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 |  My purging and some other crap - can be funny, most times without trying :-) |
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ Just to take the crap out of me and put it somewhere else for safekeeping. Gets heavy carrying it around. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It's me, Summertime 2010. I'm pretty damn happy these days. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And yes.. this is my daughter, Devann Dev   . I am the luckiest Mom in the world. Can't get a new pic ... oh maybe I'll creep FB and steal one from there! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And our little slice of paradise. I still after 'four' years here can't believe how lucky I am. Come on over .. the door's always open ( heehee ) Thanks for stopping by. Cheers Check yourself, or I mean, it out
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| Had a bit of piss day today. I haven't even answered my mail on here yet, which is unheard of for me. I won't bother telling you about all the little things that just climbed on top of me and made me sink into the pile of goo... it's all irrelevant really. But I got snarky and Devann and I had a few run ins today, which is very unusual for us, so that made things even worse. So at 5pm, I said to her, lets split and have ice cream. So we walked up to the marina, sat in the sunshine, eat ice cream cones and just chilled. She said she was sorry first, then of course, I did too. I like that about us, we get into a funk, but it doesn't last long. And she's good at reflecting like I am and seeing that she could have handled things differently. I do that too - its a good skill to have I think. We laughed when I remembered a funny comment she made after we switched seats in the car after driving lessons yesterday - she said, "Who needs dope, driving is a such a high." I hope she remembers that..... if and when THAT day arrives.. haha.. I'll remind her!! And now I have it in writing. I had some lovely comments in here as always yesterday - a few said they hoped I wasn't thinking too much about the jerk, and I wasn't to be honest. I like to purge on here, that is why I started this blog. I have to get these bad memories out of my body. I think it makes me sick. I think withholding pain and crap inside is like a poison. Writing has helped me a lot. I find almost as soon as I write a poem or purge something, I feel lighter and the pain dissipates. It's funny, someone reviewed my last dark poem today and it was a bit startled to read the comments as I had let those feelings go, shortly after I wrote it. But until I started to write about Dev's driving lessons I hadn't remembered about that guy. I have a really bad memory - well in my brain anyway - but my body has a great memory. And I know those events are stored inside me... and when I remembered it in my brain yesterday, I wrote about it and got it out of my body. Hey... if I keep doing this every single day, I bet by the end of a month I will have lost 10 pounds... hey now that's a weight loss plan that needs a book written! Nada is always looking for some extra pounds - so each day, I can leave one here for her... a win, win, if I ever heard!! I had some rough experiences in my life, sure, but so have a lot of other people. And way more people have had worse. I don't usually complain about my past - but I do like to think I have learned from the crap. I remember when I worked at the bank, that I had a staff member once who was in a mess. She had gone on stress leave and was having a hard time. She was gorgeous, she used to be a model, she was from a very rich family, she never worked in an office or had to earn a living, she had been married and had 2 kids and her life was pretty easy. Well things changed, her husband left her, she had no money, she had to get a job, she had troubles with her kids etcetc. So she worked for me filing or something, I don't remember. She was fairly smart and did alright. But she started to lose it. She had to get some medical help and things just got worse and worse for her. On the outside, even though she was getting a divorce, she had had a pretty sweet life. But inside she was a mess. We sat one day in my office and talked for hours. A lot of stuff came up and at one point, I looked at her and I couldnt believe it. Here she was, someone with a perfect upbringing, Money, family who adored her, looks, brains, you name it she had it. But one thing she never had to do was face any discord. She had such an easy life, that she never learned how to handle stress or hardship. And here she was in her mid 40s and she couldnt handle a crisis to save her life. She was an absolute mess. She looked at me and admired me - not quite 40, very successful career, tough gal in the office, respected and admired and making loads of money - all good. She couldn't believe that I had crawled my way out of my hole, with a jerk for a Dad and no money, not much affection or love, and here I was - successful, happy and together and could handle any crisis thrown my way with ease and a smile. I think of her often. I wonder how she is now. I wonder who had a better life in the long run. Yah I had shit to deal with that she didn't .. but really, I turned out good - better than good. I got tough early and to be honest, that really didn't do me that harm in the long run. I bounce back, I can handle crap when it's thrown at me and I keep on ticking. So bring it on ... I can take it. I'll just dust myself off here tonight, press the ole, restart button and take on the next pile of crap and come out smelling like a rose - no scratch that... smelling like a honeysuckle.. yup, that's it. heehee.. mine smells delish. Hope you all survive your crap too - there's a lot floating around today. It's all in the planets stuff apparently. At 4:11 am and for the next hour, I will be joining thousands, perhaps millions all over the globe who will be meditating and sending powerful energy waves to help in healing the planet and all that ails us. Some say this crap today was part of this getting ready for tomorrow. Could be true .. it's possible. Certainly can't hurt that's for sure. So if you slept through it.. no worries, I'll say an extra bunch of good thoughts for all of you. cheers bugzy |
| "Driving Lessons of Life" Well my lovely ten-days-until-I-turn-fifteen-year-old-daughter got a surprise from me yesterday. After picking her up from work, I took her to the local high school parking lot for driving lessons. She was pumped!! She’s lucky. Living on a farm for four years meant having access to the farm pick up. Driving the fields was one of the funner chores. Her now ex-step-dad, when he would be having a good day would set up pylons in the drive way and give her lessons. Those would usually end in angry words and tears, but she loved those lessons all the same. One day she confronted him about hitting her ( I know – sigh ), he of course denied it and made some blaming statements. And then a few days later, when she asked if she could have another lesson – he replied with some asinine comment, that if he was the mean kind of Dad who would hit, then surely he wasn’t the nice enough kind to give driving lessons. What a jerk - thank God, he's out of our lives. So needless to say it’s been over a year since she’s had a lesson. So there we were, all set up -- Devann sitting up darn right perky in the driver’s seat and me kicking back with my Iced Capachino. She told me to put my seat belt on, but I said, NO Way, … I wanted easy access to jump out the open window if necessary – hey, I’m no dummy. So I had a flash back of my driving lessons – and the ole long forgotten, ten and two hand positioning came back to me, (from who knows where). And all in all, I was pretty damn calm, I thought. she did way more yelling than me – when I would quietly remind her, “Ten and Two”, then five minutes later,"Ten and Two" Man she has a potty mouth – can’t imagine where she gets that from…. The only time, I said, “STOP! JESUS!!” was when she backed into a hedge and there was a resounding ‘crunch’! But again, I was pretty calm. It’s my brother’s pick up actually – since my poor car when to car heaven last week – sigh - so I have his as a loaner for now. (ok, I know some of you are thinking… THAT’S why she’s letting Dev drive it!) But my car was a standard anyway and if you have ever tried to teach someone on a standard… that is not pretty. After about an hour – and she did pretty well, except the ten and two thing and the choice names she called me when I didn’t let her listen to the radio – she said, “Hey you forgot to tell me to use my blinkers.” Ok so I suck at instructing – but it still was fun to have that time together. And she was so happy. But now she has turned into a little psycho back seat driver though – telling me to go when the light turns or to avoid a pot hole. One year and 10 days to go until the big day. I'm not sure I can handle it!! So for her birthday this year, one of her pressies will be the driver’s handbook and a set of pylons… wahooo.. On a more reflective note. I was remembering today of my lessons. My Dad wouldn’t teach me or let me use his car. It was the summer I graduated from high school, so I guess I was still 17. I worked all summer teaching swimming and my entire summer pay cheque went towards lessons. But I still wanted to practice but he was having none of it. So a friend of his who I used to babysat for, said he would take me. He had a big white, kick ass Lincoln Continental. It was a beautiful day, and I was a little cutie. He was a friend of my Dad’s so I am not sure how old he was, but he was probably in his 40s. He had a wife and had just had a baby. He took me up the mountains and let me drive on some old country roads. I guess we got out and one point and we stood look down on the valley. It was a sunny day and I was feeling pretty damn happy. I guess he was too as the next thing I remember was being in the back seat of his car, naked. I had only had sex once before with my high school love who dumped me right after. I was pretty vulnerable and certainly naive. He took advantage of me, there is no doubt in my mind now that I think about it. Could I have stopped him? Did I know how? I don’t think I did. I had turned down a few guys from school – but I guess this was different. That was messed up now that I am remembering this event. I have not thought of it for years. I wonder if that was somehow a turning point in my life. I moved out from home shortly after that day. I never saw him again and I remember being pretty heart broken and planned on swallowing a whole bottle of aspirins. That was my extent of suicide planning and not something that has crossed my mind since. But shortly after that when I moved out from home, I went on my ‘wild’ streak… of men, parties and booze. I think sex got messed up for me from the get go and I wonder now still, if it is still messed up for me. Love and sex are so incestuous. I wonder if he helped me set on that slippery slope. Well my Dad certainly didn’t help and I guess he didn’t either. I’d like to see him now. I’d tell him a thing or two. What a fuck up. I feel sad right now thinking about it. Sad and used. What a jerk. What could he possibly have been thinking? I am so happy for my daughter. I am happy I am the one to teach her how to drive. How to take care of herself. How to stay safe. We've had good talks her and I. And I know when some married asshole with a new baby comes on to her, she will have the skills to say, fuck off buddy. I hope she will anyway. I hope she will have more luck in love and life than me. That’s all we can hope for our kids, isn’t it. Well didn't mean to end on a downer. I'm a kick ass driver though, that's for sure. Thanks for coming along for the drive. Next time, I'll bring a picnic. Cheers Bugz Ps….. look for me in the Bloggyville News. ( or to be more precise, look for yourself there heehee) But I made a vow not to work for free anymore. So if you are interesting in my reporting skills you will have to buy a subscription. Although I might do a guest appearance here from time to time… you never know! |
| ccstring has gone mushy and gushy. This previously never before revealed information was leaked to this reporter earlier today by SouthernDiva who wishes to remain nameless.Any other event, or revelation, or epiphanies that may have happened today to you, or even to me, is just completely inconsequential in light of this bit of news. There's nothing else to say bugzy |
| or, bugzy’s blog rules gone amuk Seems like today had a lot of ups and downs for a few folks, yours truly included. Some of you may have read my now defunct bloggy rules, but seems like they keep popping up.. one of them was not to blog about the same thing 3 days in a row – But if that rule still was in existence then this blog entry would actually not exist. So in actuality you are not reading this. Which actually makes it easier to write. Because if you think no one is going to read it, you can write whatever crap you want – but then if you think, oh so and so will read it, and oh yah, he will too – and oops , right she might as well - … all of a sudden … PRESSURE!!! So I am going with the fact that this is just a figment of your imagination.. so phewf.. here goes…. I don’t do ‘political’ – although you think I would because there is usually a lot of skulking around, and sexual innuendos – but I don’t. But Grifter said something in his bloggy the other day ( most of which I didn’t get ) but this part made me do one of those….hmmmm… and I quote “Socialism is still a very popular philosophy because it is a great theory. It would be great if we could all live in harmony and support each other… blahblahblah.. (I am going to edit – cause that’s what I do ) …But socialism forgets one dark aspect of humanity... greed. blahblahblah”The whole entry hurt my head.. but it did make me think hmmmm. He went on with lots of other good stuff… but I thought about this today in relation to some of the sadder bloggers today. i always used to say, wouldn't it be great if we would all just be nicey nice and get along - but I guess that just isn't going to happen anytime soon is it?? Greed sulks around and that greed takes on more than one form doesn’t it? It isn’t just about money, I think it is also about attention. Some want attention from others, lots of it, and they get greedy about it. They do things to get our attention. Remember the old adage that those in the ‘know’ say about kids – that even negative attention is better than no attention… well that made me think ( I know it’s really better if I stay away from that activity ) …..So to those out there who got negative attention – and blogged about it .. I saw a lot of lovely comments and support… it sucks we have to deal with crap and crappy people, but it warmed my heart to see all the ((((Hugs))) and  s out thereAnd if you need to do more than just blog about it .. write a new plan on purple paper like Special Kay did and then give the person a stack of old paperwork and send them off to the shredder like ljkam did and maybe their tie will get caught and….oops.. did I suggest that??.. noooo, this is in your imagination and I cannot be quoted.We used to have a saying at work - "Play nice and share your toys in the sandbox" .... and if they don't then .....whoosh throw sand in the face of those people who makes you sad! so there Huh! AND finally about that topic - if all else fails and you are still feeling like crap, go hang out with Ski -ster he has some odd recipe for a natural high - which personally I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole - but he is always good for a perkin up when you're down - tell him I sent you - you'll get a discount!Well in other imaginary news …. sweett was the highest bidder in the welkerdeb ‘s generous offer of her boxers in the auction raising