The Horde

Saturday 7-18 emotions

I do my best to stay strong. It's not easy being alone raising my son with out help. It dose not help that he is in a mode of challeng the rules. To top that off I right now am not as strong as I had been for a found someone who I want to be with that is 300 miles away so I tend to get frustrated on little thing because they magnify the frustration of not being able to build a closer physical relationship. The one I want to be around I know respects what I can do. Wich is a great change from many I had been talking to that seam to only want trophy gals that are limited in what they can do.

With that said part of what I broke down over was the fact I half had to force my to join me in my make shift yard seating and cooking area. Well to call it make shift is real an insult to what I had created. 3 folding chairs spaced out with either a table or stool tray for drinks a table for food and then my small grilling table with grill. I loved how it came out because it looked like I had made a section in front of my windows my living room. With a grilling spot out in front. My son came out for a bit because I had banned him from being on electronics because he called me a lier about something I said even though he was a sleep. The sad part here is that I did not know he was asleep till later and I mean hours later. So yeah, oure frustration on my part. I think what was worse was the fact I recognized that he might not have heard me because he was sleeping and he flat out called me a lier.