are straight ice cold. I love it. If Zeppelin reminds me of Dad, Fleetwood Mac reminds me of Ma. She loved this band and listened to this song all the time in the car. So, it basically reminds me of being in the car now.I didn't include any of the old country songs from my youth that my grandparents listened to because it's just too soon to hear any of that stuff. I don't wanna get THAT sad today. Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night Running in the shadows Damn your love, damn your lies Break the silence Damn the dark, damn the light |
Artist: Tame Impala Album: Lonerism Song: Elephant [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Oh man, blogging two days in a row? Watch out. BLOG CITY: Why do people join groups and then not participate? Is it important to belong to a group for the sake of community whether you are active or not? What do you think is the reason for the non-participation? If your name was removed for non-participation would you inquire why or simply leave things as are? BCOF: Why do people join groups and then not participate? What do you think is the reason for the non-participation? I'm just going to answer these together because they're basically the same thing. Okay, so, I know anyone who runs groups on here wants to know the answer to this question. Honestly, I can see why people join groups and then don't participate on occasion. I've joined groups and not been very active in them. I try not to make a habit of it, but it does happen. Usually if I join a group and don't participate often, it's because the group isn't what I thought it was going to be. Like, the actual effort it would take to participate is higher than what I would get out of it or the group itself isn't as active as I thought it was. I do think there are legit reasons that people join groups and then don't participate. Maybe they join and participate for a while and then get into doing something else, so they aren't as active in the old groups anymore. That being said though, I wouldn't care at all if I was removed from a group that I wasn't active in. If there is a group I'm in that I'm not active in, I'm only still in it because I haven't thought about leaving or I don't want to hurt the leader's feelings. I know sometimes people get hard feelings when someone leaves their group, so it's easier to just stay in it and not participate than to join and leave, which risks rubbing them the wrong way. I wouldn't ask why I was removed from a group if I wasn't even active in it. I'd be like, "Oh, thanks for doing that so I don't have to." I will say one thing though. I don't have any groups, but if I did, I would NOT give people things for simply signing up to the group. Sorry, but I wouldn't. You haven't done anything. I don't except to get cNotes, MBs, reviews, awardicons, GPs for joining a group ever. If you want people to be rewarded for joining you group, give it like a month after they join up and then reward them if you want. Something simple like a cNote with some GPs attached saying that you appreciate their participation in the last few weeks and you're so happy to have them as part of the group. That's just my opinion. I know for a fact that people join up with groups because of the start up rewards and then have no interest in actually participating with the group. I'm almost certain they had no intention of doing anything with the group in the first place. MY question would be- why do people donate packages to auctions with no intention of filling them? I'm not having this issue, so that isn't a passive aggressive jab at anyone. It's really just a question. I've heard people complaining about it before and I just don't get it. Do they just want their name out there as though they're donating to things? I'm not sure. WTMR 4. Have you ever had a recurring dream? If so, what happened in it? Do you still have that dream now, or were you able to finally shake it? I have a lot of nightmares, so yeah, I've had recurring ones at times. I go through life phases where they're worse and then better for a while or almost nonexistent. Right now, I'm in a cycle of nightmares and it makes it super difficult to sleep at night. I won't say what they're about, but generally, nightmares just suck. I have a lot of school dreams now that I'm back in school. The most annoying are the ones where I have a huge paper or project due that I haven't even started on and it's due in like an hour. Then I wake up all freaked out and I'm like, 'oh fuck, this assignment!' I've gotten as far as getting online and checking my course calendar for a class before I realize that I was just dreaming and the assignment doesn't exist. This summer, like halfway through the semester, I had a dream that I had an entire course I was signed up to that I had done nothing for the first half of the semester. This would never happen because they'd drop you from the class by that point, but I was so convinced in my dream and woke up feeling anxious. Those dreams aren't that bad though. There are others which I'd call actual nightmares and I'm usually pretty happy if the extent of my bad dreams for a night are about nonexistent school assignments. Plus, you get to have that awesome moment of relief when you realize it was just a dream. WTMR 7. What is the most difficult life choice you have made that you are most proud of? The hardest decisions for me are ones that are going to change my life the most. So, like, going back to school after dropping out of high school at such a young age. That was a huuuge decision for me and didn't come 'naturally' at all. Like, when you finish high school, it makes sense to go to college right away and I know that a lot of people do that because it seems like the natural course of life. It's much different when you go back several years later and generally have forgotten every study skill and what it's like to sit in a classroom. Once I graduate, where I live will be a huge decision. I know Kira doesn't like it here and wants to move like super far away. I don't really know if I want to move away. I have a lot of people here that I care about and I'm not sure how I feel about moving somewhere where I don't know anyone. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it because I have 3 more years of school here. Maybe one of us will change our mind before that even comes up. I don't necessarily love it here, but I do have a lot of support here and I kind of like that. Of course, she doesn't have nearly as much as me, so I can understand her wanting to live somewhere else. You ahve to really think about stuff like that though because it will completely change the course of your life if you live like across the country from everyone you know vs. living in the same city as them. Well, he feels like an elephant Shaking his big grey trunk for the hell of it |