money to support the Jello Shot Foundation of America, or JSFA for short - I really don’t want to know what she plans to do with them.. nor do I know exactly if DebW is included, and I think I don’t want to know. I just report em, I don’t ask for details. And speaking of random clothing - I thought I saw partyof5dj pants in welkerdeb very overcrowded party pool , but later she admitted to having them in her head – which really confused me… God those pants get around - do I see a new Novel series?? Instead of "Sisterhood of the Traveling pants", we have "Its a neighbourhood inside Party's Pants". I think that's a best seller in the making.... And in keeping with the theme over the last few days….. Thea is off concocting drinks again… is that all they do over there where ever the heck she lives?She has a kickass Mellow Hiker Cocktail guaranteed to make you chase moose and eat chickens or something like that.. I may have gotten that all wrong, We can’t afford a fact checker here in this blog, so again don’t quote me. And speaking of money… some are conspiring to get me to join the ranks of the bloggyville news team, which apparently pays really well .. but just in case you are getting your hopes up.. don’t.. turns out there is more money to be gained from accepting bribes from those in here, to keep their names OUT of my blog. ( in case you don't see some of your fav bloggers mentioned here - that is why ) And because I am a starving writer, I am going where the money is. * * * * Soooo, in other news…. and until I get a written notice, double registered and hand delivered in my mail this section is dedicated ENTIRELY to me… as this blog still belongs to yours truly after all and I have full editorial rights and privileges…. therefore I still get to purge my crap too. A strange phenomena happened today, that at the time freaked me out, which then I forgot about it until a later event reminded me. I have a little altar set up for my sister, who died 5 years ago of cancer. This morning I heard a loud crash and when I walked around the kitchen and living room ( a space of about 20 X 20 tops ) I couldn’t figure out what made the noise. Then I found my sister’s picture on the floor, frame broken and the candles knocked off the shelf as well. The glass didn’t break, but I thought that was odd that it had fallen off, all by itself. Well, sigh….. later today, when I went and opened my mail box- you know the real old fashioned kind that occasionally gets envelopes from those companies that still rely on paper bills…. Well there inside was the dreaded, self-addressed pre-postage-paid envelope in my handwriting. Yes…. You guessed it… the rejection letter. I was going to type it out in here.. but that was to depressing - you all know what they say, so not worth repeating. It was related to my submission of my novel that has been 5 years in the works, dedicated to the time I took care of my sister while she died of cancer. Its a happier book than it sounds, full of miracles, hopes, dreams and life - and their comment in the letter that they wouldnt know how to market this 'type' of book - really hurt. It is a book of love and a story that needs to be told..... sigh.... bastards!! Right after I got the letter, I was walking down the dock, feeling a bit stunned, when I bumped into my neighbours who were the first ones to celebrate with me when my book was all done a few months ago. Well after a few nice hugs and the ever satisfying ohhhs and sorrys, one of them said, she would go through some of her stuff as she was big in the palliative care field a few years back and she thinks she might know some publishers that I could try to submit my book to .. may be a dead end, but it was a sweet thing to offer all the same. DntdKnight tried to cheer me up tonight with some ‘new’ words of wisdom to describe those who, in their limited brain capacity, turned down my book….1 - people that turned you down are surrounded by the bozone layer (bozo, ozone) it is a substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer unfortunately shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 2 - next is the ignoranus (ignorant and anus) again describing the peeps that turned you down. It is a person who is both stupid and an asshole. Hahah.. those made me laugh – which for some of us, makes us madder cause when we wanna be pissy, we wanna be pissy and that’s all there is to it….. Well that’s it folks, up and down, like life… Remember to walk around cautiously out there in blogland… especially if you are hanging any where near, Dave Gordon he apparently has a dog who skulks around undercover, waiting for the opportune moment to throw his ball into your cup of coffee… that could hurt!And with all the continuing hangovers with no end in sight, some of you need all the coffee you can get. cheerios bugz reporting live |
| Ok... so I wrote a whole very detailed, concise description of the events of blogville today, including several hangovers and their appointed cures – but the evils of the blog police seized my entry and confiscated it. Well no that’s not entirely true, I pressed that little tiny button doodah on my browzer and as I dove at my screen to grab it back, it went poof!! I was going to forget the whole damn thing, but partyof5dj threatened me with, and I quote: "Write it! If I don't see it when I log back on later tonight, you be in some big-ass trouble!!! " So that scared the bejezus outta me, so here I am. Although I now have some serious dirt on him which I am not able to divulge at this time as it is still under investigation, but let's just say it involves, some major fashion feux paus and accordions. But I am not one to succumb to threats ( ok yes I am ) so I am not going to tell you much about today, especially not that a certain, Nada has pics and is not above blackmailing those who were unfortunate (or fortunate ) to be caught on film… so if you THINK she may have got your naked butt somewhere, I suggest you pay her a visit. But she has gone on a mini-vacation to somewhere where I believe they pay big bucks for that kinda stuff, so you may indeed be a little late.And if I were to rewrite my whole bloggy, I would have told you that welkerdeb is auctioning off this lovely pic of her boxers to the highest bidder… ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Do I hear 50,000 gps??? All monies raised will go to a good cause – which I believe will entail, purchasing shares in the rising jello stocks and at the rate they are going up, she stands to make millions – so better suck up. And the fact she has a brandy new pool compliments of sweett – is reason enough to make her your new best friend. Well I guess if I had anything else to say, it would be that I’d like to say it was all calm and quiet out there, but a late night party at Thea had a very small, select group yodelling their pattussis off and drinking some killer cuban drinks, El Mojitos. I am not at liberty to say much, but a certain someone, was found under the table. So the night of post partying certainly ended with a big bang.And that’s all I am saying. Oh except Dave Gordon got drunk on 100 degree martinis and almost died in the Grand canyon.. I am thinking there is a theme going on out there, and its not pretty.Ok put away the booze people... and don't drink and blog... it's hazardous to your fans. cheers and clink, clink bugzy signing off from under Thea 's table |
