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My writing ramblings and ramblings about writing. May sometimes contain explicit content. |
| This is my place to rant and rave, muse and explore different aspects of myself as a writer. I'll be testing out snippets of scenes for my stories, sharing writing articles and sharing my thoughts on writing. |
| Sorry I've been MIA for a few months. The house I was living in burned down. Nobody was home at the time, thank goodness but the insuance company has all my stuff, computer, desk, books etc and I've only recently been able to pick up a laptop to get back online and back to writing. Their taking their sweet time getting my stuff back or at least giving me the money to replace it all. Stupid insurance people. Oh well, I'm back now, living in a new place and back to writing! Amen! |
| Hey guys, I'm doing my sister a favor. She's looking for volunteers for a study she's doing for university. The study involves questions on Perfectionism, Media Exposure and Body Satisfaction. It's a series of 67 questions and should only take a few minutes of your time. The questions and consent form are in Word format so I can forward it to your e-mail addy once you let me know here that you're interested in participating and I will forward your answers on to her. Hope you guys can help us out. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I'm about halfway through ch 26 of Four Winds and decided that I needed to take a break for today. Five pages and now I feel a wee bit introspective. My ultimate dream would be to make a living as a writer. A common dream around here, I know. For a while, it seemed simply that, a dream, unattainable. Until I started paying more attention to freelancing. I'd always heard that word thrown around growing up but never really understood what freelancing actually meant. Then I learned and it still seemed like some abstract thing. I write fiction. I had no interest in writing for magazines and the like. I don't have experience in much besides writing fiction and my day job which involves housekeeping for a hospital/elderly home. What could I possible write about? Freelancing was not for me. Now, I think I may be able to actually do it. I've read about the different opportunities, not just magazines but promotion, greeting cards, short stories, recipes and thanks to the internet, info and topics are literally at your fingertips. I still don't know if I could do it, and certainly not sure well enough to actually live off it but for now, while I'm working at my day job and while I'm writing/editing my novel, I think I'd like to give it a try. My question is, as a beginner what do I need to know? Where can I get started? I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. |
| I feel like I should apologize for the coming rambles but I'm not going to since this is a journal and besides sharing all the fun stuff, that's what it's here for. So I give you a wee peek into my head right now. I changed my userinfo on another journal from actress/writer to just writer cause I feel at my core, that is what I am. A writer. I'm a good actress. I know this and have been told this. But can you be good at something that frightens you? Can you live and pursue a profession that fills you with anxiety 95 percent of the time? People tell me when I'm performing, they can't tell I'm nervous. I guess it doesn't come across but inside, I'm a wreck. I'm afraid everything I do or think up looks wrong or stupid. Mostly, when I'm in character, I'm fine but it's the preparation moments and thinking about getting up there that fills me with fear. And everytime I iamgine going somewhere or doing something acting related, I dread it. It's such a love/hate thing I can't explain it in a way that makes sense to anyone but me. I worry that if I did try to pursue that life, it would have to be on anti-anxiety medication. I don't want to be the cliche of the actress who pops pills. Writing is such a different thing for me. It fills me with such joy that only another writer could possibly understand. It's hard, no doubt but there is such a peace that is inside me when I write, (even the smutty or violent stuff) I enter a zone when I write, it's like I'm channeling something. Me. The me that I really am underneath all the fear and insecurity and dissapointments. The me that lives for nothing more than telling a damn good story. I'm not Shakespeare. I'm not Faulkner. I'm not Dickens. I'm not even Atwood. but I'm not trying to be. I'm writing what I love. What I love to read. Take it, or leave it. I feel I fit this profession like no other. I'm a solitary person. I always have been. I feel no loneliness, I don't think I ever have and have no desire to always be surrounded by people. Most people don't understand this. I think only another writer would really get it. I live for those moments I can sit at my keyboard or have