Artist: Jamie T Album: Carry on the Grudge Song: Zombie [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I totally forgot to take my medicine last night. It's like.. impossible for me to remember if I've taken it or not, but it's always better to skip than to double dose. I'm actually so forgetful that I can't even remember to get a pill separater thingy. Like, I've been trying to remember to get one for a month or so now. I forget every time I go to the store. I have one more week of school in this semester. I can't wait to be done. I don't know if I'm gong to do summer classes anymore. They're just.. too much. WTMR 1. Different people have different ideas of what is beautiful when it comes to the human body. How do you perceive physical beauty? This is an interesting question.. I'm not exactly sure how to answer it. I think a lot of people are attractive at least to some degree. I like unique looking people more than classically beautiful people. So like, the stereotypical hot person doesn't do much for me. Like.. yeah, you're good looking, but in such a boring way that you might as well not be. Let's see if I can find some examples of unique-looking people who I think are attractive. Well, first, I don't even have to think about... Macaulay Culkin  . I mean.. I am ridiculously  attracted  to Macaulay Culkin. I would do vile things.I'm actually into one of his brothers too.. Rory  . Like.. yes.It's just attractive when someone doesn't look like everyone else. So.. let's run through some: Edie Sedgwick  Shelley Duvall . Don't ask. It's just.. whatever.Tom Waits  Amanda Seyfried  I could probably go on forever. Unique, basically. WTMR 2. Are you the kind of friend you'd want to have as a friend yourself? Tell us about a time that someone was really there for you when you needed them -- have you had the chance to return the favour? I think I can be a really good friend and a really awful one. Would I want to be my own friend? Eh, tough call. I'm a super loyal friend. You can treat me like dick and I'll still be your friend. In that regard, I would want to be my friend. I'm an unconditional friend and that's extremely hard to find. On the other hand, my mood swings are off the chain. Like, super sweet one minute, super angry the next. I think I'd be super difficult to deal with as a friend so I don't really envy people who are friends with me. Although, as frustrating as it is to be around a super moody person, it's gotta be worse to be inside their head when it's bouncing all over the place. That's my excuse anyway. If I feel bad for the way I act, I just remind myself that I'm doing the best I can considering the circumstances. Yeah, cop out, whatever. I've had friends let me stay with them before when I didn't have anywhere else to go. That's a really nice thing for someone to do. I've not really done it myself, but I would if a friend needed somewhere to stay or something. I'd at least find a place for them to go so they wouldn't be homeless or anything. WTMR 3. Have you ever cried at a movie you were seeing in the theater? If so, do you remember what movie you were watching? Why did it make you cry? I haven't cried during any movies in theater, which is weird because I'm usually emotional. I guess my emotions don't function during movies because.. they're movies? I've seen sooo many movies where people cried though. Like Marley & Me with the dead dog and Click with the cancer guy or whatever. Like, everyone bawling their eyes out and I'm just awkwardly sitting there, like, checking my phone. The worst ever though was the Passion of the Christ where I was surrounded by a sold out theater of crying Bible thumpers. I was like twelve and saw it with a huge church group. The experience was just all around super creepy to me and I felt like I was watching gore porn or something. I remember thinking that Jesus had a really nice body and I kept trying to push the thought out of my head, but god damn. Anyway, the experience did nothing for me except push me further away from the religion. I mean, you don't have to try to traumatize people to get it through their head that all of this happened to Jesus. The majority of that movie was him being tortured and it was just disgusting. People were crying, like sobbing and hyperventilating all around me. I'm so glad I wasn't high for that. I would've really tripped out. BLOG CITY: What is your favorite work of art? I think I answered this before in my old blog, maybe, but I'll answer it again because I like talking about art. My favorite work of art is probably Christina's World  painted by Andrew Wyeth. It's just like.. poetry to me. I love the atmosphere of it. It's sort of scary and calming at the same time. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I like it.The woman depicted in the painting was Wyeth's neighbor at his summer home and she had polio. You can read more about it here . Plus, the summer home was in Maine, so yeah.  I'm a coal train, fast lane Caught up in the dirty rain No pain, no gain Walking like a zombie |
Artist: Say Anything Album: Say Anything Song: Hate Everyone [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I woke up with a blaring headache today, so I'll try to make this quick. BLOG CITY: Create a set of circumstances which a reasonable person would indeed cry over spilled milk. Congrats on 500 days, Blog City! That's awesome. I wanted to answer this one because I thought of a reasonable response right away. Say your car broke down in the desert and you were a father with your infant baby. You only have enough 8 oz. of water in the baby's bottle and two scoops of formula left. The sun is rising in the sky, getting hotter and hotter and the baby's crying. Just as you finish dumping the last scoop of formula into its bottle, you accidentally knock it off the hood of your car. Now you have no water, no formula, and no milk for the baby. Totally reasonable to start crying, in my opinion. WTMR 3. Do you tend to swear a lot? If so, what curse word(s) do you use the most? If you're not someone that swears a lot, do you substitute words like "shoot" or "fudge" instead? Anyone who knows me knows that I cuss a shit ton. I have no idea when that started, but I know it has been that way for a loooong time. My dad cussed a ton when I was growing up, so that was fairly normal to me. I know by the time I was a teenager, it was standard practice to tell people to shut the fuck up when they were getting on my nerves or whatever. My favorite curse word is fuck, by far. That's the one I say the most in all different forms. Those hard consonants are just amazing. I think the people in my life would slap me if I substituted cuss words with silly things like 'fudge', 'dagnabbit', 'gosh darn'. I actually can't even imagine saying something like that in front of people. It would be so goofy and out of character.People give curse words too much power. I have no idea how an adult can be offended by a word. No offense to those of you who read this and hate cussing, but I just don't get it. I mean, I won't do it in front of kids or anything like that. I won't do it in places where it would seem disrespectful or hostile. But if you're just hanging out having a conversation, I have no idea how saying 'fuck' could offend a grown ass adult. They're only bad because you guys deem them to be bad. WTMR 5. Do you generally consider yourself to be an optimist or a pessimist? Have you always been the same one, or has your viewpoint switched back and forth as time goes by? Oh, sort of a tough one for me. I think I'm almost equal with both, although I probably lean to the pessimistic side a bit more. I go from being extremely happy and chill to being a total wreck within minutes, so it's hard to pinpoint where my general mood lies. I'd say it's in between only because the highs are so high and the lows are so low that the mean has to be somewhere in the middle. My viewpoint has definitely changed. I was very optimistic as a kid. I was always overly emotional, but not necessarily in a bad way. I was super innocent and happy-go-lucky, really. I wanted to just go and do whatever. I was up for anything all the time. I was super imaginative and daydreamed a lot. I liked to draw and write. My cousin and I would hang out and write scary stories together. I definitely got more negative at some point. I lost that child-like innocent. No one can have it forever though. I'm pretty sure that's normal. Actually, I think that would be like a mental disorder if you were as naive as you were when you were a kid as an adult. Peter Pan Syndrome or whatever. WTMR 6. What specific aspect of your writing do you need/want to improve on? What are you doing to improve it? I've been trying to improve on my self-confidence with my poetry for a while now. I started with Give It 100, at Ky's urging, and now I'm doing "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" . I don't enter a lot of poetry contests around here because I know my style isn't very popular. Totally free verse and dark as fuck. I know that people like pretty things, and I don't blame them, I just can't write them. I don't have pretty thoughts. I don't see things and think flowery thoughts. It just doesn't happen, and I refuse to force it.Still, I've gotten more in the realm of normalcy with my poetry. I don't pick it apart anymore or spend hours trying to write one poem before scrapping the whole thing and pretending it never happened. I can easily write a poem in five minutes now and be generally okay with the turnout. I'm caring less and less what people think in terms of content and style. How someone might read my poetry and think 'negative, ugly, no rhyme', I look at poetry now and think 'boring, trite'. I've been working on reading poetry now and forming opinions about more than just the technicalities. I can see the difference between a good poem and one that needs a ton of improvement. I've been working a lot with poetry in general. It's a lot of fun. I was spat onto the earth in a stream of guts By mother nature, that green-eyed slut |