| Well seems like there was lots of making out, I mean making up, in bloggyville today, after yesterday's battle. That will surely go down as the quickest war in history. Lucky too, I think we ran out of glow in the dark Dora band aids about 3pm. I am exhausted after all the behind-closed-door-negotiations that went on all day to restore the peace, so this will be short. I think all in all, the parties involved were pleased with the results of the agreed settlements. There were some interesting discussions that went on in sweett 's bathtub. And even though Dave Gordon got a little feisty and jumped in nakkid and then tried to get us to bite him so he could electrocute us, we will forgive him, since he is from Oregon after all and doesn't seem to get out much except to Home Depot. I think the best offer for the negotiation settlement was alfred booth, wanbli ska . . after having a "hot" weekend he selflessly told people, for a rub of his belly he would grant a wish... so I say head on over there toot sweet - that's an deal you can't refuse!!Sadly Ski -ster did kinda lose his mind a little bit. But we all know he works way tooooo hard. So I think he was a little bit overwhelmed and feeling a bit too much pressure to try and save the day all by himself. ( he forgets to ask for help sometimes ). But he did throw a fabulous end-of-blog-war party that started at his house and ended up at *Barbara Maria* 's place. It was swell of everyone to show and bring beer and a special thanks to welkerdeb for all the blowing.....up of the pool. That spiced things up quite a bit, even though welkerdeb scared sweett with her painted on bathing suit. I thought it looked pretty damn good but hey.... that's just my opinion. I was a little late - west coast gal and all. That time zone thingy messes with my head sometimes. But looked like there was lots of dancing and more jello shots and of course lots of beer. I did feel bad for Thea cause she felt bad she wasn't in the war yesterday but I told her... her bloggy was all too happy, happy yesterday but she still felt left out... sorry! And then she came over and cleaned up after the mess we left at Ski -ster blog. That was so nice of her!So all in all, it was a successful kissing and making up day. I think my work here now is done. If anyone has a few spare moments, I think *Barbara Maria* 's bloggy is probably kinda messy, and she is still feeling a bit  so perhaps pop over and give a hand. But try and be quiet.. I think she might be a bit hung over. And I'm not sure, but rumour has it ShellySunshine passed out in a corner - but that's not confirmed. She and Mr.Monk- GPs for the poor were seen going for a spin, but again, I am not 100% sure that I got those facts right, so don't want to start another war around here.... so maybe just forget I said that..Well folks......hopefully this sort of misinterpretation doesn't happen again. But if it does... I'm here for you all. Just give me a call, and I'll be right over. Sweet and peaceful dreams ( ohhh....and my cure for a hangover?? frozen chocolate milk.. yumyum} cheers bugz |
| Things start out innocently enough most of the time don't they? A little comment here, a little look there, a misspelled word even. And the next thing you know, all hell's broken loose. Looking back, I see the battlefront first being laid as an overly friendly neighbourly gesture. Now gazing with horror across the bloodied field, I see bodies strewn everywhere. 1 - Ski -ster blazing with the green-eyed monster of jealousy raged a great cry and enlisted all those around to try to outwit and outblog some of the best. This resulted in an all out attack of his blog and a deluge of inbound emails that forced WDC to upgrade to a larger server, freezing mail boxes throughout the land for hours2 - *Barbara Maria* declared AWOL after suffering a torturous weekend of hell with her mother at the wheel, and still unclothed as far as we know, is now consumed with some unknown disease which perhaps was the result of tainted mail.3 - sweett also has succumbed to a mysterious bug. And it is rumoured that she was one of the initial instigators to this whole demise of blogville as it was know before today...is there a theme developing here?? 4 - ccstring has suffered a meltdown of epic proportions, causing him to enlist his young, innocent children and forcing them into the inner field, even closer to the real action and danger. 5 - Dave Gordon after attempting suicide by chopping off his finger has now suffered a flashback and has been found wandering the streets of San Francisco, sporting waist length hair and muttering, "Wow man."6- galinago who can ALWAYS be called upon to spread laughter and cheer has now been taken over by the corporate evils and was last seen throwing himself out of a kayak in an futile attempt to save a young, cute girl with a broken knee. 7 - David McClain usually portayed by day as the calm, and friendly Walmart greeter has raged his own personal battle against WDC and several of his 'friends' as he has been overtaken by an evil force. Accusing all of 'stealing' one of his much coveted community recognition points, he has turned into an alter ego, that can only be described as..... not in keeping with the Walmart code of conduct.8 - Special Kay after a night of capturing fireflies, has now been brainwashed by the big bad casino owners and is now having imaginary conversations with some politician dude.9 - welkerdeb was last seen handing out jello shots to the troops, several of whom have since been taken ill.... hmmmmm - enough said there. 10 - ljkam has recently uncovered a conspiracy under the guise of innocent looking children's authors and is on a personal vendetta to bring the evils of Cat in the Hat out into the open... could get messy, be forwarned. 11 - Nada after being accused of stealing David McClain 's missing number has been rumoured to have taken up smoking again and umm... it also must be reported that her number is now 82; garnering even more suspicion. 12 - alfred booth, wanbli ska after being featured in the blog that may have started this WHOLE dastardly demise of bloggers, has not been heard from today and fans fear the worse.And me you ask???? Well after being held hostage in blogville all day, I finally managed to slink out unnoticed while my captor was sleeping. I can report that I escaped relatively unscathed, save the sticky jello and you better believe that tonight.... I am locking my doors. Stay safe out there you all..... cheers bugzy |
| Ohhhhh.. had a few new visitors lately.. heeheee... how exciting! Never mind that they came over because of the some rumours that a certain someone here... nope not mentioning names this time... spread of innuendos of sexually transmitted diseases ( whatever turns your crank sweett ). But regardless, it's always fun to have company. So I spent some time and spruced things up in here a bit. It always motivates me when anticipated guests pop over. So hung some pictures and painted and added some decorations. Hope you like the new digs. I think I'll have a blog warming party now things are getting all settled.. and it won't be a byod or byob (and that isnt anything related to bringing body parts or drinks.)..I'll supply all the entertainment and all the things that make you think there's entertainment.. haha. Gosh golly I am just all mushy and gushy today. I have some great friends on here. sigh alfred booth, wanbli ska wrote this for me this morn....emptiness a green bottle floats on the shimmering waters catching golden light from the sunset as it disappears into the darkness of my soul did I stuff a two-page message beyond the cork will it float to I don't know where? simple words are not enough to express the joy, the exhilaration of this end of day; my heartbeat throbs, lacking the inspiration to share, the person to receive my goodness a silver lantern shows passages into the depth of my soul friends come and go, lovers... children bring hopeful laughter emptiness even the ocean is filled with longing as I gaze out beyond my tears and realize that the dark night is filled with silent sounds of peace, just out of reach tomorrow the dawn will bring a vision of gardens in the dew and the peak of distant mountains to climb where at the summit, a storm has gently deposited a bottle with a message called despondency summertime blues [2007.7...a] for Judy I know it's sad but it was in response to a sad bloggy I wrote a few days ago. Who can stay down around here, when people share amazing stuff like this?? But how come all the crushes I have with the boys on here are either married, live a zillion miles away or don't have a preference for gals like me ( go figure .. silly boys ).. sigh Well hope you have a great week. I am just doing my usual - editing smut, (i know.. it's a tough job), flirting with boys, and looking for real work. So say hi anytime.... I like distractions. cheers bugz |