a book and pen in my hand and the ideas just pour out. I've always been able to spin a yarn. I think I'm lucky then most kids and now adults have been in that I have always known what I wanted to be. I never had that floundering moment where I wonder what I'm going to do with my life. Since I was five I wanted to be an actress. Since I was eleven I wanted to be a writer. The question was never, what am I gonna do with my life? But how am I gonna choose? Cause I know the choice would have to be made someday, though I know there are those who feel I can do both. I can't. Writing is winning the race. I want nothing to come between me and my writing. Selfish. Yes but that is what I feel. I want nothing in my life but to write and have a place to do it. I want this more than a relationship, marriage or children. The idea of never marrying, never having children, even never finding someone to love romantically doesn't fill me with the sadness that never writing again does. I can't imagine not writing and I think it is that which has made the decision for me. I can live without being up there on your movie screen or tv set. I can't live without being able to sit here and writing. That may sound weird to people. Chosing to sit and write over going out and getting some but that's what separates some passionate writers from the rest of the human race. There is really nothing we'd rather be doing than writing. I want a t-shirt that says "I'd rather be writing"(smiles) I go outside to work and be sociable so my family and friends don't forget what I look like, but rest assured that in my head, I'm writing. Plots are being formed and characters created. I read a book recently called The Writer On Her Work by Janet Sternburg and it was a collection of essays by women writers on their writing lives. These are my people. These are the people who understand exactly what goes on in my head and I felt a kinship with them that no one would understand but another woman writer. I think that what also makes the decision for me is that I have so many unfinished manuscripts and unformed ideas that the idea that I won't get to write them all in my lifetime just breaks my heart. Four Winds was started back in 99 and it has taken me all this time (mostly due to laziness, I honestly admit) to get it half edited. The elation I had when I finished the first draft was like nothing I ever experienced. I was a fool for days. The idea that my next book (Dreams Of Gold-Book One of The Brass Ring Series) could take that long frightens me. There is a push in me to get my stories out. To get them written before I die. Logically, I know that there is no human way I will ever be able to write all the stories I have both in unfinished form(over a hundred in my file cabinet) and in my head but there is nothing logical about this writing monster that breathes on my back. And I illogically resent anything that gets in the way of my writing. Would I come to resent acting? I think so, I don't know. Even with my fanfiction, I see the possibility for original novels or parts being used for original novels. I'll never publish them all. I know this and yet I keep going. Keep writing cause I think if I didn't. I'd have nothing. There are those I love and care for and yet I don't think I could live even for them if I couldn't write. That sounds crazy and extreme to my own ears so I can only imagine how it sounds to those who don't have the writing monster on their own backs. Yet I embrace this monster cause he gives me peace. A peace I thought I'd lost back in 1999. So I'm a writer. Will I be an actress someday? I don't know. The wonderful thing about life is that the only thing that ends life is death. As long as I'm alive, I have possibility and opportunities for anything. Maybe there will be a day where I can feel as comfortable acting as I am writing and if that happens, I shall try again to get up there on your movie screen or your stage or your television set. But for now, I'm a writer and it feels more me than anything has in my 29 years of life. I'm me first. Before I am a sister or daughter or friend. And this me is a writer. I think that will always be true. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Does your writing style irritate you sometimes? What I mean is, when you're reading your writing and you know that there are better ways to write a certain sentence or a certain scene. I read some writers and there style is so...vivid and moving. They use words so beautifully and it reads like magic. Then I look at my own stuff and I try to make it the best it can be but I find myself being lazy and falling into easy patterns and tried and true phrases, instead of trying to make my writing vibrant Their stuff seems so polished while mine makes me want to poke my eyeballs with a fork...which I hear is rather painful.. I know it's laziness and yet I can't for the life of me think of a better way to write that certain phrase and I just want to kick my own ass. Sometimes writing is a real bitch. |
