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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/1063387-Modus-Operandi/month/8-1-2022
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1063387
Acquired situational narcissism, hopelessly vague. It's like I have to do it. [finished.]
This blog is completed. Well, as complete as it was going to be.

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by A Guest Visitor






This isn't what it looks like. It's probably worse.


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


If you're here, there's a good chance you already know me. There aren't a lot of people who will put themselves through this for no good reason.
For those of you just tuning in:

25
female
west Harlem (just off Broadway! *Laugh*) but headed for Jersey City!


Anything you absorb you will ultimately secrete. It's inevitable. Most of us are original paintings, and it's a mystery as to what is learned and what is borrowed, what is stolen and what is born, what you came in with and what you found while you were here.
~ Tom Waits



Life in the big city isn't all as good or as bad as it seems, but I feel such a wide range of emotion in a day that if I don't write some of it down I'm going to go fucking batshit sooner rather than later.
I am at a point where I need somewhere to just talk about how I feel.
I'm conflicted, I'm a complex creature, an original painting, and I need somewhere to put it all because it's not really up there with the sort of thing I want in "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. but still merits mention.
I have to evaluate my feelings outside of the context of background and life and the lies we all tell ourselves because we have to tell them.
This is just what I'm feeling and what I'm listening to, a piece of me in all my futility. This is me. This is the inside of my head. (Hey, you're the one reading this.)

This is a place for peeling away the surface and letting out some of the uncontrollable emotions in a place where I feel safe baring myself.
Pandora's Tupperware Collection, if you will.
Open it up, you'll never be the same. The emotions are raw and often unexplained. I mean it when I say vague. If you email me and I think you reeeeeally need to know-- you'll know.

I don't delete from this book and often I'll open up secret entries after the expiration date on them has passed, so who knows what you'll find in here...


I used to write here at least once a day, unless there were extenuating circumstances, but please, I live in New York City with a laptop that has wireless enabled.
Theoretically there are no excuses.
Extenuating circumstances tend to be forgetfulness, drunkenness, and random emotional delirium and detritus getting in the way of accomplishing things.
And they happen with increased and downright disturbing frequency, so holding myself to a daily entry is obvious folly.


For those of you looking for a more substantial look at the hows and whys rather than just the what:
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by A Guest Visitor




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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/item_id/1063387-Modus-Operandi/month/8-1-2022