Search where?

This Portfolio (drschneider)

All of Writing.Com

◄ November ►
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
Archive				RSS

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Sunday, Nov. 10, 2024

2:19pm EST

Members: 961

Guests: 4,513

Total Online: 5,474

Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Dave

Sep 18, 2024 at 2:09pm
In response to "The Call"

Yes, a blending of recent newscasts inspired this one.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Sep 17, 2024 at 2:22pm
In response to "The Call"

Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.

1 Like

AnotherDreamer

Aug 26, 2024 at 3:19pm
In response to "Smorgasbord"

Thank you for reminding me. I can almost taste the salt in the air from here

1 Like

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre เลียม Enga

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jan 2, 2023 at 3:37pm
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I hurry down a grovel path
to hide from mighty blokes
residing where the mountains scream
at rabid city folks.

I soothe my wounds from acid tongues
among these squirrely butts
and count my blessings every time
White Rabbit brings me nuts.

K.E.

2 Like

#378. Rallying the Troops
ID #1079136 entered on October 29, 2024 at 7:09pm

#377. October's Charm
ID #1077629 entered on October 2, 2024 at 3:55pm

#376. The Call
ID #1076917 entered on September 17, 2024 at 2:11pm

#375. On the Hunt
ID #1075840 entered on August 28, 2024 at 6:46pm

#374. Debby
ID #1075833 entered on August 28, 2024 at 3:06pm

#373. Smorgasbord
ID #1075749 entered on August 26, 2024 at 3:03pm

#372. My Turn
ID #1075232 entered on August 13, 2024 at 1:46pm

#371. Battle Buddies
ID #1074506 entered on July 28, 2024 at 2:24pm

#370. Inspiration
ID #1073500 entered on July 3, 2024 at 3:49pm

#369. Hand In Hand
ID #1073329 entered on June 29, 2024 at 3:47pm

#368. The Buffet
ID #1072605 entered on June 13, 2024 at 4:40pm

#367. Remembering
ID #1072440 entered on June 10, 2024 at 4:22pm

#366. Poetry Is...
ID #1072141 entered on June 4, 2024 at 1:52pm

#365. Mama Mia!
ID #1071907 entered on May 30, 2024 at 4:20pm

#364. Military Mom
ID #1071809 entered on May 28, 2024 at 4:10pm

#363. My Brother John
ID #1068274 entered on May 17, 2024 at 12:26pm

#362. Limerick's Schtick
ID #1066777 entered on March 23, 2024 at 12:07pm

#361. My Uncle Henry
ID #1064745 entered on February 23, 2024 at 3:13pm

#360. My Uncle Igor
ID #1063178 entered on January 30, 2024 at 10:18am

#359. Arctic Air
ID #1062614 entered on January 18, 2024 at 4:49pm

#358. Our Military Mission
ID #1062488 entered on January 16, 2024 at 3:11pm

#357. Wandering
ID #1061671 entered on January 1, 2024 at 10:28am

#356. Wandering
ID #1061670 entered on January 1, 2024 at 10:28am

#355. Christmas Traditions
ID #1060794 entered on December 9, 2023 at 11:24am

#354. Summer
ID #1060649 entered on December 7, 2023 at 2:54pm

#353. Thanksgiving Restoration
ID #1060262 entered on November 28, 2023 at 3:11pm

