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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

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Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Dave

Sep 18, 2024 at 2:09pm
In response to "The Call"

Yes, a blending of recent newscasts inspired this one.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Sep 17, 2024 at 2:22pm
In response to "The Call"

Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.

1 Like

AnotherDreamer

Aug 26, 2024 at 3:19pm
In response to "Smorgasbord"

Thank you for reminding me. I can almost taste the salt in the air from here

1 Like

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre เลียม Enga

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

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Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

July 30, 2018 at 1:33pm

#938815

The Winsome Mermaid

The winsome mermaid
lured sailors to their deaths
among the jagged rocks
with her mystic song of love.

1 Like • Comment

July 29, 2018 at 3:04pm

#938771

The Consummate Writer

He stands, aloof,
observing conversations,
all the while,
capturing snippets
for his next novel.

1 Like • Comment

July 28, 2018 at 1:57pm

#938725

The Path of Life

As we meander
down the path of life
and pause to ponder,
we greet joy and strife
with same resolve.

Like • Comment

July 27, 2018 at 3:55pm

#938679

The Undaunted Optimist

Her coquettish ruse
gave my heart a bruise,
but you lit my fuse,
so I will not lose
this time around.

Like • Comment

July 26, 2018 at 11:30am

#938624

Lake Placid Sanctuary

Crickets serenade
our Adirondack mountain sanctuary
along the banks of Lake Placid.

Yes, folks, there is such a place: http://www.lakeplacid.com/

1 Like • Comment

July 24, 2018 at 3:27pm

#938541

The Ode

A tactile sense of foreboding
gripped the poet,
eroding confidence in ode he was writing.

1 Like • Comment • View 1 comment

July 23, 2018 at 6:14pm

#938490

The Naughty Knave

The naughty knave stole me wife,
then tried to give her back again
when her nagging caused him so much strife.

2 Like • Comment • View 1 comment

July 22, 2018 at 5:04pm

#938426

Word Skirmish

An oasis in the creative desert,
this word skirmish quenches
our thirst for inspiration.

1 Like • Comment

July 20, 2018 at 4:22pm

#938327

Poetic Moonshine

The poet pours words
into his still
and lets the process
reduce expression
to its bare essence.

3 Like • Comment

July 19, 2018 at 2:37pm

#938279

The Echo of a Memory

The echo of a memory
takes me back to a simpler time,
when "pot" meant cooking utensil.

2 Like • Comment • View 1 comment

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