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie Album: Transatlanticism (Demos) Song: Tiny Vessels (Demo) [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I'm going to try to blog more. It used to come so naturally, but I've been so wrapped up in my head lately. It's hard to open my mouth (or type on a keyboard) without some sort of vague poetry coming out and that suffices me enough for the time being. Still, I should probably try to connect with other people because.. yeah.. It's weird ho we want a bad week to be over as if that actually means anything. It's like, oh thank god this week is coming to an end and then Monday rolls around and nothing changes. And why would it? That makes absolutely no sense, like 11:59pm Sunday says, "Ah, good job surviving this one. You win." and the rolls over a minute later into a completely different thing altogether. I mean, come on, so silly. On the other hand, I'm really liking "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" this month. I'm surprised to find that I can actually draw inspiration from random images, but I think it's going pretty well. Check out my entries over here and let me know what you think, "Invalid Item" WTMR 2. Name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. Why is it so egregious to you? What should happen to someone who does it? No matter what people say, there are things that are unforgivable. Sexual assault, for example, is completely unforgivable. There is nothing the offender can do that will ever make it okay. The best they can do for the victim is go open a vein and bleed out slowly and alone. There just aren't any excuses. I mean, I can even see where murder is understandable in some cases. You know, like if someone kidnapped and killed your kid and you wanted to murder them, I'd be all for it. I mean, it makes sense in my mind. Sexual assault though is completely selfish and never adds up to a comprehensible idea. You can do the math for as long as you want, but it's never going to add up in a way that makes you say, "Ah, okay, I understand where you're coming from." Why is it so egregious to me? I guess because it's like involving someone else in your sickness. Taking away someone's option of innocence and happiness. It's like playing god to me. You don't get to choose what happens, when it happens and who it happens with. It just sickens me completely. As far as what should happen to someone who does it.. well, this is complicated. If it weren't false accusations and wrongful convictions, this would be easy. If it can be proved beyond a reasonable doubt and there is physical evidence and you have an admitted offender, they should just be shot in the back of the head. I mean, just be done with it. They don't get any better. Don't waste time and money on trying to rehabilitate a lost cause. I don't typically condone the death penalty at all, but that's one case where I'm totally cool with it. BCOF: "For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." - Vincent Van Gogh Prompt: What does the sight of stars do to you? The stars are poetic. I love sitting outside and night and thinking of poetry as I look up at the sky. I usually don't write it down at the time, sometimes I'll just think of it and then let it slip away and nothing ever becomes of it. There's something awesome about a clear night sky though, especially once you get away from light pollution. If you're out in the country and you can see all the different colors, stars, and constellations.. there's nothing cooler than that. Blog City: How do you think fear and courage are related? Does fear provide the opportunity for courage? Or is courage an entity on its own without the catalyst of fear? I think both have to be present for it to really work. I mean, it's not exactly courageous if you're not overcoming some sort of fear or drawback. By definition, you pretty much need fear to be considered courageous. I think courage comes about when people get sick of living in fear. There's usually a time period before the courage where the person allows fear to control them. Eventually, they'll get sick of it and refuse to live like that anymore. That's when the courage comes out. So, yes, I do think that fear provides a platform for courage. WTMR 7. When was the last time you saw an ocean? Which one was it and why were you there? If you've never been to the ocean, is it on your list of things to see? It has been a really long time since I've seen the ocean. When I lived in the south, I would go to the beach regularly, at least a few times a month because I lived like half an hour away. Being pretty much landlocked now, I don't really have the opportunity to see the beach without taking a long vacation and traveling there. When I do think about going on trips, it's mostly to places that aren't near the beach too. I've thought about going back home recently and seeing some people I used to know. My memories are haunting me now that I've grown up and I'm less naive. I almost feel like I need explanations from people, which almost undoubtedly is a bad idea. We also think about going to visit Kira's parents sometimes. They live like an hour and a half from the ocean. We might go there for Christmas this year. She wants to anyway, so we probably will do that, but I doubt we'll go to the ocean then either. I'd like to go out to California and go to the ocean because the Pacific is so nice there. Kira has family out there too because that's where she's originally from. Her family always tells us that we can stay with them if we want to come out for a visit, but I think it would be kind of weird to go see her extended family out there instead of her immediate family in Texas. Maybe we'll do that next year though. So one last touch and then you'll go And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap. And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. |
