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Welcome to my head..enter at your own risk |
  Winders….By Onewho Every thing starts with an idea. Around here it is usually Sweetie’s idea. And she convinces me was really my idea, and then I jump right on it, telling her what a great idea this is, and I’m glad I thought of it and all. She says “you are so smart” I say “yes I am.” And off we go! This one started with windows; or as we say down here, “Winders.” So the big winder in front is falling apart, glazing, wood, sill and all. She plants the idea that a big time remodeling guy like me should be able to whip it back into shape right quick. Now “we” decide that all of the winders need to be done, 12 of them. “We” think wrapping the trim in aluminum would save future maintenance. Also the roof trim, soffet and fascia should be scraped and painted; “we” think. While we are thinking and working along these lines, the ole gal from across the street wanders over. She needs the same thing done to her house so “we” tell her that I will give her a price on the job tomorrow. “We” also remember an entry door that someone wants a price for priming and painting. And our dentist, who wants a bid on a wheel chair ramp for his office, so that he will be handicapped accessible. “We” are ambitious! No?!......... “We” have some plans about what we could spend the money on by doing these jobs and everything. I am just so smart, she is right, I am………Thanks…..Onewho |
| Well, I ain't never seen the like. Fer a country thats aspossed to be free, all our time is dun spent in a hoosegow. We been to almost ever town an city in this here great land of ours, an end up in jail in ever one o them! Course we know what the problem is. Ever bodies jealous of us cause we so handsome an charmin an all.t555555555555555555555555555555555555555555(sorry PuffBall the kitten dun got up on the key board.) Anyway, we is back in Piggott ona cause we broke otta jail in El Paso Texas. They took exception to some of our reel state deals down there so we had to high tail it to Mexico, town nama Whareeze, jes across the border. So we stay ther bout a month slugging down shots o tequila till all our reel state money bout spent. When We tries to come back they a tellin us we need a peasport or some such. I dono, them Mexicans don't talk good english like ole Ernest an me. Anyway, thats what it sounded like. So we took off arunnin but they catched us an tole us we were "illigal ignorance" or sompen an throwed us in the city jail. Then they found out bout our reel state business, an the ole judge say 10 years! Well, we ain't doin no 10 fer selling some houses, even ifin they wern't ours. So we broke out an come back here an is a hidin out in Onewho's tool shed. Ole Sweetie say we gotta pay our own way too cause the 8 cats an 2 dawgs is a eatin em otta house an home. So I guess we gona start sellin pick up trucks. O course we don have none, but well figgure sompin out. Thanks fer lookin in.............ole earl & Ernest |
| We have not done it in a long time. We used to do it all the time, when we were new together. Every day, often twice a day, once in a while three times a day. We did it a lot before we got married too! But now, we almost never write blogs anymore. And I am starting to miss ole Earl and Earnest, and the critters. They were a funny bunch, even if they were imaginary. And the General too. He stopped by the other day, driving a new Army tank. No, I didn’t ask him where he got it, and I don’t want to know. Now he is talking about taking over Memphis and creating a utopian city state with him as king and ruler of all he surveys. I don’t think his meds are working. Anyway, he heard from ole Earl and Ernest. Seems they were pulling that selling houses that they don’t own scam again. This time they were doing it on eBay. So they would sell a 3000 sq. foot home for about $49.00 and get paid and all. They did this with about 200 homes before they got caught. So now they are doing 10 years the hard way in some jail out west. They have escaped from every jail they were ever in, so I guess they will get out of this one too. Bruce the 700 pound bear wanted to go to Texarkana for some reason. We havn't heard from him in six months. For those of you that don’t know this already, North East Arkansas is hotter than Hell’s front porch. It is the first week in October and still in the 90’s here. But thats cooler than it has been. Even the locals down here can’t remember a worse summer than this last one. My air conditioning bill for August was $345,776,890,251,201 and 43 cents. I could not work at my home repair business. The heat and humidity made the parts of me that don’t work too well, not work at all, and I had to walk on a cane again for a while. So we had some yard sales, (lowest paying hard work anyone can do) and I sold some stuff on line and we got by. I’m back to work now though. We are going to the North Woods of Wisconsin around the 15th of this month. “Why now? Why not when it was so hot there?” I dono! Anyway we need to hear true northern accents again. See cities, drink Starbucks. Northern stuff like that. Maybe get into a road rage fight around Chicago, with a yellow cab driver. I miss that stuff. I have also missed writing these non-sense blogs. I’m gonna start doing it again. No body is that busy. Thanks. Doug Marlowe Baby Gizmo Blackbeard Sissy Hugo Tipsy and PuffBall |
| Hi, My name is Onewho and I quit drinking about a week too late. For the last 3 years I have been in another blog community. One for “older folks” Before that I had never written anything more than a return address on an envelope. But it was a dating site for singles and I was one, so what the hell. The blogging there is interactive and your blogs get a lot of comments, and you get your ego stroked, and people were actually reading the tripe I was putting out. So the hook was in. I met Marlowe there and she became my wife. We have been married for a year now so it looks like the dumb online dating thing works. At least it did for us. Any way its nice to meet you all. Thanks………….ole Onewho |
| As some of you may remember, I am applying for Newbie Northman, here in the North Woods. Part of the test is for me to live in the woods, naked except for my “North Woods Newbie” beanie hat with the propeller on top. I was to live with a pack of wolves. Then an old Indian who can talk with them gets their opinion on how I did. I have it here, its not good. From: Chief toes in the water, wolf talker To: Northman acceptance committee, Phelps Wisconsin. Dear Hans, This is the poorest candidate you have ever sent to us for the “Naked in the woods test.” He was with pack # 234. The dominate male is Chester, a tough cookie, and he was not impressed. Day one: The applicant sat and shivered, naked on a fallen tree and whimpered about being cold and hungry. He said he felt foolish sitting there naked except for his Newbie beanie hat with the propeller on top. We told him wolves don’t whimper. Day two: We told him he has to hunt to eat. The applicant said he does not hunt. Let me repeat that. He does not hunt! We are in the North Woods. Human kids are hunting by the time they are three years old! Day three: Bribe attempts to pack members. Day four: We found him on Highway 17, hitch hiking, naked trying to get back to Phelps. We told him that wolves don’t hitch hike. Day five: It seems the Spiritual cleansing had started. His eyes had rolled back in his head and he was spinning in slow circles. His arms were stretched out at his sides and he was chanting. It sounded like. “Boom-chucka-Boom-chucka-Boom.” Day six: He ate some mushrooms because he was so hungry. He picked the wrong ones and was stoned and hallucinating for 26 hours. Day seven: Spent the day coming down from the bad mushroom trip. Overall score 0- Thank you, Chester the wolf, Newbie Evaluator.  |
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