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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/997280-Its-me-Zoe-275
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #982524
Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation.
#997280 added October 31, 2020 at 10:14pm
Restrictions: None
It's me, Zoe [275]
The first line is for
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30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS Open in new Window. (13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer Author IconMail Icon


There was a strange sound coming from under the bed of course. Spot and Cookie always fought over the heating grate. They prefered that to warming my cold feet!

My feet were forever cold.

"Born blue", "My blue baby", my mother was constantly surprised that I'd survived. "We dressed him in red to warm him up", my father would add, "like a mini Santa". Yes my birthday was the 23rd of December. They named me Navidad.

Now they never mention it without crying. "Felix Navidad was such a beautiful young boy until..." Until what mom and dad? Until the day I ran away or was it the day I told you I was trans and wanted you to call me Zoe? Or was it the day you got 'the call'.

Do you want me to remind you?

"So sorry but your daughter was in an accident." Accident my ass. My brakes were cut and everyone knows it. "It's better this way," they all lamented. Better for whom? Not for me! I'd just had implants and now they were leaking just like the rest of me. I could show you pictures. Yes, they have pictures. But you didn't want to look, didn't even want to come to the hospital until grandma begged you.

Was it the day I died? No, you felt relief. Was it the moment I revived and gave grandma a heart attack?

Sorry about that, Nana, but you wouldn't let me go!

So, I stayed. As blue as ever. My feet forever cold. I'd ask Spot and Cookie to join me. They know I'm still here. But cats... they do as they will. Cookie will lick my cheek and Spot meows as if I could answer. If I ever wake up I will. It's odd knowing what's going on and not being able to tell you 'where to go'. If I ever walk again I'll run away, run away from you and 'Felix', your beautiful boy. I'll take grandma with me.

She sits with me you know. Never did leave me except for her funeral. I think she was curious. She smiles a lot. Spot and Cookie knows she's there. Thankfully you don't. They're all I have.

Flat on my back and hooked up like a Christmas tree, I plan. What else can I do? Last night I made a light flicker and rugs seem to slip out from under you. You change a bulb, swear you'll be careful next time you get out of the tub. You don't suspect it could be me.

No, it could be your beautiful boy. And it isn't. It's me, Zoe.

Now an item:
 
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It's me, Zoe [275] (480 words) Open in new Window. (18+)
If you've run away once... can you run away again? For Taboo contest, October 2020.
#2236724 by Kåre เลียม Enga Author IconMail Icon

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/997280-Its-me-Zoe-275