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie Album: Transatlanticism Demos Song: We Looked Like Giants (Demo) [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics To say that it has been a rough week would be an understatement. It's been emotionally draining and tiring. I don't even feel connected to my body anymore. I feel like my mind's in a different world entirely. I have so much to do with work and school, but I can't convince myself to actually do any of it. I've spent a lot of time just laying in bed and listening to music this week. I've got to get back to work today though. It's pretty desperate. I hope I can just have a mellow weekend. I don't have much left to give it. I'm about to just close up entirely because I'm so drained. I'm empty. WTMR 1. When I look around and compare the world today with the one I grew up in I can't help at marvel at all of the changes. What do you think are the biggest changes that have occurred so far in your lifetime and how do you feel about them. Technology, definitely. People didn't start getting cell phones regularly in my area until I was at least 14 or so. After that, it really started going crazy. I'd say the last 10 years have been a huge spike in technology. People went from having a bulky cell phone that only made calls to having literally everything at the tip of their fingers. The biggest difference I notice, and I don't know why this is the biggest, but I notice that you can't ever have a debate anymore. Like, there are no debates. Nuh-uh, watermelons are not a berry! Yes, they are, I can prove it! And then someone just pulls out their phone and they google it. So any debate that happens only lasts like thirty-five seconds. I remember being a kid and trying to figure things out, like what a word meant, and my grandmother had this huge red dictionary. I'd run and go get it from the spare bedroom and barely be able to lift it as I searched through thousands of pages to find this one word. It's more satisfactory that way, somehow. Like, now, all you have to do is pull out your phone and google it, which is nice, but I hardly ever remember the fact/word/definition that I googled. I think my mind just knows that if it ever comes up again, I'll google it again and be done with it. My brain retains nothing. WTMR 2. What piece of advice do you wish you had been given as a child or young adult and why? When I think of this question, it's more in terms of things I wish I had listened to as a kid. I mean, I had tons of advice. "Don't do this, don't do that." I just didn't listen to anything. I wish that I understood how little I mattered to everyone else. It's a stunning epiphany when we realize that we are only the centers of our own universe and that no one thinks of us the way we think of ourselves. I didn't understand that before I got out on my own. I was so young and naive. I just thought that I would always get my way because.. I don't know. Because I'm sweet? Because I usually have good intentions? Oh, god, that's a big one. I wish someone had told me that just being good does not equal being treated well. You can be as sweet and thoughtful as you want. There's always going to be someone to kick you when you're down, to step over you to get ahead. It's sad, but true, and the sooner you learn that in life, the better it is. I don't think I was super spoiled as a kid either.. It's just like an equation that you think adds up, but then you get out in the world and you find out it doesn't. Like treat people well = be treated well. No, that's not right. WTMR 5. What literary character are you most like and why? What is it that you relate to most about that character. I've been told that I act like Holden Caulfield from The Catcher and The Rye. Sorry, let me rephrase that. I've been told that I act like the 'little bitch from The Catcher and The Rye." I think that's because I used to be really whiny when I was younger. Like, I would complain about everything to everyone and I had no tact at all either. I was honest with people, but I did it in the most straightforward ways. I didn't really know how to handle my emotions so if someone upset me, I'd be like, "Just piss off. I don't like you right now." I think I've learned to be more tactful since then though. Now I'll be like, "I need some space", which is such a better thing to say. But then when I was in middle school, all these people were reading this book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. They started telling me I was JUST like the main character and his name was Charlie too. I ended up never reading the book because I got so annoyed with people telling me that I was like the main character. I figured it was just because we had the same name so people were connecting me with the book for some reason. It was really annoying. I'll probably never read the book. As far as who I think I act like.. I'm actually not really sure. I don't think I've ever read a book and thought, Oh yeah, I'm just like that character! That would just be weird to me, like to reflect yourself onto the character in a book. I guess I've never thought to do it.. I mean, I can relate to certain characters more than others, but I don't really think I'm like them. WTMR 6. Pick one of your writing projects and create a soundtrack/play list of songs for it. Oh, this sounds like fun. I'm doing "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" right now. I've only done ten days so it's the perfect project to create a soundtrack for right now. So.. let's do this:1. "Invalid Entry" I didn't really know what to do with this one because it's the only story in the bunch. I'm gonna go with Frontier Psychiatrist by The Avalanches because it's a psychological story.2. "Invalid Entry" Okay, now we're into the poetry. I have the perfect song for this one. Radiohead- How to Disappear Completely. It couldn't fit any better!3. "Invalid Entry" This is one is about being in weird public situations while you're high, so... Sister Morphine by The Rolling Stones. 4. "Invalid Entry" {x-link:}We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel{/x-link}, because why not?5. "Invalid Entry" Oh, I know a good one for this! {x-link:}Hey by the Pixies{/x-link} because the word 'chained' just reminds me of this song.6. "Invalid Entry" The formatting got fucked up on this one. I need to fix it because it's so confusing right now. Let's see, what song could go with this.. how about 20th Century Boy by T. Rex. This song is so awesome.7. "Invalid Entry" Similar names going on here, but they were similar prompts, in my defense. Ohh, this so works. Fire by Jimi Hendrix . Yup, perfect.8. "Invalid Entry" Okay, the one I had no idea what to do with.. How about Lua by Bright Eyes ? Works for me..9. "Invalid Entry" My favorite poem of the competition so far. I hated this poem at first, but I really needed to say it. Jesus Christ by Brand New . This problem's gonna last more than the weekend.10. "Invalid Entry" And most recently.. I wrote this poem in three minutes this morning because I didn't want my entry to be late. It's about feeling small. Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin because I want to make you all sad as you go on with the rest of your day.  WTMR 7. a) What/Who has inspired you recently. Tell us how and why. b) Who/What have you inspired recently. Tell us who and why. Okay, we're almost done. Keep reading... A) Everything inspires me all the time. I've been doing "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" this month, so I'm actually learning how to use image prompts and turn them into something creative, which I've never done before. Usually images do nothing for me. That's how I am in life though. I need to be given no choice before I can do something.Cinn is pretty much a constant source of inspiration to me. Both because we write together a lot and because she gets me to join a lot of activities that I normally wouldn't join. As long as I'm writing, she'll probably be an inspiration.I've also been listening to a lot of music lately.. as always.. That proves to be a good inspiration. It can put me in the right mindset to get creative and sort of take me out of the daily monotony of life. B) I think I've been the inspiration of a few poems this week- or at least I think I have been. The authors told me I was the inspiration anyway, and that would be a weird thing to lie about. There was Elle - on hiatus 's poem:
That one really made me think a lot. You know when you're not sure how you're viewed by other people and then you sort of find out? It felt like that. It's really good. Then there were a couple by Cinn :"Winner of the Prize" , which is hilarious and:
That one means a lot to me too. I think that's all the inspiring I've done lately!  I've been hanging out in chat a lot lately. You can get in there by going to "Writing.com Tools" on the lefthand side of the screen and then just click "Chat". It's fun in there to just hang out and half-chat while doing homework or whatever. If you get bored, there's like a 75% chance I'll be in there!God damn the black night with all its foul temptations; I've become what I always hated when I was with you then. |
