Sandy Supposes....

If They Can...

July 2oth Prompt: In 1969, Neil Armstrong first set foot on the moon. Afterward, people commonly complained, " If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they ____?" How would you finish that statement today?

         

         

         This statement reminds me of 'The Honeymooners' and Ralph Kramden's comment to his wife, " to the moon, Alice." I guess we almost always thought of the moon as a mysterious, far away place. But moon visitations? It's becoming more feasible.With that possibility in mind...

         I wish to know why they, they being the all mighty inventors and problem solvers extraordinaire, cannot invent a bandage that actually sticks to skin and is impervious to moisture. Come on, is this that difficult? Oh, and it must not remove hair either. It is a puzzle. Bandages are sticky enough to be used as permanent hair exfoliators, but they refuse to adhere to skin for more than a few minutes. I'm not in the habit of pressing them to my upper lip only to wrench them off in an effort to discourage the return of a moustache. The whole idea of a bandage is to swath a wound and nobody I know heals in the three brief minutes a bandage is in place. Why do they wrinkle and bunch, too? Is it too much to ask for a dependable first aid dressing?

         Oh, and since I'm whinging about bandaids, why can't their paper-sleeve packages be easier to open? Too many times, I've been squirting, sometimes pulsing my valuable blood as I've struggled to tear open the world's thinnest yet toughest paper wrapper. How is it untearable? It is terrible. Gripping a corner requires super human dexterity and strength not readily available to a wounded, bleeding victim. With desperate pulls and a combination of cursing and pleading, I've torn the trapped bandage in half with its paper cocoon still intact. What the...? If by some miraculous alignment of the stars, I've managed to coax a bandaid from its sheath and wrap it snugly around my mortal wound, why does it fail to remain where it is positioned? Adding extra layers does not impede the release.

         Okay, since I'm being encouraged to complain I have another 'why can't they.' Why can't they produce better quality driver's licence photos? Why do we resemble no one walking this earth? We do not look like ourselves. We are blurry. We are smudged. We could be anyone.This is our major form of identification?

         Satellites orbiting the earth can and do create sharper images. Cameras afixed to hair raising, stomach dropping, hurtling- to -imminent- death- and -destruction amusement park rides snap clear, sharp photos. The detail is amazing. Every goose bump is shown. The camera zeroes in our wild, tangled hair. Our bulging tearing eyes compliment our wide-mouthed screams and grimaces. Everyone can see our white- knuckled grip. The friend seated next to us with the blissful, face-splitting grin and both arms waving above their head is shown in stark contrast.

         We can be caught in a moment of terror, but we cannot be caught posing motionless? Granted we do fork out more of our hard earned money to gain access to an amusement park than we do for our drivers' licences. Perhaps we could arrange to have our driver pics shot as we speed past a pole- mounted camera. Oh wait, those are traffic cams and they can and do identify us.