Porthole

Listen... and a 'perfect day'

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Space Blog  (ASR) Cruising WDC cyberspace and raiding ports for blog prompts! #2223838 by SharmellesLovableExpressions

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Mini-review: A new work by a newbie. Didactic with rhythm for the first six lines... and then? It abandons any poetic devices.

1. Eliminate all uses of the/is/are. Only put them back after a severe edit and only if needed. For instance 'is overwhelming' is weak when compared to 'overwhelms'.
2. The first part sets up a rhythm. This could be repeated in 6 more lines that start with 'open up your heart' (same beat) for lines 7.9.11 alternating with lines of 5-7 syllables for lines 8.10.12. Read out loud. Keep the rhythm in your head like music (think rap).
3. You could end with a couplet like:
         allow your heart to speak; (6 syllables)
         hear the answers that you seek. (6 syllables)

As is I give it a 2.5. It promises so much! Then fails. Edited it could be a 4.2. As a didactic poem it gives advice... nice... but evokes no emotion.

Prompt: Write your views about listen.

It's not that listening to your heart and letting it guide is necessarily bad advice, but too many of us get into trouble when our heart says, yes! yes! yes! while we ignore our brains and our friends and our family and our lawyers yelling, no! no! no!

Better to listen to how your heart responds to Scripture and allow that to guide, but even then ... use common sense ... as Life ain't no recipe in a cookbook.

The prompt for "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  was "a perfect day". I responded (edited) to Robert Waltz :

"I'm bored at home... so on the road...

Hostel with respectful guests (that's the norm; the exception is insoportable).

Night: dark, cold, quiet. Hot, noisy, with lights on? Nope.

Morning: I like places with full English breakfast or at least variety. If I have a good breakfast I'm mostly okay. I'll want a coffee.

Then? Whatever. I've been in places where I went out with others or met someone along the way. But wandering alone is okay. I like to share when I get back. I Strangers, especially travelers and staff. If I want to be totally alone? Better to just stay at home.

I tend not to over-schedule myself when I travel. Wandering down alleys, through gardens, noticing wildlife and pets... good enough for me!

Any day can be perfect if you're open to what it freely offers."

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