Artist: Maxïmo Park Album: Our Earthly Pleasures Song: Books From Boxes [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Motherfuck, I did it again!  Yup, all five prompts in one entry for "Invalid Item" . Next week though... psh, yea right..WTMR 2. Tell us what your favourite part of summer is and why. Alright, let's try to get into this. I'm not really feeling the blogging thing today, but I can't wait for the August camping trip at "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . I really want to get back into blogging; it's just hard to do when you're doing other stuff on the site. Plus, I always end up doing my one entry on Saturday and I'm pretty sure no one reads blogs on Saturdays. That's always been my blogging theory and I'm sticking to it!I fucking love summer. I love the heat, the storms, and the sun. I like being able to run outside to check the mail or have a smoke in just shorts. It seriously takes so long to get ready during the winter. It's like, pile on ten layers to go out and then do a slow strip tease throughout the day because every place you go has their heat up to like 80 degrees. Total overcompensation. They do it during the summer too. Oh, it's 90 degrees out? Better make it 60 in here... Everything's just dead in the winter. It's like, sad and lonely. Just grey nothingness for months. I've never been a fan of winter, in case you can't tell. I actually loved the southern winters just because it's like 70 degrees in December. You don't get the fall and spring though, so it's definitely a trade off. You never get used to cold weather though. If you don't like it, you'll never be like, "cool, it's ten degrees out and that doesn't bother me at all!"  WTMR 3. Find a quote that you love, but one that you have never heard before. What does it mean to you? Aw, I'm a total quote whore. It's gonna be hard to find one that I like but haven't read yet. Let me look though because I like going through quotes anyway. I actually do this when I want a new book to read. I'll search book quotes and find one that stands out to me and makes me want to read the book. I found a quote by Henry James from The Portrait of a Lady that I like and now I want to read the book. It's: “Her imagination was by habit ridiculously active; when the door was not open it jumped out the window.” I love that. It's that sort of creativity that can't be stopped. I'm sure we all experience that every once in a while as writers, or at least I hope we all do. I also LOVE Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson has some of the best quotes I've ever read. A lot of it is funny and lighthearted, but also poignant and I love that so much in a writer. I used to read Calvin and Hobbes a lot when I was a kid. Here are a few of my favorite quotes, although it has nothing to do with this prompt:  That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria! There’s an inverse relationship between how good something is for you, and how much fun it is. As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations. I pray for the strength to change what I can, the in ability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference. It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.WTMR 4. List your top 10 reasons for writing. 1. It's fun. Seriously, if I didn't enjoy writing, I wouldn't do it. Sometimes I have to force it a little bit, but I still enjoy it once I get into it. You should never spend your time on a hobby that you don't enjoy. 2. I get to meet people. Hello, WDC? If we didn't write, we would've never congregated here and you wouldn't be reading my blog right now. Imagine how horrible and sad you would be if you didn't know me? 3. Stress release. It's nice to unwind by writing a poem and getting something off your chest, especially when it's something that's really bothering you and the finished product doesn't give away exactly what's going on. 4. I like to create. Sometimes it's just nice to create something that wasn't there before. It's like a musician making music or an artist painting. 5. Never bored. Writing makes it to where I can never be bored. I can hardly remember a time I was bored. I definitely can't off the top of my head without really thinking about it. Even in a boring lecture, I'll just start writing poetry about the room and the situation. 6. Makes life easier. Being able to write just makes life easier in general. I've sent emails off at work and gotten responses about how 'eloquently' something was worded. That's natural to a writer. 7. Girlies like it. Hey, I'm a sweet and sensitive poet. {b]8. Reading is better. Reading as a writer is different than reading as a reader. I don't care what anyone says. This is just a fact! 9. Conversation starter. As an avid writer/reader, there's always an icebreaker waiting around the corner. Plus, writers are creative. We can think of something interesting at the drop of a hat because we're curious creatures by nature. 10. Don't need anyone. While meeting other writers and all that is awesome, you don't need anyone else to help out with your hobby. You can lock yourself up and write the day away. Imagine if your hobby was, like, football. You'd need to get so many people together to do it. WTMR 5. Time for a personal inventory. List your areas of strength and weakness. Discuss how you developed those strengths. What can you do to turn those weaknesses into strengths? How do you feel about them, are they are source of pride or embarrassment why or why not? God damn, I feel like I've been writing this entry forever and I still have two more prompts? I don't really know about many of my strengths. I think I tend to get along with people okay, but it all depends on the setting. I seem to rub people the wrong way when they first meet me, or I'm told that often by people who end up loving me later. People tell me that I seem stuck-up on first impression, which kinda sucks because I don't really see myself like that. I think I'm sorta the opposite, actually. One strength for sure is that I'm true to my word. I don't commit to something where others depend on me without following through. If someone asks me to help them move six months from now, I'll be there six months from now to help them out. I'm sort of loyal like that. As I've said before, I'm basically a dog. I'm friendly and loyal. Nice. I definitely have some serious weaknesses. My emotions can be pretty over-the-top so it isn't uncommon for me to briefly lose my shit before half-regaining it and apologizing. I think my medication is helping level that out some now. I haven't had many incidents lately. As I've tried to explain it to the people around me, I feel things on a deeper level than is 'normal' or even rational. If a normal person would be slightly upset, my feelings are probably going to be deeply hurt by the same thing. If a rational person might feel just a touch betrayed, you are my Judas. WTMR 7. List your top ten songs of all time (add youtube links to share with your readers if you like) and what it is about the song or artist that you love so much. I don't have a top ten songs of all time, but I just couldn't pass up a music prompt, of course. Instead, I'm just going to make a list of music I want to force other people to listen to. Sharing is caring!  "Spiritual Cramp" by Christian Death. Let's kick this off right with some goth music. "I Need My Girl" by The National. This band is just chill. Perfect for doing homework. "Simple As This" by Jake Bugg. If you only check out one song on the list, let it be this one. This kid is 21 and sounds way beyond his years. "Ask For Answers" by Placebo. Nothing much to say about this one. You either don't know Placebo or you know them and love them... or.. you're crazy. "Svefn-g-englar" by Sigur Rós. You trust me? Just give it a listen. "Winter Song" by The Head and The Heart. This song is so sweet. I know- such a romantic.  "8" by Sunny Day Real Estate. I wasn't expected to make a playlist without them, right? "Vapour Trail" by Ride. This band makes me wanna sex. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dogs. "Post Break-Up Sex" by The Vaccines. Funny and catchy. "Cosmic Dancer" by T. Rex. I'll never not love T. Rex. This is something new; but it turns out it was borrowed, too. Why does every letdown have to be so thin? |
