We're all mad here.

Much Too Big

Alas your newest dish has just made you ‘too big’ - quick! List ten things you would be able to do while in this state and why you would do them.


1. Fingerpaint a picture on the ceiling. Probably something abstract because I don't know how big my fingers would be at this point so detail work seems overly optimistic. Because . . . does this one realy need a why? Because I wouldn't need a ladder.

2. Walk a four minute mile. Because I could and my legs would never be that long again.

3. Climb to the top of the Empire State building while holding my stuffed monkey. Because, wouldn't you? Helicoptors optional.

4. Climb down the Grand Canyon. Because having longer legs would mean it would take less steps.

5. Go to the library. Because it's time. I've finished my books. And I might have a new perspective on that top shelf that I used to need to tippy-toe it to see properly.

6. Dust the tops of the shelves. Because I'm compulsive that way.

7. Read Gulliver's Travels again. Because I might get a new insight.

8. Climb to the top of a mountain and sing. If there's an echo, harmonize with myself. Because Mary Poppins can do it.

9. Turn around and around and around until I get dizzy and fall down. Because that crash should be awesome.

10. Go to the beach. Build a sand castle. A big one. With complicated. Then lie down in front of it like a giant sea wall and laugh when the waves wash over me and destroy it. Because there's always something bigger.