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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/1656580-The-Paragons
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by Omzy Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Book · Fantasy · #1656580
A young boy unlocks an ancient secret that gives him the power to save humanity.
This is my first-ever complete (but unedited) chapter. I would love feedback and constructive criticism.

Set after the oil wars (2037AD), the story begins in the underbelly of Nyx, one of the worlds great floating cities. The modern world, at least the civilized portion, is composed of mobile man-made islands that host large, socially diverse populations. We meet Jesse, our protagonist, with his family in the slums of Nyx as he begins his spectacular adventure by accompanying his father to work on his birthday.

Yes, this is only the beginning of the tale, but the feedback might determine if I proceed with it or begin something else.

(Note: I changed a couple of benign expletives to 'kiddy talk' to meet the E requirements)

Thanks for reading and commenting!
#1. The Paragons: Chapter 1
ID #690684 entered on March 19, 2010 at 8:32am


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