| Finally got all moved in and settled in my new place and it took me two weeks but I'm back online! I've missed this place and all of ya'll muchly. I missed reading and reviewing all the kick ass writers and lordy have I missed writing. Well, let me rephrase, I missed posting as thank goodness Word doesn't need to be online to work so I was able to do a lot of writing without being distracted by the urge to poke around online. I've posted chapter five of my Four Winds novel. If ya'll have a minute swing by and let me know what you think. God help me, I'm never moving again. If I do it'll be because: a) I've published my novel for a six figures and am buying my own house (laughs) b) I've won the lottery and am buying my own house. (laughs harder) I think I will write a story someday where a serial killer goes on a movers rampage. (grumbles) |
| I have never stayed longer than 3 years in any one place. I've lived on so many streets, they should really just name the whole city after me. Tomorrow, I'll be continuing the tradition. I'm going to be renting the mommy's basement which I'm feeling back and forth on. Part of me is not happy about it cause I'm fiercely independent and love my privacy. On the other hand, I do like spending time with her and the place is closer to work and cheaper. Those are the two big draws. I figure if it just gets too hard to live with, I'll just do move number 46663920. (laughs) I'm not sure how long it will take me to get my internet back up in my new place so I just wanted to let ya'll know that I haven't disappeared. I'll miss this place muchly and will hopefully be back soon! |
| I see this all the time. "Write What You Know." As if somehow only your life experience is the thing you should be writing about or you won't be taken seriously as a writer. This is fine for some people if that's what they want but why should it be the only option? My imagination is filled with different characters and plots. People I don't know, lives I've never lived but the adventures in my head come pouring out on paper or on the screen and I become so eager to get them down. This doesn't happen when I contemplate taking stories simply from my own life. Maybe someday I'll write my autobiography but to me it would be only marginally as interesting as the stories I imagine. Writing about my life in my city, on my street. Or writing about thrilling plots and fascinating people. For me, there's no contest. Now, mind you sometimes I do throw in little tidbits of myself and my personal knowledge here and there but if I only wrote about my own life, well, I'm 29. It'd be a rather short book. Also, isn't doing research and incorporating it into your fiction, 'writing what you know'? If I want to set my novel in Paris but I've never been to Paris (I am a writer after all)(laughs) and I look up details about Paris to make the city come alive, don't I now know it? Aren't I writing about what I know if I've learned about it? Something to think about for those people who look down on those who like to branch out of their hometown and reside in the land of make-believe. |
| Does anybody else find that when you're sick, that's when you feel like writing the most? I'm not sure why it is but I find when I'm not feeling well, I'm itching to write and I tend to write a lot when this happens. I woke up with a cold which kept me home and even through my fuzzy achy brain, I felt inspired to write. I churned out five pages in a short time which for me is a lot. Why does inspiration strike the strongest when you either don't have time or your sick? It's bizarre. I can have a day off and e twiddling my thumbs, unable to be moved to get out a chapter but the minute I go back to work or am busy or sick, the muse is biting my ankles, demanding I write. On another note, I'm really enjoying the newsletters this site sends. I get stories and great links and articles delievered straight to my inbox. Really great. Feeling a little bit better so I think I'm gonna do some reading around here and catch up on some fanfiction too. Work beckons tomorrow. Bleh. |
