Porthole

Rolling the dice.

30DBC: What does wisdom mean to you? Give an example.

I responded to bobturn: "I think wisdom can be present without 20/20 vision or hindsight. But having a clear grasp of the situation (experience helps) seems to be a component. When it's foggy (whether any decision is wise or not), wisdom may only be clear in retrospect."

Wise: Years ago, I went to a meeting. I knew these two guests were "off". Knew enough about the danger. Read between the lines. I left without making a scene, but shared my concerns with my friend Linda who listened, concurred and made a phone call. When it all came out in the wash I was right. Other friends were very upset but with all due respect ... they were naive. They didn't know. I did. Didn't make me 'better', just made me wiser for that moment.

Unwise: I take risks with people in order to connect. I'm needy. This isn't good. It clouds my judgment. Yes, I could give specifics, but shame, fear, and realizing that most people wouldn't understand ... means that I won't. I won't invite your criticism ... and there has been plenty over the years. Was it a lack of knowledge? Sometimes. But mostly it was a mix of denial and hope leading to poor judgment.

We shall see: I'm easily overwhelmed and I tend to over-think (when I'm thinking). At times I feel lost in a fog. I can't see the path in, out, around or through. Life doesn't always wait for the fog to lift. My trip to Spain is a prime example.

What I was dealing with:

1. Two trips planned with only 9 days respite. A 9 week trip planned (March-May). I was tired.
2. A new unexpected threat: the Wuhan coronavius.
3. Experience watching how Taiwan went from a friendly peaceful place to one on edge. While the Americans and Europeans were blissful in their ignorance I had to confront choices. One friend re-arrange flights at a personal loss; I chose to stay. Now ... in retrospect ... we were safer there than here.
4. But ... I needed to make decisions. I'd booked my flight to Spain without travel insurance. I tried to add it. I couldn't. Later the bank suggested that maybe it was a glitch. The glitch may have been activating a new charge card that deactivated my old one. I may never know for sure.
5. So ... No INSURANCE! Information on-line mentioned how an American getting sick in Europe could be charged thousands of dollars with no recourse. For those who don't know ... Medicare does not go abroad; there are no reciprocal health agreements. Spain, specifically, can be expensive and brutal in this regard.
6. I stay in hostels ... not safe in times of viral infections. Countries were quarantining ... at whose cost? Private room with private facilities are no guarantee to be low-risk but I started to check on-line. Not cheap but I could swing it. However, I was already out-of-time.
7. And in the US? I stay in an old hotel where we share toilets and baths. Not safe here either.
8. Will the US quarantine? No idea then, still none.
9. Can I get checked? NO! Only now have test-kits become available.
10. Can I get checked now? Maybe ... the numbers will soar. I suspect that presently there are 500-1000 positive cases overall, most undiagnosed. So there will be a backlog. Get in line.
11. Will it cost? Yep. They say Medicare will cover the test. But the hospital? Doubt it. Will there be a public place to get tested? Doubt it. New York is working on this, but Montana has a pay-as-you-go mentality. Don't have the money? Die. Just DIE.
12. Should I just go ... somewhere ... where there's a cheap private room ... not many in Costa Rica (although I know of one)! I looked; they are not to be found on-line. There are NONE here in Montana.
13. Should I go somewhere where it's safe? The only 'safe' places I know of are Taiwan and Singapore. You paying? I lost $700 by cancelling my non-refundable flights. No recourse.
14. Next flight? Travel insurance. Shorter trip. More flexibility. All this = more expensive.

Was I wise to cancel? Am I unwise to stay here? Would I be better off leaving? Would travel insurance even matter? I'm 'old' and not as healthy as 10 years ago. I suspect that when this is over the mortality rate will be about 1%, but among the elderly more like 5-10% and groups at risk? 20%. I'm guessing I'm at 2-3%. Roll the dice? I'm not a gambler. Only time will tell what is/was/will-be wise.

What would you do if it were your life?

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