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Save your sanity and your livelihood -- get a lawyer if you are getting a divorce |
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Don't blink you may regret it. I write this in the form of buyer beware although it has nothing to do with purchasing hard goods. It has to do with protecting what you have worked hard for and deserve. I am speaking of protecting your sanity as well as your dignity. I found out the hard way that no one can kick you any harder than you can kick your self. When it comes to not getting a lawyer. If you happen to be taken out to dinner and your husband says, "by the way we are getting a divorce." I will spare you most of the sordid details, but let’s just say my husband came out to me nine years ago. We chose to not divorce for many reasons. We no longer lived as man and wife but as best friends. He did move out of our home I guess three years ago. We did the usual things friends do. We went out to dinner, we went to yard sales, flea markets, and consoled each other when we were having bad days. I was comfortable around his gay friends. I did not get involved in a relationship, but he did. I had always told him after he came out that if we needed to divorce for him to develop a good relationship with a partner, I said, " we would work it out." Well let me tell you saying and doing, is two very different things. He had a new boy friend that I thought was a good guy. My husband called and asked if I would like to go out to dinner with them and, I said sure. But right in the middle of dinner he said we are getting a divorce. I almost choked. After I recovered I said we would talk about it. Little did I know he and the boyfriend had already been to a lawyer and had the papers drawn up. They said they would be ready to sign in two days. I asked about a lawyer for myself and the boyfriend said his lawyer would take care of everything. Well I was upset to say the least. They called me and said come over to sign. I went there oblivious to the whole thing. I had started taking xanax for my nerves. This is probably why I had no concept of what I was signing. I did not know that the papers I signed would make evrything final. Because I was so upset I over looked a lot of things. I know you are probably thing how stupid. Imagine how I feel now. I was crying, and asking about getting a lawyer for myself. The boy friend went into a fit of anger. He started threatening me about things in my past he had learned of from my father in-law. He stated the father in-law was going to the lawyer be a witneess for his son and he would bring things into the divorce to hurt me. The boy friend kept bullying me and my husband allowed it. I signed the papers nor realizing this would be it. To make a long story shorter, I did get the house that needs major repairs. A car with a blown engine.(They knew the engine was blown but left that out of the papers). I lost my health insurance my husbands’ life insurance policy which I had always thought would at least offer me some security. Now get this, I get a whopping six hundred dollars monthly alimony --for a man who makes a hundred grand a year isn't that generous. I did work during the marriage, not all the time-- but still worked. When not working I was taking care of our home, rasing our four children I got them through high school which in itself is a job. At present I have a part time job now making approximately five to six hundred dollars a month. I would not have taken him to the cleaners if I had filed for divorce, but I would have sought what was fair. So my advice after all my ranting and raving is if you have to sell blood to get a lawyer, do it. Let the chips fall where they may. You can always sweep them up later. But do not be Stupid like me. |
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