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About my everyday life, my struggles with addiction, sexual abuse, bipolar and family |
A blog about my life and how I got through some serious issues in hopes for a better tomorrow  |
| Rockin and Rollin Bipolar Bipolar is a rockin and rollin out of control. Disrupting my own life and tearing apart my soul. A disorder that is cunning A miserable, emotional state. A depression without coping skills Of like as well as hate. A ride that takes you anywhere Beyond your wildest dreams. A distortion in perception and in thoughts to what they seem. Left helpless and misunderstood It’s a battle to survive. Crawling deeper into own self Thoughts dreading to be alive. After weeks of hell, relief comes but the damage has been done. I’ve hurt myself and others too The pain has just begun. Difficult times this bipolar curse The pain and all the tears. It’s hard to protect myself When the Bipolar is what I fear. |
| I have been struggling lately with this depression and my recovery. I don't want to go out and used. I was finally able to finish this poem I started awhile back and I want to share it with you. It tells how God saved me despite my depression and struggles and I am very grateful. An Addict Has Been Saved Peace and tranquility In my heart and soul. The emptiness is filling up I’m closer to my goals. God saved me from myself From all drugs and alcohol. He’s there to pick me up Every time I seem to fall. As tears rolled down my face I raised my hands and said. “Help me dear Lord Jesus Give me life or make me dead”. Overwhelmed with so much pain and a future I couldn’t see. I said a prayer to God above So he could rescue me. He took me by the hand and showed me all his love. I am a true believer For the one who sits above. Each day’s a new beginning I’m saved for just today. As long as I keep trying I’m clean another day. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 6/24/12 |
| I spent the past two days in Oceanside because I had a bipolar major depression triggered because I stopped caffeine and sugar. Today it's better and hopefully will continue on that way. One of the hardest things I had to do. Next is weight loss. I want to lose about 30 pounds I'm just gonna set my mind to it and do it. So I spent two days with my brother and his wife and went to the beach and just relaxed. Just what I needed. Here's a poem about love that I wrote yesterday. You’re My Everything This night I pledge my love to you So that all my dreams come true. My commitment is my love That shines so far above. We can weather any storm I will keep you safe and warm. You are my everything What joy you always bring. This night I’m on one knee So you can surely see. I want you here for life I want you for my wife. Please accept my gift to you Because our love is true. You are my guiding light That shines so very bright. My heart still skips a beat Whenever we do meet. My life I live for you and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. You’re the one who makes me whole You have my heart and soul. Together till the end As my lover and my friend. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 6/22/12 |
| Last Monday I stopped drinking Diet Coke. I use to drink a 6 pack of diet coke a day. Since then, I have been having severe sugar withdrawals. I have been depressed and suicidal. I don't know how to remedy the situation now but this depression is sure disrupting my recovery. Apparently I should have weened off the sugar instead of stopping so abruptly. So don't do it. |
| I'm a severe isolator have been since I was a child. I am afraid of people and the world sometimes, this is how I feel. A World Outside Myself I’m sitting here in my protection, A frightened little girl. This is my false security, Away from the outside world. The world is such a scary place, It’s much easier to isolate. Protect my heart from getting hurt, From a world so full of hate. There’s sadness seen on my face, With happiness so far away. I need courage to come on out, That would be a glorious day. Right now my walls are up real high, With fear right there behind. Will this forever be my life, or is there life still yet to find? So release me from my misery, Let me live outside myself. Let me see what life’s about, Take my hand and get me help. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 1/18/12, 4/13/12 Kymberly Erickson |
| My dad is denying my truth about the abuse that took place in our family. Therefore, I wrote this poem. Oozing Truth The truth is oozing out of me Everyday and every night. I finally have a conscious To do what I think is right. My family doesn’t like it much For the truth is bringing pain. Denial isn’t helping much For nothing stays the same. The truth can seem real harmful When one fails to accept. The reality of the situation Or the truth of the percept. I know I’m on the right track and going forward I have been. Without restraints to hold me Or dirty, awful sin. The truth will set me free If I’m truthful with myself. Confront my problems head on With or without some help. The oozing of the truth Will continue to come out. For this is my own truth and my life I’m talking about. So the process will continue I’m on a journey to find me. Get the gifts along the way So I, in turn, can be free. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 6/18/12 |