Artist: Marcy Playground Song: Comin' Up From Behind [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics I did it again. I waited until the end and now I have to post everything together and make this one super epic long entry for the week. Hey, guess what! I signed up for "30 Day Image Prompt Contest - CLOSED" . I've never done it before, but it looks like fun. It starts on the 1st of July, so all you GoT people can relax and get back to writing your OWN stuff instead of reviewing other people's stuff. I think it'll be a good transition for people.WTMR 1. If you were given the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Why or why not? I deffo wouldn't want to live forever and I don't think anyone else really wants to either. I mean, maybe if we could freeze ourselves in a healthy, happy, attractive state and never develop any diseases or health issues- it might be alright. More so than living forever, I'd just want to live a reasonable amount of time and be healthy up until whenever I die. I'd rather have 70 healthy years than an eternity of illness. I get freaked out sometimes because I'm only 23 and I have like 5 prescriptions to take a day. Can you imagine me when I'm, like, sixty? I'll have 15-20 prescriptions to take a day if I keep going at this rate. I won't even be able to fit them all in a basic pill box. Now I'm just picturing myself in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank dragging along a gigantic garbage bag full of pills that I have to take every day in order to feel somewhat normal and healthy. How did this prompt even go in the direction it did?Basically, no, I don't want to live forever. I want to be reasonably healthy for as long as possible though, as I'm sure everyone else does too. I don't want to live for years and years in a state of terrible health in a nursing home or something- but I don't really worry about that kind of thing right now. I think I have enough time to relax until that day comes and deal with it then. What's the saying? "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." WTMR 3. What have you learned from doing things you don't like or want to do? There are a lot of things in life I just don't want to fucking do. I don't want to work. Sometimes I don't want to go to school. I basically just want to lay around writing and watching movies all day. I mean, that's 'the dream', right? I've learned that keeping a good attitude helps you get through things you don't want to do. I seriously struggle with this more than anyone I know though. If I don't want to do something, it's really difficult for me to force myself into it. Once my brain tells itself, "fuck that, I'm not doing it." I can't fix it and I'll just get more and more frustrated trying to stay positive. Once I get irritated, I almost always start getting a headache and then I can't be very productive either way. This is definitely something I'd like to change about myself. I've found that when I'm able to stay optimistic, I can get through whatever it is so much more quickly and feel overall okay about it along the way. Maybe this is something that just comes with age and I haven't hit the point where I can consistently accept that I have to do things I don't want to do without getting frustrated or annoyed with it. Maybe it's something that some people never learn. I know a lot of older people who hate their jobs and it puts them in a bad mood like every day. I definitely don't want to be like that because it's no way to live, so I hope that I'll find a somewhat reasonable job after college. WTMR 4. Up to this point in time what has been the biggest life lesson you have learned. Tell us about it. Ah, life lessons, we never stop learning them, right? I think the biggest life lesson I've learned is that I am not the center of everyone's universe. I don't get to do whatever I want whenever I want and expect the people around me to just adjust to my style without bitching at me or going away. I think it's so important that people understand how small and insignificant they are in the big picture. Not because it sounds like a fun, depressing activity for a rainy day, but because our pride gets in the way of so much throughout life. We need to humble ourselves and understand that just because we have a specific opinion doesn't mean that it's the right opinion or that random strangers should understand how complicated our lives are and just stay out the way. That's why I love this quote by Bukowski: “We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” -Charles Bukowski We all just see each other as an inconvenience all the time and we're too proud to admit that we're nothing. I don't know if it's the biggest life lesson I've learned- but it is my favorite. The ability to apologize freely and admit that I'm not perfect and accuse you of the same... it's just important. WTMR 5. What were your favourite books growing up? Why? I was IN LOVE with R.L. Stine books growing up. I started with the Goosebump books when I was probably seven or eight and then I worked my way up to the Fear Street series. I was always a fan of horror everything. I watched horror movies, read horror stories, and wrote horror stories. If it hadn't been for reading R.L. Stine so much as a kid, I probably wouldn't have started writing creatively so early in life. After I started reading his Goosebumps series and understanding the way they were written and how they worked, I remember thinking, "Hey, I could probably do this!" So that's what I did. I started writing short horror stories because that's what I was interested in at the time. My cousin and I would write them together. We'd have two stories going at the same time in two different notebooks and we'd each write a page and then switch off notebooks and continue the story. I got so nostalgic about the Fear Street series a year or so ago that I bought the entire series for like 40 bucks on Ebay. It was definitely worth it to me. I got to reread some of the books from my childhood. I've only read four or five of them since I got them, but I have them all on the bookshelf and when I get a couple hours of time, I can easily knock one out. If you've read them, you know what an easy read they are, even for a slow reader like myself. Aw man, now I wanna go read one! WTMR 6. Intuition is something we all have to some degree or another. Do you listen to yours, why or why not? If I have any instinct telling me that something is a bad idea, I listen to it. Some people take it overboard and end up having a 'bad feeling' about everything. My aunt is like that. She has lived in probably 10 different houses since I was a kid and she claims that every single one of them is haunted. I don't really believe in ghosts much, but I do believe in the power of the human mind. I believe that we can create anything we want and truly believe in it. My aunt once even claimed that a house was haunted that was a new build- no one had ever lived there before. She claimed that the land the house was on must have been haunted so the ghosts moved into the house when it was built because their old house had been torn down. Sometimes though, you do just have an intuition about something and whenever this topic comes up between me and someone I know, I always suggest that they listen to it. I notice it occurring most often about a person. You know, you meet someone and something just seems off. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but you have this feeling in your stomach like they could be dangerous or something. I've lived long enough to know that you should always always ALWAYS listen to that voice when it tells you that someone or some situation is sketchy. Just get out of there. You're better safe than sorry. Any time I haven't listened to that little voice in my head, I've regretted it. It has ended badly every single time. If someone or something gives me a bad vibe, I'm out. I don't care how rude it looks. That's one time when you should put yourself above others. Your safety is more important than their feelings. She's an eight ball, She's rollin faster than a white wall, She's got an avalanche packed into a snowball, She's a losin all the links, She's like a stonewall, She's loaded up |