| So some stuff just blabs out without thinking... I have a feeling I am not going to live down the crappy crab ( now i keep getting crab and crap mixed up when I type ) slip for some time. Great that gets to be my legacy in blogville I can see it now.... headlines... bugzy is baaaccck!! gets crabs from a "friendly" float house neighbour because she was too trusting and didn't use protection and left her doors open. Let that be a warning to others who don't lock up all entryways tightly - people may bring uninvited crustaceans and the next thing you know, there are creepy crawlies running rampant in all crevices. (phewf that's a lot of c's)So other than making a super wicked, crab and avocado salad ... delish.. I had a pretty mild day today. It was lovely and sunny. Looked for jobs online for hours and hours. How is it that people can think that writers should work for free? There are countless jobs that want you to volunteer your time, or gosh golly ... Sorry we are starting a new magazine but we have no money darn it, so can you just write articles for the joy of it - oh you have a mortgage??,,, oh well don't worry about that - a byline in our mag will bring you more job offers than you will be able to stand. Oh here's a good one I got today in response to my application - Oh just look at past issues write 6 sample articles in the same style as others and if we like it , we may ask you to do a rewrite and then maybe you will be considered for lets see... 10cents a word and then maybe if you really, really good and write us tons more crap, maybe you will get a part time job, and then maybe, maybe, if the planets all line up in order of size and the sun melts venus, then you will get a coveted full time job and a raise to a whopping 15 cents a word .. yahooooodedo I mean really - would you ever see an ad for a plumber or a lawyer or a teacher to work for exposure or lets see - profit sharing once there is money to be had later down the line, maybe. It's really a disgrace what they expect us writers to work for. We have gone to school, we spent time and effort to acquire skills just like every other profession, oh except maybe scam artists - and we deserve to paid accordingly. It makes me cuckoo!! But I will persevere! And resist sending snarky reply emails to those who try to trick me... but I am on to them .. heehee.. I will send crabs via email and see how they like it! On a perkier note - got an poetry merit badge from my buddy Ski -ster - ok people are going to start to talk if I mention him in here again...  heehee. That was a total shock .. truly. I just purge my crab, ( haha there I go again ) I mean crap....some rhyme, some have rhythm , some don't - I have never even seriously written poetry until I joined here... so that was a real honour... And another gal friend hdelphyne had some very encouraging words for me today - I was doing a little ahem... self defecation - well just a little - I didn't even really see it - but she snagged it and set me straight and I quote: "Purging, detoxing, it's one and the same and we all need to do it now and again to keep our systems from overloading with poison. Talking/writing it out feels like one of the healthiest ways to deal with it . . . has the least side-effects. You were hard on yourself . . . reading your blog these past few months, I'm reading about a most amazing woman who has untangled herself from a very difficult relationship, and has created a home for herself and her daughter through hard work and holding on to a dream that life can be better . . . To walk away from the familiar and start again is tough and it takes a lot of energy, courage, determination, humour . . . (to name just a few characteristics required to make a go of it) . . . A woman with "unmet needs" is very different from a "needy woman". You've done without a lot of human comforts to keep body and soul together for you and your daughter, and unless you are a saint or martyr . . . " She's one lovely gal - aren't we lucky she hangs out with us on here? sigh... Not much else new - oh except those who are aware of my addiction to my bread machine, surely heard me go through withdrawals when the little cranky thing decided to go on the blink.. had some interesting creations come out of there while it was dying a slow and painful death and I refused to let it go in peace. After a couple of unsuccessful repairs and last night taking the pizza dough out and mushing it by hand ( it turned out pretty yum actually ) .. well it was headed for the appliance addiction place in the sky when little ole Mechanic Dev, decided to take it all apart, screwdrivers and all and discovered the mystery ailment in the guise of a burnt out fan belt ---- yahooooo, so off to crappy tire tomorrow to locate a replacement - so baring any more unforeseen complications, we'll have fresh bread tomorrow night ahhh... life is good! Well that's about it for today. Smiling a bit more, and even the otter poop didnt get me down tonight - the two little babies are sooo damn cute, playing with their mom in the neighbour's pond - I had to smile... well for a moment, then I sicked darla on them.... Cheers bugzy ps.. how'd you like the colourful bloggy today - I think I have too much time on my hands... better get another job soon |
| Alright - that peroxide Ski -ster poured on my wound yesterday/this morn shock me into remission. So that's enough already. So onwards and upwards - so here in the lovely float house community in Maple Bay, we do things a bit differently. When a party is being had, instead of BYOB ( bring your own booze) we do BYOD - and that's (hey BYOB didnt come up for spell check hahahaha.. must be in the dictionary on here.. toooo funny) - sorry where was I? Oh yah.. BYOD stands for bring your own dock. The funniest sight and .. damn, wish I had taken a pic - was to look over at my neighbours and think something was definitely odd - where there used to be a fair sized dock with 2 umbrellas, there was now a huge dock with about 5 umbrellas..... I was perplexed to say the least and had to look a little closer. Seems one neighbour just rowed their dock over and tied up..... that was quite a sight and quite some party. Wonder why I wasn't invited..... hmmmm.. could be cause of the last time, I stopped over for a minute, I ended up helping to polish off 3 bottles of wine and didnt leave for a few hours.. Well either that or I wasn't invited because my dock isn't exactly portable; a few too many bolts attaching it - yah.. that's it - if you cant bring your own dock, you can't come over!! I am sticking to that theory  But another neighbour still loves me ( and we have drank together too before ) cause today when Dev and I walked up to the marina to hunt for chocolate chips ( didnt find any.. so no cookies today damn..) we bumped into him and he said he just went into our house and dropped off a crab he had just caught today. He boiled if first of course - thank goodness, didnt really want to come home and step on a live one!! or find it in a most inappropriate place in the middle of the night.... gotta love living in a place where you don't lock your doors and people drop off crabs.!!! How many folks on here can say that? So time to get out of my funk and be grateful for sunshine, neighbours bringing me crabs and a day without the otters pooping on my deck! What more can a gal ask for ?? Aren't you glad I cheered up to share all this drivel????? cheers bugzy ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ....is the word I used to describe my mood today. I am feeling a little lost - posted a poem