| A poem about reflections from my inner self to see my own reflection, Reflections The breeze is gentle from the sky Like God’s hand upon my soul. Delicately touching me Trying to make me whole. The branches of the tree nearby Reflect my growth and change. No matter what the season is My life won’t be the same. Captured in my thoughts and dreams Is a new life I have found. I listen closely to the words and the message in the sound. Reflecting on the days gone by and the new self I’ve become. Tells me there is more to learn My journey here’s not done. These travels I have met with Are ones which I can mold. Giving back’s the answer For it’s worth the weight in gold. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 5/19/12 Kymberly Erickson |
| This poem was written about my abusers who had harmed up until the time I wrote this poem. This was a very moving experience. These were dolls I made, connected them together (6 of them) then separated and burned them one by one. I felt I released a lot of anger. Burning My Past To the beach I went one day With my abusers in my arm. One by one I burned them So they could not do me harm. I wrote each one a eulogy To say my last goodbye. Each carried a separate pain That brought tears to my eyes. I watched each burn in silence and felt overwhelmed with pain. For this indeed was my last hope That anything would ever change. Their ashes laid there buried In the place where they were burned. Forever they are gone now and can never again return. My heart cries out to all of you Though my bitter silence remains. Your guilt and your denial Remind me you’re the ones to blame. Though what we had is gone now and forever it will be. My life is my control now I feel I’ve been set free. No more reigns around my neck For my life you all controlled. The truth is in the open now and my story has been told. So this is where I say goodbye and go my separate way. The abuse has been broken Which no one can take away. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 9/20/90 UPDATED 10/30/10 UPDATED 2/3/11, 4/26/11 |
| I've had writer's block that past several days and it's frustrating, but I know in time my creativeness will come back and I will be able to write again. In the meantime, here are some poems not on the site. How Colorful Life Is Award Winner - Gold Colorful beams of bright lights Exploding in the air late at night. Hand held sparklers twirling around Burned out fireworks on the ground. For miles around you can see A beautiful display beyond the trees. Stars in the sky are shining bright Added light throughout the night. Colorful is life of amazing grace Conquering all that we must face. The show in the sky is what we see The array of colors inspire me. Bringing me hope of a brighter day Knowing things will be okay. Memories there inside my mind Always there for me to find. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 5/7/12 Bat Kitty Bat kitty on a stool With wings that will not fly. Fangs too big for his mouth So embarrassed he wants to die. Take a picture one last time I don’t sparkle I don’t shine. All I really want to do Is sit here and just whine. I’m not happy can’t you see I feel just like a fool. Every cat is laughing and to me that’s just not cool. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 5/7/12 Kymberly Erickson |
| Things are going so well, I don't have much to talk about. No chaos, no problems. I am just going to enjoy this time of peace. A Road to Travel Traveling down a dirt road With destination unknown. Trying to find my purpose So I will not be alone. Driving into nowhere Is a feat hard to explain. The wariness around me Unsure what is to gain. The road is leading somewhere I must trust and go along. The gifts I’m carrying with me Will help me to be strong. This dirt road may be long With a treasure at its end. If you will be there waiting I will have found myself a friend. WRITTEN BY: KYM ERICKSON 6/8/12 |
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created by God continue to light your way and blanket you with his loving warmth from the cold dark path of drugs and alcohol. You Are Awesome =) Take care.
cause I am.... but I relate to what this poem itself is saying. I wish I had an angel, someone to lean on, I guess you can say... but don't think I understood belief in angels et cetera... I guess I am just glad that even in creativity someone can understand what we go through--even if its just a creative fictional level.