Artist: The Shins Album: Wincing the Night Away Song: Spilt Needles [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Don't you love when you save something for the very last day and then you do it all at once in a hurry? Yeah, me neither. Okay, let's go... WTMR 2. What are your opinions on cheating? Ha, isn't that the million dollar question? Well, there are different kinds of cheating. I think that once you get into college, it's a mistake on your part to cheat. You can't cheat on tests because most of them are taken in class with a professor or proctored. You might as well learn the material as you go along rather than cheat the whole way and fail the midterm and final, especially because those two tests are usually worth enough combined to make you fail the course if you fail them. I used to cheat in high school and middle school because I didn't want to get in trouble for getting bad grades, but I was too lazy to go to class and do the homework. There was always someone around who'd let you copy their work and then on the tests, I'd just get the answers from someone who took the test earlier in the day- yes, they gave the same tests to every class for years. I'd write the answers on my shoes. I wore Chucks  , so I'd write a/b/c/d and the number right there on that white part with the black stripe going through it. When I was actually taking the test, I'd sit with one foot in the chair with me and the other on the ground so I could look down and just copy off my shoe.Obviously I don't do stuff like that anymore. This was when I was a kid trying to get out of doing any actual work. Then, of course, you have cheating in relationships, which is something different entirely. This is my rule of thumb: If it's not your relationship, don't worry about what's going on it. Shit's complicated. Life isn't like a Nicholas Sparks movie, eh, Fivesixer ? But for real, people expect love and relationships to be handed to them in a tight, neatly wrapped package and that's not the way it works.Worst of all, the longer you're with someone, the higher chances of things turning into a gigantic clusterfuck. That's why I don't judge people's relationships. I mean, if someone's getting abused in it, then yeah, do what you can to help them out, obviously. If it's your friend's relationship though and they know they've gotten cheated on or they're cheating on someone, just stay the fuck out of it. I can't stand it when people try to implement their morals into my relationships. It's so easy to judge that sort of thing when you've never had any involvement in it. Here's another thing- the longer you're with someone, the harder it's gonna be to drop 'em like they're hot if they cheat on you. I see that all the time where someone is still with the person who cheated on them and random people who aren't involved at all are like, "PSHHHHH, I would never be with someone who cheated on me. Nuh-uh. No way. They'd be out the door so fast their head would spin!" Riiiiiiight, because it's so easy to leave someone whose life is entirely intertwined with yours. You're gonna for sure move out, get a divorce, have your kids split their time with their parents, and take on a second job to pay bills because your husband got head one time. Speaking from experience, it just doesn't work that way. So.. basically, with all things related to cheating- do at your own risk. WTMR 3. What does the word honour mean to you? What is your personal code of honour and give us an example of how this comes into play in your life. Oh look! Something I've literally never thought about before. Let's see... To me, honor has to do with being honest and respectable. It also makes me think about the honor system that small businesses do sometimes where they're like, "Oh, books are a dollar each. Put the money in the jar" with no one sitting around to make sure that you don't run off with their merchandise. I guess it's sort of about trust and doing the right thing. I don't think I have a personal honor code though, just like I don't really have a moral compass. It takes me forever to even figure out why something is unethical when I'm doing a business or ethics class. I really have to think about it and ask the people around me before I fully understand why something is 'bad' to do most of the time. Even then, I still don't understand half the time and I just write down what someone told me would be immoral or unethical about the situation. I do try to treat people well, though.. I think. I mean, I at least try to think of other people's needs on top of my own. I guess I probably put myself first a lot of the time, but I also help people out when it's reasonable for me to. I don't really feel bad if I don't help someone though. It all depends on what fits into my schedule and what doesn't. My brother isn't like that. He'll drop everything he's doing to hang out with any of his friends/family if they ask him to come hang out. Sometimes he asks how I get so much work and homework done and I just tell him that when someone asks me to do something, I tell them to piss off and stop bothering me. WTMR 5. Tell about someone you've lost contact with. Would you want to reconnect? Why or why not? I've pretty much lost contact with the cousin I grew up with and spent a large part of my childhood with. I would go to his house over the summers and spend a couple months there with my aunt and uncle and other cousins. Actually, I've lost contact with all of my friends from back home. People who I thought I was closer to than I actually was. It's funny because you don't realize that sort of thing until you grow up and move away. It sort of puts things in perspective like, I don't even think I liked that person that much... For a while after I moved, I tried to keep in contact with some of them. I even went back to see them a few times, probably because I felt nostalgic at the time and wanted some sort of closure. I guess I wanted to know that I wasn't missing anything. It probably sounds terrible, but I only felt fully satisfied after I went back years later and they were all doing the same things that they were doing when I was 14 and hanging out with them. It was like.. add 40 pounds of alcohol-induced weight and a smoker's cough. Those were the only differences in like seven years. I guess to answer the question- no, I don't want to reconnect with anyone from my past. I changed my number a few years ago so that no exes could contact me. I started seeing how ridiculous it was to get a drunken call at 3 in the morning from someone I'd dated when I was 13. I mean, what's the point? Who even cares? When I changed my number, I only gave it to a few people other than family, just one friend from back home and a few from where I live now. No one else needed it, I figured, and I was totally right. I don't miss the drunken texts about 'that one night' back in 'ninth grade' when I was a 'total dick' at 'some party'. WTMR 6. Do you believe in fate or destiny? Do you believe some things in life are pre-determined? Honestly? I'm gonna be a downer probably because I totally don't believe in fate or destiny. I think that we have the free will to make choice's in life and we'll go different directions depending on which choices we