about that.. you'd don't have to read it, it's too depressing, that's why I didn't post it on here. I had some moments of laughter earlier - some great encouraging emails and read a couple of postings in gallinago's port - man he is a funny dude. (not sure why his name came up funny..hmmm.. oh well, you get who it is) I sat outside tonight with my laptop and worked for a bit until it got too chilly. It was so lovely out there. The water was calm and sparkley. The reflection of the trees was startling with its clarity and beauty. The birds were floating around, chirping and it was funny watching all the baby fish snacking on the poor oblivious bugs hoping on the water. It was calm and peaceful - and I tried to stay in the moment of serenity.... But I feel empty inside. It's like when you hold to a vision on things that are supposed to be a certain way, or a plan that is supposed to be enacted, and then all of a sudden, it's gone. So quickly - in a blink of an eye really. I am lost. I have no direction at the moment. It's like I am going through the motions, trying to work, trying to keep a cheery face on, making meals and watering the garden. But my heart is just flat lining today. No other way to describe it really. Sorry to be such a downer. It's unusual for me to stay sad for long - so I'm sure I'll be back to my bratty self soon enough. I was going to make this entry private, as I feel like at the moment that I just need to sit in my crap for awhile and don't mean to subject you all to it really - but I can't figure it out. Oh, one lovely thing happened to me the other day, that I keep forgetting to mention, my friend bkcompton awarded me a bunch of cnotes from ~*~Damiana Returned~*~ They're really great - not sure what to do with them really - apparently I am supposed to put them in my port for people to buy - but that makes my head hurt. So I think I'll just save them and pass them out to my friends.. so stay tuned, as soon as I figure out how to get them out of my email and into my port, I'll share them.Ok.. well again, I'll work for a bit - this smut novel I am editing is a fairly good distraction that's for sure  .. then another day's down or done I meant.So just slide by or send a smile.... I'll be back soon enough, don't worry And try to keep it down.. sheesh ...You american's were noisy today!! How's a person supposed to stay depressed with all that partying going on down there??? xo bugz ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| 1) Ski -ster 's not at work today - so who's gunna boss me around when I say some crap he doesn't agree with? 2) a quote from Bambi - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 3) I am in a funk and I said a long time ago, in my now defunked blogging rules, that I was not going to blog about the same thing 3 days in a row - so since I am still in a pissy mood I have to either not blog or change out of my pissy mood and I dont wanna do either, so there But the reasons TO blog out way the reasons NOT to blog 1) partyof5dj said he's not blogging til I tell what happened to the arm I cut off yesterday (and man that is some kinda pressure - have you seen how many peeps he has??? craziness!) 2) if I don't blog I won't get any mail, since I don't write much crap poetry these days, and don't review much either, blog mail is pretty much it these days, not that I'm complaining - in fact the contrary - if I didn't get blog mail, I will cry even more!! and I am getting tired of crying 3) Some kind folks on here, don't let me stay too down on myself... in fact there are a few TOO many who made me laugh today in spite of myself and my seriously wanting to stay in my misery. Actually I am pretty pissed at those who tried to make me laugh... can't a gal be miserable without all you happy folks trying to cheer me up?? What's up with that. AND all you saying you disagree with my current self assessment. Is that supposed to make me feel better??? Well, crapola, I guess it does.. well sort of. Ok, I am not 'blaming' myself for the demise of my current life situation, well not completely anyway. But I have decided, just in the last few minutes actually that I am not going to cut off my arm, contrary to what I threatened yesterday ( so you can breathe now partyof5dj I think it was just a surface wound.) I am planning on remaining pretty damn good friends with the someone who I felt I had cohearsed into my little pit of seduction ... as long as he wants to remain friends .. which I think he does. It didn't work out, but I feel it's important for my heart and my soul to not cut people out of my life even if I think it's for their own good. I'll let them decide. Someone said to me ,damn was it that partyof5dj dude again, who said, "STOP warning people of your past and let them treat you without any preconceived notions. They're probably trying too hard, knowing you're putting up a barrier before they even get the chance." Hmm and he got that from an online psych course he took I think... Pretty smart people on here. I am finding out. Lots of good thoughts: taking it one day at a time, and quit making excuses that I don't do forever. I thought that was a little life philosophy that only I hung out with.. seems even guys married 30 years, say the same thing. Ok, so you only have to beat me a few times ( ok you can a few more times.. I kinda like it heehee... hey, I'm NOT smiling ok?? sheesh!!) But maybe I get it. But probably in a few more bloggies, you will have to remind me again. You guys are up for that though right?? Yah you are... that's what friends are for. And I sure gotta a bunch of good ones. Ok.... gunna work for a bit longer here, then off to zzz. Have a great holiday you guys. We had ours a few days ago - why are you always behind us Canadians eh?? Step it up a bit.. but don't go and blow up too many fireworks and catch anyone on fire ok? I don't wanna have to come down there and do cpr again!! But on the other hand, I am getting rusty...... ok, i respond to false alarms too ..just in case cheers ( ok a little cheers ... not a big one ) bugz ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| My mind is fuzzy and full of such conflicting thoughts. My purge from yesterday met with some interesting comments. I didn't write it as a something poetic, to which some people said, "great poem". That surprised me. I wrote it as a way to get that crappy feelings out of my body and my mind. The hardest comments are dealing with people who disagree with my thoughts. I think there is validity to my feeling that I have an evil side that cause pain to others who step into my path. I don't think I do it on purpose... no.. I am sure I don't do it on purpose, but the reality of the outcome is still the same. It's interesting to read how others view me. It's sometime so different than I see myself. Who is right in this case?? hmmmm... more to ponder. I hurt people who love me. Ok, I get hurt too - but I hurt others more. I was trying to explain this earlier and I don't think I can get the point out how I mean exactly - but somehow I do feel somewhere down inside that I have more responsibility to act better toward people than others - partly due to my VAST experience, partly due to my inner 'smarts'. I think I know better. I think that I have more gut instincts than others. I know myself and my history better than those who meet me. I do warn those people about my past and my lack of stability in this area. But they don't listen. I say, I have never done "forever", and can't promise, but they don't listen. They say, you just haven't met the right one. But it's not that. I think there is no right one. I think you can make it work with anyone if you just try hard enough. But something in me gives up. I think I gave up too early this time again. It didn't even stand a chance. Things popped up and I just freaked. I have this old saying I heard once- if you need to have your arm removed - is it better to use a butter knife and saw it off slowly, or better to use an axe and chop it off quickly? I usually opt for the butter knife. This time I used an axe. Both are painful, I don't care what anyone says. And the blood pours out just as much. I will need more time to sift through all this conflict inside me. So bare with me. Or take a vacation and come back and see me in a few days. Maybe I will have sorted out some more crap by then. Thanks though.. for your comments and attempts at  ingI really appreciate you all .. more than you know. bugz ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