| Went out shopping yesterday and picked up a few romance novels along with three writing books: The 2007 edition of the Guide To Literary Agents Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott a book on writing and the writers life What Would Your Character Do by Eric and Ann Maisel which just looks like the coolest thing ever. It's a book on personality quizzes that you use to develop your characters! I'm applying for a receptionist job with Coach House Books here in Toronto. I'd love any job at all in the publishing industry to watch where the magic happens. I'll be putting up another chapter of my novel in my portfolio and I'm thinking of adding a piece of erotica I wrote a very long time ago. I also picked up the latest issues of Vanity Fair and Vogue. I use fashion magazines for characters for my novels and their clothes etc, it helps to have visual aids to make the descriptions more vivid. My favorite for this is InStyle though because they have such a wide variety of things, clothes, acessories and home decor. I kept telling myself I need to subscribe but I always end up forgetting and just picking it up at the store. I'll be working on the next chapter of Four Winds today. I have a truckload of Battlestar Galactica fanfiction I'd also like to put up here (a lot of it is erotica) if anyone is interested. I notice there isn't a lot of BSG up here so I thought I'd add my pieces. I'm also thinking of putting all my unfinished stuff up here too to hopefully get more of a kick in the ass to finish it all cause really, procrastination is my middle name, though looking at how prolific I've been over the years, you wouldn't know it! (laughs) |
| I have more story ideas than I know what to do with. It's freaky really, my brain is constantly thinking up plots. It's a wonder I made it through school at all! (laughs) I can make a plot out of anything, really. I can look at a pair of glasses or a pencil and it'll give a story idea. I don't think that's very normal, having a mind that is constantly zipping along with plots and characters but I really wouldn't have my mind any other way. My greatest fear is any kind of mental disease where my mind will deteriorate. I could handle a physical illness but not something where I will lose my mind and this wonderful gift of imagination that I have. It's much too precious to me. I have more ideas than I will ever live to develop. My idea folders are constantly full, kind of like my To Be Read book piles. I have dozens of unfinished novels. If I never come up with another idea, I could easily keep myself busy throughout my lifetime just on the ideas I have in progress now and in my folders. It's wonderfully exhausting. After Four Winds, I already have my next novel three quarters of the way done. I haven't been bored a day in my life since I was 11 and first began to write. I know I'm not normal. I'm a writer and that's a lot more fun. |
| I will read anything short of crime novels...and manuals on nuclear fusion. My 'To Be Read' pile has never (and probably will never) see an end. I cannot pass a bookstore without going in, I'm addicted to Ebay's book section and thank God for those 5 for $1.00 bins in front of the gift shop at work. Sometimes I'm in the mood to read romance novels, sometimes epic saga's, sometimes women's glamour fics. Sometimes, I bypass fiction all together and going on a 'writing book/magazine' frenzy. I devour anything about the writing process and writers lives. This is usually followed by a long fruitful writing spree as I am muchly inspired. Authors I buy without hardly ever having to read the back covers are: Paullina Simons (The Bronze Horseman Trilogy) An exquisite love story set in WW2 Russsia. Her writing style has a wonderful lyrical quality. It's so very rich and moving. Diana Gabaldon (The Outlander Series) A time travel love story with a gorgeous 18th century Scotsman.She writes in such a way that you are experiencing the history along with the characters instead of just going on with long expositions of historical data. Edward Rutherford(sp?) His historical novels are incredible. Rich and full. Julia Quinn: Wonderfully romantic, sexy and funny as well. Nicole Jordan: She's a bit steamier than your regular romance novelist, she's almost closer to erotica. Absolutely gorgeous love stories. This is a such a short list and no where near all my favorites but they're among my sure bets. |
Okie, here I go. My name is Nancy and I'm 29 years old. I've been writing since I was 11 and my creative brain has no off switch. My muse is an adorably sexy little tightly muscled viper pilot in leather pants and grey and brown tanks to show off the aforementioned muscles. He sits at my feet and is not above biting my ankle to get my attention when I'm trying to ignore him and he wants me to write. Usually he has to but bat his blue eyes at me and I'm putty to his will. I write a lot of fanfiction, mostly 2003 BSG (if you didn't get that from my muse up there) and Horatio Hornblower. In fanfiction I write a lot of what's termed as OFC's. (Original Female Characters) I'm working on getting my first novel published Four Winds Of Heaven which I'm starting to put up here in my portfolio for your perusal. Have a look if you'd like. I considered myself a real writer the day I got my first rejection letter. (laughs) I came across writing.com a few weeks ago and I'm so glad I did. This is a wonderful place and everyone seems really nice. I look forward to getting to know every one and if you ever want a peek into my brain, feel free to drop by and say hi! |
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