make. If I decide to change my major to biology, that isn't fate or destiny pushing me that way. It's my brain telling itself that it wants to do something different than what I'm doing. There would be logical thoughts and reasonings behind that decision. It's the same with love. There are no soulmates. There isn't one person that you've been destined to be with since birth. I mean, come on, there are sooo many fucking people in the world. How could it be that people magically find their soulmate and get married? This is doubly true for people who marry like their high school sweetheart or something. Yes, it just so happens that out of all the people in the world, your soulmate was in fifth period study hall junior year at your Podunk school. I don't know, I guess I just prefer to believe in free choice to alter our paths. I definitely don't think that anyone is specifically destined to die in a car accident when they're 17 on the way to school. It's just bad luck, random chance that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. People might tell themselves other things so they can feel better about someone dying from a completely random, avoidable incidence, but in my opinion, it's just that- coincidence. My ma believes that everything in life is pre-determined.. like... everything. That was always fun growing up. "But, Ma! It was destiny for me to go to this party and get shitfaced drunk! I saw it in the stars!"  WTMR 7. Describe a room in your house. Not just the furnishings, but your personal impact on that room too. Is your fridge covered in Writing.com magnets and kids' drawings? Is there a red drink stain on the lounge carpet that is carefully hidden by an armchair? Share a little of your daily surroundings with us. I live in an apartment, which is sort of living in someone's past home and someone's future home in that nothing feels like it belongs to you. These walls are not my walls. The doors aren't my doors. A year ago, they were someone else's doors and a year from now, they'll be yet another person's doors. The feeling of 'home' never really sinks in because I move around often enough that I'm never truly 'settled'. In fact, this year will be the first year that I haven't moved at least once in the last eight years. Some of those years, I bounced around like a slinky. Others, I only moved once or twice. I love moving though. I mean, I hate the actual act of moving, but I like change and newness. Things get mundane after a while. I don't know how people live in the same house for thirty years. I guess they move the furniture a lot. My favorite room in my house is actually not a room. It's a balcony that's the size of a room. Everyone that sees my balcony does the 'both arms out walking around thing' saying, "Wow, this is so big! I've never seen such a big balcony before!" It's literally bigger than the dining room.I just like to be outside. I like the weathered boards of the balcony that are faded where the sun hits most often. I like the rattling white railing that would probably fall if you put too much weight on it. I like looking through the slats in the boards while my neighbor waters her plants. I watch people out on the street, walking their dogs or just having a smoke. I've written a lot out on the balcony and done a lot of homework out there too. I'll probably miss that when I move. I'll find myself another burning gate A pretty face, a vague idea I can't relate |
Artist: Bleachers Album: Strange Desire Song: I Wanna Get Better [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Lyrics Happy Sunday!  WTMR 1. Watch this video (less than five minutes) and write a blog entry inspired by what you saw/felt. http://30-years.dailymegabyte.com/ex-lovers-meet-each-other-after-30-years/ Awwwww, this is totes adorbs. Seriously though, cute video. I couldn't help but thinking that I'd burst out laughing if I had to sit in silence and stare at someone for a full minute. I mean, I was laughing just watching other people do it. On top of that, who the fuck breaks up like that? They walked toward each other on the Great Wall of China until they met in the middle, then just hugged and went away for 30 years? Damn. Their breakups are all artistic and shit. Pretty sure one of my exes would've just thrown me off the Great Wall when we met in the center. Where are the broken plates? The slamming doors? The neighbor screaming that they're calling the ambulance? Come on. Most anticlimactic break up ever.I wonder if they caught up after and got some tea or something. I bet they just parted ways and they'll meet again 30 years from now in an old folks home while playing bingo. D'awww. Then Nicholas Sparks can write a book about it and call it "The Wall" and every girl ever will force her significant other to watch the two hour long movie version. I'm a romantic; I swear! I just have trouble being romantic with other people's relationships, which... I think is good thing? Like, I shouldn't feel romantically attached to this couple, right? I think it's sweet in the same way that a firefighter helping a cat from a tree is sweet. It's cute in that totally inconsequential sort of way. WTMR 7. How do you manage your stress? I'm notoriously bad at handling stress. Usually I'll just get a migraine and lay in bed for a few days. I think I'm getting slowly better at dealing with stress though. I don't automatically run off and do something stupid every time I'm stressed out or upset. I feel more rational usually and I can reason through things that matter and things that don't matter at all. There are always slip ups though- total freakouts and whatnot, but for the most part it's all good, and that's a huge improvement. Let me think of some healthy things I do to manage stress. Oh, I've started making lists more often. Not necessarily written lists, but at least mental ones of things that I need to do and I prioritize the list so that I'm not wasting time doing something that is less important than something else. If I get too stressed out now, I'll just start working on my homework or something that gets my mind off of whatever is stressing me out. I think keeping busy is key, even if busyness is what's stressing you out in the first place. There's nothing worse than being stressed out on a tight schedule and accomplishing nothing because you're so stressed out. If work is stressing me out, I go do homework. If homework is stressing me out, I go do work and then I just go back to the original thing later once I've calmed down. I definitely have the issue of getting angry when I'm stressed out. I feel extremely irritable and frustrated when I'm stressed out. That's why I've learned to stop doing the task and hand and just step back before I get to that point where I'm totally lashing out and being stupid. I dunno. My stress management is a work in progress. I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change |
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I'm still so confused. How did they get to senior-level finance with so little know-how. I don't get it. 
Just why. It's so gross. We need to get you some personal finance help! This is only tangentially related and not a statement on you, but one of the nonprofits I work with consists of me making budget plans for people who were recently homeless and have just gotten back on their feet. A lot of the people I work with have only been at their job for less than a month or been in an apartment for a week or two. My role is to gather all of their financial information and then consult with them on their bills, disposable income, purchases, and stuff like that. It's shocking to see the financial decisions people make after just being homeless. I'm like, dude, you were just homeless 2 weeks ago. 
I have seen so much of the disasters it has caused with some people. I have in the past been unconsciously roped into financial situations that were most unpleasant and having to make sensible plans to unravel them.