Complex Numbers

Fail

Entry #4 for

Journalistic Intentions  (18+) This is for the journal keeping types that come to PLAY! New round starts July 1! #2213121 by Turkey DrumStik

Dr. Fail

Could be a Bond villain name, right? I mean, it would give away the ending, but really, you know Bond's going to win and the other guy's going to... well... fail... anyway, so why not?

Anyway, I got curious and looked up the origin of the name Fail. Turns out it's Scottish,  , which I'm sure will amuse any British readers to no end.

That hyperlink also shows the Fail Coat of Arms. You know, the family crest, with all the heraldic shit.

I really wish I had Photoshop skills right now, because I could come up with a far more appropriate and amusing crest. Appropriate and amusing, that is, to anyone not named Fail. That helmet, for example, would have a halberd stuck in it. Maybe add the dog from Duck Hunt that laughed like an idiot every time you failed. Perhaps bagpipes with a hole in the bag. Or modernize it with a drawing of a motorcycle wreck.

I know, I know, it's rude to make fun of peoples' last names. You should be proud of your last name, even if it's Fail. I'm certain the family has a proud history. I mean, hell, it's produced at least one doctor.

And yet, we can't help it, can we? Funny names are funny. There's the story of a Dr. A. Hedgeh, for example, who apparently had a problem with people adding "og" to his nameplate. I can't do it justice here, but have a link to the result: https://i.redd.it/zwt1s91nkuz01.jpg

This being the internet, of course, it's entirely possible that the Dr. Hedgehog story is made-up, in whole or in part, because unlike me, other people can do amazing things with Photoshop. Less likely with the Dr. Fail thing, as I found multiple sources. Here's another one: http://www.thefails.org/

Which doesn't mean all the available information is completely truthful. After all, you can try to fact-check everything, make sure it has some grounding in reality. But often enough...

...you fail.