The Definition of Insanity

Best Friend and Moonlight

PROMPT May 3rd
What do you do you relax and unwind in the evening? Paint us a picture of your ideal relaxation.

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Before I get into this I just want to say one thing. I see a lot of bloggers being positive about this whole thing (or life in general) and while commend them on this, I can’t do that. I can try, but it never ends up well in the long run. Call it God, fate, karma but being a positive person just doesn’t work for me.

Now for the prompt response. I would say I don’t really “unwind” at night. I don’t know how to. For the past seven or so months, I haven’t felt a lot of emotion. Sure, I get lonely or irritated, but for the most part it’s all in my head. I can’t tell if it’s something I’m feeling or if it’s just my flurry of thoughts. Over-thinking is a demon I have yet to master, and continuously likes to ruin my nights.

But my ideal relaxation I think would be hanging out with my writer best friend (read my first post, I talk about her specifically in more detail) and watching a movie or something together. We’ve never hung out and I’d love it to be able to spend some time with her, especially because she seems to make me laugh whenever we talk on the phone. She makes me feel...okay.

So when she’s struggling, I try to do the same, though I don’t think I can do much. After all, I don’t know what’s going on in her head; all I have is guesses and understanding. There are nights when we stay up and talk, and I guess those nights I’m relaxed? I don’t know. The other day she told me she loved me. She’s never said that to me before and I’ve thought about it a lot. I said I loved her back, and while I know she isn’t talking about romantic, or ack sexual feelings, it felt good to hear anyway.

However, I don’t think I know how to fall in love with someone, because saying “I love you” seems so easy to me. I get a strong bond with someone and once they say it, I usually end up saying it back. But I can’t ever tell if the words mean anything. I would say that with her and one other person, I think they might though. She means a lot to me. So yeah I guess a movie and hanging out with her would be my ideal way to relax.