The small print just got larger “Stay away… I am evil” This warning shall be heeded I’ll take no more victims I’ve said, may times, be wary Don’t become another statistic In the growing list Of men left in my dust But you don’t listen Saying no, this can’t be true But it is – trust me and promises I make I won’t keep – that you can believe I have razor blades protruding From every inch of my soft skin I will cut you with my touch My wet tongue will slice you in half Your heart will lay ruptured On the floor like shards of glass And cut your knees as I make you crawl Out of my life The devil has its hold on me My sensual kisses filled with a curse The witch’s spell seeps From my body; you have no chance My love is like a drug Poisonous and consuming But it will eventually drown you And you won’t see it coming My passion is your undoing You will suffocate Your final breath coming in a spurt Still denying my crimes The small print just got larger “Stay away… I am evil” This warning shall be heeded I will take no more victims |
| I went on a little sojourn last week - a highlight was meeting up with fellow author Serenity What a doll - we laughed so hard for two days I was sure they were going to cart us both away. How blessed I am to have met her here and I am certain we will meet up again! Here we are at the "start" of a long night of drinks, laughter, fabulous food, more drinks and a LOT more laughter. I have some 'boob' pics but perhaps will save them for another day heehee ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Good friends... good times... yahoo. Look for us both on book stands everywhere! cheers bugzy ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
So it's official - my smut piece won first place in Serenity's contest
and so has been picked up by Amira Press. So look out world this gal is going for the trash now - no more heart wrenching sentimental poetry for me, it is the good stuff all the way to the bank! Thanks for those who read and made suggestions. I have found my calling! That's it for today ... that's enough excitement even for me. Oh except a quick thanks to ezseeker for gifting me a membership renewal, mine expires tomorrow and it was looking rough.. so now you are stuck with me for a whole year! yahoooooo Have a great holiday weekend all! cheers bugz ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| This is a state of mind or feeling that seems to elude me. I have, of course, had moments and even days - perhaps, dare I say, weeks of happiness but I don't think I really get what it is "for sure." I know it's all about that crap about it being inside me.. I get that but......I start off liking the idea of something or someone but somehow, sure enough, sooner than it should, it gets messed up along the way. And I lose it. For example - a new job. I hear about a new job and apply or get myself set up to do it - and I think about it a great deal, visualize what it will be like, study or research it , etcetc - go to the effort of getting it or pursuing it in some way - and then inevitably I get it ( I rarely have not gotten work I have applied for ... well ok, until I decided to so this writing crap full time!! ) but then again, within a relatively short time, I am find myself not happy with it. I start off happy for sure... but one thing happens, then another and all of a sudden out of the blue, I look around and think - what the hell am I doing?? I never can figure out what happened or what went wrong. I know I was happy when it first started out .. I have never started out with some new job or adventure without a sense of excitement or happiness - but it doesn't ever seem to last. I remember when I started to set up to create my yoga business. I spent so much time, first getting trained, then setting up a studio, advertising, getting students, more advertising, starting classes, getting more and more training, more and more classes, ... and it turned into a treadmill of stress and worry and more stress --- I used to say, I was the only yoga teacher who was stressed out beyond belief. But my point is, that I was so happy when I first had the vision of a yoga studio and what it would be like. And I was really happy doing it and the life I was creating and the relationship I was in at the time ( who was supportive of this 'career' choice.) But just like the relationship ( michael for those in the know ) I liked the 'idea' of all of it! I liked the vision I had of how it was supposed to be and the way my life was supposed to be... but the reality of it all, turned out to be significantly different than what I set up to do in the beginning. I guess with jobs it is the same as relationships - like the saying - the honeymoon phase. I guess jobs have that phase as well. Then a job just turns into a job regardless of how my passion you have when you start out. Seems no matter how you begin, the rose coloured glasses inevitably get fogged up and the faster I wipe them off the faster they refog! Devann said a couple of comments tonight that really hit home.... first she said to me, "If you are happy, Mommy then that is fine by me, and I am happy too." What a sweet and loving girl she is and I am reminded again how blessed I am to have her in my life to at least try to keep myself sane. But later when I admitted to be a bit grumpy the last few days - she said, "Oh Mommy, you aren't going to start being grumpy again are you?" She looked genuinely worried after that last statement as I tucked her into bed tonight ( that too is sweet beyond belief, less than a month before her 15th birthday and she wanted me to tuck her in and snuggle - (then she admitted to sneaking beer at my mom's a few days ago and getting drunk with her girlfriend and peeing outside... god.. help me!!!!!!!.. but i digresssssss)... looking into her eyes - it was like reliving all the hard times we have had together and I just wanted to crawl in a hole and not come out. I don't want to be grumpy again - we have had enough sadness her and I. And to see the concerned look on her face makes me resolve to some how hold myself together and not slip into sadness again. I received an email from an old galfriend today ... she was just checking in and sending a bit of her news. Well it was attached as a reply to an email I sent to her back in March. I reread my email and it was quite astounding to read about my ( and dev's ) happiness. The email was literally gushing off the screen... I had to go throw up after I read it hahahaha... but i talked on and on about how happy we were in our paradise. I had it in March. I want to hang on to it. Not sure if I know how. So anyone out there, who has figured out any or this... can you lend a hand? I am going to need it. Thank you...and sorry for the randomness of my blog - I am a few days behind, so all my thoughts are kinda mushed up. It made sense in my head before I started... now I am not so sure xo bugzy |
