After recovering from a small bout of depression, I'm back again to talk about first world problems, make fun of my ridiculousness, and find a place where I can just be me.
I had to learn how to be independent. Open-mindedness sounds great ...and it is ... until you realize what that really means ... as you so astutely point out.
I couldn't handle 400 or even 10. 5 is enough, sayeth the Queen.
I had to learn how to be independent. Open-mindedness sounds great ...and it is ... until you realize what that really means ... as you so astutely point out.
I couldn't handle 400 or even 10. 5 is enough, sayeth the Queen.
You never age out of depression because it changes with you as you get older. So you need to constantly find new ways of dealing/coping/battling (pick your word) with it. I find that it is a choice to be happy, but it's not the choice people think it is when they say "depression is a choice." The choice is in deciding what to do about it. We can say "I'm depressed and so I'm never going to do anything and it's better if I just admit that I'm a huge failure" or we can say "I struggle with depression but there are things I can do to make the struggle easier," while acknowledging not every day is going to be rainbows and unicorns and the struggle will always be there. I think that's the problem with depression and people and even therapy. A lot of people think there's a cure, or a cure-all situation and one day they'll wake up and everything will be ok. People aren't willing to accept that life includes struggle.
This pandemic is hard on many people with mental illness. I spent about a week and a half unable to get out of bed right around the middle of our lockdown.
One of my coping skills was traveling ... which is why I live in two rooms instead of a cottage with a cat, a dog and a garden ... which would be another way for me to cope. I haven't figured out any way to have both.
I'm not doing well. Meds? Due to head injuries I can't take Welbutrin. Xanax didn't work well. Paxil helped until I was suicidal. Proper meds can be an issue.
I remember thinking I'd have acne forever ... but I didn't.
I really like the way you look at this. I also lost nearly all of my childhood things and was down to only what could fit in a backpack. I totally get the pride thing, but I get the sadness too. I'm terrible about buying things for myself because I have that "what's the point" feeling, even though there's really nothing to keep me from keeping my belongings now.
That's a really nice story about your grandfather. He was clearly listening all along and went out of his way to do right by your interests. Thanks for sharing that.
Preach! We're all gonna look like a hot mess express for a little while. It's a sacrifice in the interest of ourselves and of others. The divide between Trump supporters and non has never been more apparent than it is now and it's unbearable. I have family who are Trump supporters and absolutely refuse to acknowledge the pandemic in any way. As soon as restaurants and stuff opened up in their respective locations, they immediately ran out even though some of them are older and high risk with underlying health conditions.
I'm worried right there with you. I wish we had leaders in power who were less divisive.
This is so well written. The piece catches me up into your passion for the process of baking the cookies. Suddenly I feel I too should be devoting more time to baking. I also wish I could be in your kitchen when your cookies come out of the oven, as your description of your baking makes my mouth water to taste your culinary works of gustatory art.
These cookies sound amazing!! I agree with you, there's no substitution for butter. My family and I like what they have dubbed 'squishy' cookies, soft not crispy. I'm not a dipper of cookies. The combinations are endless. I find recipes consistently suggest that bakers bake items at too high an oven temperature which dries out the end result. The creation of cookies builds a sense of expectation / anticipation that heightens the reward.
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You made it! Good job! 
Independence is so important. There's no better feeling than knowing that you can do something for yourself without assistance.
