In here you will find many things that may shock and amaze you. There are other things you may find that will knock your socks off. All in all I am sure you will get something out of this.
Oh, this is such a drag! I know how you feel. I spilled coffee on my laptop a couple weeks ago and lost everything, to--all my graphics for my sig shop, all my cNotes, all my stories (thank the Lord I backed those up), family photos--everything. I feel your pain.
I was told by the girl at Circuit City that data can be recovered, but she never mentioned it would be "in the thousands of dollars." You would think if it was going to cost that much she would have said something. I chose not to pursue that avenue. I reloaded what I could and remade what I couldn't. It totally sucked--days of sitting here installing, downloading, etc., but I got 'er done.
Boy, does this sound familiar! I went through this exact same shit with my oldest daughter, right down to removing her bedroom door. It sucks, it's hard, it's exhausting on every level that something can be exhausting ... but it will get better, I promise you.
My daughter lied, cheated, stole things, ran away, called me every name in the book (and I mean every name in the book), threw things, physically abused me and her siblings, was sexually promiscuous, used drugs, drank, and eventually landed herself in juvenile prison (not juvenile detention ... PRISON) on three separate osscaions and in several foster homes (at my request). Thank God I am the way I am, for little she did shook me. I was always calm and she knew from the start I wouldn't put up with much. When she would abuse me or her siblings I would call the cops. When she vandalized the neighborhood, I called the cops, if she ran from the cops and I knew where she was, I called the cops. I thought then and still believe now that I did the right thing, for isn't it my responsibility as a mother to teach my children that there are consequences for their actions?
Now she's 22, and she's completely turned her life around: she now has a child of her own, works full time, and busts her ass to support that baby (she's a single mom).
Things will get better, darlin'. I know that's not much consolation now, but hopefully it gives you a little hope. Be confident in the fact that you are a good mother, you are a good person, you are doing the best you can, and they will come around. Heck, my daughter and I have a great relationship now. She even named her son after me (we have the same middle name).
"He came into the program a broken man and left whole."
Simply beautiful.
Although these entries are over two years old, I am working my way up. Start at the beginning, I say. So I must get going. I have a lot of reading to do.
Stay strong. Your family and friends love you, and you have a new one in me. Fuck what everyone else thinks about your lesbianism and your involvement in Wicca. You live your life for you and your loved ones. Draw upon that inner strength that I know you have in you and love yourself enough to heal. You ARE worthy, and the world is a better place with you in it.
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