| So it's described as a virtue. But I think it is more like a commodity. It's something I don't seem to have enough of. So wouldn't it be great if I could just buy some more when I run out? I have a lot of other 'virtues' that do ok with - like passion, compassion and love, so when I low on patience, tolerance or acceptance, can't I just get more from somewhere or someone who has extra? I think that would be a great idea. Can someone out there come up with some sort of virtue store - kinda like a virtual store! haha I was wondering if we each get so much of each virtue when we are born and when we run out, we are done - or can we get more on our own? Or does it multiple somehow like ants? I am not sure when I ran out of patience or if I just didnt really get much of it in the beginning when they were handing it out. I remember losing my patience with my kids and at work with staff for one reason or another - even though I tried not to 'show' it. I get super impatient when small things go wrong - like when the internet is slow ( like right now....grrrrrr ) or even when I can't find something I am looking for at a store. I was living with my mom for 6 months earlier this year... and if I had any doubt about the lack of patience I had - that left no doubt. I went cuckoo living with her as I found myself becoming more and more intolerant of her 'quirks'. I said after I found myself having to move out ( which turned out to be a good thing as I wouldn't have bought my float house if she hadn't driven me crazy ) that I thought I was a better person than I found myself being. I always said I would help take care of my parents when they got older... but you never can say that until you have tried it!! So anyway... I am lacking a few virtues so it seems. If you have any spare or know where I can pick some up, let me know. Thanks friends Talk soon cheers bugz |
| A friend of mine, mentioned this to me the other day and I realized how in tune this was with my own experience. So you meet or see someone who is really attractive. You or more correctly, I, always seem to make the assumption that they are then a nice or a good person. I don't know why I automatically do that, but that is what usually happens. But then perhaps something negative happens and I no longer see that person as so beautiful. They surely are the exactly the same on the outside as they were before - but somehow I 'see' them differently - their appearance is somehow tainted by their actions or personality. Then maybe I meet someone who perhaps is not so physically attractive but then after some time, because of how they turn out to be inside as a person, their appearance takes on whole different dimension. Suddenly their internal goodness, seems to take over their appearance and I see them as much more beautiful than before- even more so than the person who I initially thought was so attractive on the onset. Again, certainly nothing physical has transpired - so how is it that I 'see' them so differently? Our, or again, more correctly, my, perceptions seem to change over time and are influenced by my actual interactions or experiences with people. Again this sort of reflection, helps me understand and maintain my open mindedness and to release some of my judgements. I always want to say I am not judgemental - but that is a falsehood. Judgements happen all the time - even with out me really even being conscience of them. And I used to think all judgements were bad - but today I think it is ok to have certain preconceived notions - they are just inside me - and instead of fighting them or ignoring them or denying them, I will just admit they are there - but also try to keep an open mind and allow those judgements of preconceived notions to change and perhaps to dissipate . Not sure where I was going with this really - I just hope others who may hold judgement about me, or about what I may do from time to time - if they have them, will still be open to 'see' things differently once they see the results of what I do. I try to do no harm and I try to keep in a loving space. I think that is the best I can do cheers bugz |
| I really cannot count the number of times, when I have been struck down with fear and thinking I was unable to step through it. So many times I have just wanted to stop dead in my tracks or retreat under a blanket somewhere (alone.... for those of you who's minds are in the gutter - where mine usually is - but not this time - well maybe in a minute - ok stop interrupting). Ski said it perfectly in his blog a few days ago - so I won't try to describe the fear part - we have all been there - but what I want to try and describe is the moving through part and the getting to the other side. Here's a recent example. I was on media tour last year in Whistler BC which is a huge ski resort. As part of the 'package' we were invited to go Zip Trekking. Well I had heard of if through a galfriend one time and my first reaction was - no bloody way will I EVER go on something like that. I won't even do the tea cup ride at the Fair - or the carousel for that matter!! I am a super chicken. Well the rest of the gang were all going and it was quite expensive and didn't figure I would ever have the opportunity to go again - a) for the money and b) because it just would not present itself into my life .... so I decided to go and at least 'watch'. So they take you up to a little baby trial run first - really short you are only 10 feet about the ground and the 'trek' is probably about 200 feet at the most. They put a big horkin harness around you, a hard hat and boots. And it was freezing cold too - so jackets, mitts, togues etc were all recommended. The best part really was the cutie australia boys who ran the exhibition and helped you on with your harness.. yahooo ... right then I thought hmmm... I can so do this! So the bunny run turned out pretty good - it was scary but also a little adrenalin rush happened so I thought... ok.. plus when you end the run they basically stop you by grabbing your legs and hanging on - so this adventure was getting better and better! (for us girls anyway). Then we took a bus up the mountain - we got a little speech about the eco-friendlyness of hacking little tree houses into old growth forest trees and strapping up giant cables and throwing people down them at 60 miles an hour, but I didn't want to be a party pooper - so I kept my mouth shut ( I know )... so a 20 minute ride straight up the mountain - brought us to another spot - were we moved into a 4 wheel drive for the last 10 minutes straight up the mountain - with ears popping - it was quite exciting already. The hike in was exhilarating - cool snowy air, heart pumping, following cute boys and still the edge of fear. We had to walk up quite a few wooden stairs to get to the platform high in the tree tops. One by one, they threw us offthis treehouse and one by one we went shooting down into the forest below. We did this 6 times - each time involved a trek of about 10 minutes up the mountain, through the forest and up more wooden steps. Each time I did it I got a little bit more brave - each time I did it, I felt that much more empowered. By the last run when they told us to let go and hang upside down by our feet - I was the first in line!! It was singularly the most exciting thing I have ever done!! The cuties were having quite a good laugh on the way down as they said they had never seen such a transition from a person being completely dumbstruck and petrified to someone who was trying to sneak back on the next bus so I could go again!! I was on a high for weeks after that day - I meant to write about it - oh well - someday I will! I would not describe myself as a very brave person, or one who likes extreme sports or the rush of danger, I dont watch any scary movies or even suspense - I dont feel that I am a risk taker in many regards - but every single time without fail - when I have taken that leap of faith ( even literally ) I have always, without a doubt, been a better person when I come out from the other side. As petrifying as it seems at the beginning, it is always proven to be worth it in the end. So join me - throw yourself off a mountain today - do that one thing that freaks you out - let me know it goes. I am a pretty damn happy gal today - cheers and smiles bugz ps.. here I am zippping away yahoooo... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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