#352. Family Life
ID #1059832 entered on November 20, 2023 at 3:21pm

#351. A Halloween Celebration
ID #1058251 entered on October 29, 2023 at 1:51pm

#350. Tradition
ID #1057574 entered on October 27, 2023 at 10:43am

#349. Enchanted Breeze
ID #1056684 entered on October 3, 2023 at 3:32pm

#348. Something In the Wind
ID #1056251 entered on September 26, 2023 at 3:40pm

#347. The Veteran
ID #1056248 entered on September 26, 2023 at 2:59pm

#346. The Mystic Melody
ID #1054587 entered on August 25, 2023 at 3:12pm

#345. The Myth
ID #1054436 entered on August 22, 2023 at 10:40am

#344. Ingredients
ID #1053427 entered on August 1, 2023 at 11:19am

#343. Christmas In July
ID #1053332 entered on July 30, 2023 at 9:28am

#342. Sacrifices
ID #1052378 entered on July 9, 2023 at 2:38pm

#341. Summer's Reply
ID #1051529 entered on June 24, 2023 at 2:01pm

#340. Home
ID #1050616 entered on June 5, 2023 at 5:22pm

#339. Poppies
ID #1049304 entered on May 6, 2023 at 6:52pm

#338. A Mother Cries
ID #1048622 entered on April 22, 2023 at 6:30pm

#337. The Wonder of It All
ID #1047437 entered on April 3, 2023 at 5:34pm

#336. Little John
ID #1046196 entered on March 10, 2023 at 5:59pm

#335. Heirlooms
ID #1046056 entered on March 7, 2023 at 5:10pm

#334. TAPS
ID #1046019 entered on March 6, 2023 at 10:05am

#333. Sleepless
ID #1046015 entered on March 6, 2023 at 9:45am

#332. Open
ID #1044081 entered on February 2, 2023 at 2:08pm

#331. The Trap
ID #1043132 entered on January 14, 2023 at 2:43pm

#330. The Gravel Path
ID #1042530 entered on January 2, 2023 at 3:19pm

#329. Why Review?
ID #1042380 entered on December 30, 2022 at 11:34pm

#328. SILENT NIGHT
ID #1041942 entered on December 19, 2022 at 6:19pm

#327. The Telegram
ID #1041433 entered on December 5, 2022 at 4:20pm

#326. One More
ID #1040810 entered on February 28, 2023 at 10:45am

#325. Elmer Gantry
ID #1040403 entered on November 8, 2022 at 11:48am

#324. Sunday Morning
ID #1040380 entered on November 7, 2022 at 4:16pm

#323. Chapter 1: My Inheritance
ID #1039598 entered on October 23, 2022 at 2:36pm

#322. Hallowe'en
ID #1039515 entered on October 21, 2022 at 2:18pm

#321. Remember
ID #1039063 entered on October 11, 2022 at 1:53pm

#320. Fabliau 4 TXTNG
ID #1038546 entered on October 3, 2022 at 2:23pm

#319. ...and so it begins
ID #1037813 entered on September 17, 2022 at 5:02pm

#318. Potluck Stew
ID #1037537 entered on September 9, 2022 at 12:37pm

#317. The Goblins of Gab
ID #1037212 entered on September 2, 2022 at 10:57am

#316. GETAWAY
ID #1036564 entered on August 16, 2022 at 3:16pm

#315. Through the Camera's Lens
ID #1036381 entered on August 11, 2022 at 1:58pm

#314. The Library
ID #1036026 entered on August 2, 2022 at 7:08pm

#313. The Mirror's Perspective
ID #1035880 entered on July 30, 2022 at 12:35pm

#312. ESCAPE
ID #1035529 entered on July 21, 2022 at 4:57pm

#311. The Brave
ID #1035145 entered on July 13, 2022 at 12:06pm

#310. Cool Change
ID #1035036 entered on July 11, 2022 at 2:25pm

#309. The Media
ID #1034766 entered on July 6, 2022 at 10:37am

#308. Magic
ID #1034409 entered on June 28, 2022 at 2:47pm

#307. The Laboratory
ID #1033749 entered on June 12, 2022 at 12:08pm

#306. Greetings From Your Diary
ID #1033096 entered on May 31, 2022 at 10:30am

#305. The Island
ID #1032045 entered on August 31, 2023 at 11:40am

#304. Poetry
ID #1031870 entered on May 3, 2022 at 5:05pm

#303. Dandelions
ID #1031701 entered on April 30, 2022 at 11:05am

#302. Grandpa Pete
ID #1031550 entered on April 28, 2022 at 1:58pm

#301. Howdy!
ID #1031369 entered on April 25, 2022 at 7:52pm

#300. The Promise
ID #1030950 entered on April 18, 2022 at 6:18pm

#299. Pigeons
ID #1030476 entered on April 10, 2022 at 11:43am

#298. My Secret Place
ID #1030474 entered on April 10, 2022 at 11:20am

#297. HELP!
ID #1029290 entered on March 21, 2022 at 5:00pm

#296. Good morning, Spring!
ID #1029096 entered on March 17, 2022 at 6:11pm

#295. WAR
ID #1028572 entered on March 8, 2022 at 11:21am

#294. Literary Clout
ID #1028520 entered on March 7, 2022 at 3:38pm

#293. The Farmer's Creed
ID #1027221 entered on February 22, 2022 at 11:00am

#292. Bilge Monster
ID #1027107 entered on February 20, 2022 at 4:17pm

#291. My Mission
ID #1026481 entered on February 11, 2022 at 2:51pm

#290. Is You?
ID #1026474 entered on February 11, 2022 at 12:24pm

#289. Clutter
ID #1025372 entered on January 25, 2022 at 6:02pm

#288. Haiku 1/24/2022
ID #1025309 entered on January 24, 2022 at 6:19pm

#287. Bliss
ID #1025202 entered on January 22, 2022 at 6:19pm

#286. Another Day
ID #1024411 entered on January 9, 2022 at 2:36pm

#285. Final Goodbye
ID #1024236 entered on January 5, 2022 at 3:43pm

#284. The Curse
ID #1024102 entered on January 3, 2022 at 3:49pm

#283. Celebration!
ID #1023916 entered on May 11, 2023 at 1:01pm

#282. My Bicycle Renaissance
ID #1023659 entered on December 25, 2021 at 3:41pm

#281. We Must Remember
ID #1023084 entered on December 11, 2021 at 1:42pm

#280. The Greatest Gift
ID #1022934 entered on December 7, 2021 at 4:56pm

#279. Therapy
ID #1022930 entered on December 7, 2021 at 2:16pm

Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 ... Next

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/drschneider/action/archive