Past, Present and Future

Conflict

“I used to believe...”
…that avoiding any form of conflict was the best course of action.

As I have got older, and maybe a little bit wiser, I have realized that conflict is something that must happen for us to resolve problems and hopefully come up with agreeable solutions.
You can be politeness personified, lead by example or the most agreeable person ever. You will still come across conflict in your day to day life. Some people just love the action and the drama.

Luckily, I don’t usually have major conflicts with my family and friends.

My work life is different; part of my job is to supervise a small team of work mates. Years ago, I would find any excuse not to deal with problems in work because I didn’t like conflict. Now I am comfortable with it because I know that if I don’t deal with it the problem won’t disappear on it own.

What I’ve learned is that it is how you deal with the problem is what will control the level of intensity of the conflict.
I prefer the calm, sit down and talk approach. It doesn’t always come up with the best answers but more often than not it resolves the problem.
The worst that can happen is that we agree to disagree. It didn’t solve the problem, but it reduced the growing conflict.

Screaming and shouting has never been my way of dealing with conflict. The only thing that comes out of that is entertainment for any bystanders.

Over the last two days I have had a calm, controlled conflict with a new roommate. It seems that he is incapable of opening and closing a door without making one ungodly racket.
In my younger days I wouldn’t have said anything and hoped that the problem would resolve itself. But the older and a little wiser me decided to talk with him about the problem. The talk was a resounding success. And he thanked me for bringing it to his attention!

A perfect result from calm, polite conflict.