The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)

Mental Kudzu

Previously: "How to Replace a Stepfather" 

Chapter by rugal b.

"You... you want to," you stutter in shock as you look at her, "to share your... your stuff?"

"Everything, Will," she says with breathy, barely contained excitement. "There's so much amazing stuff that my dad knew; that I'm learning about. I'd love to learn about it together."

"With me?" you ask dumbfounded.

"Of course! Especially once you--" she cuts herself off and leans forward, inches from your face. "Once you help me get revenge on that son of a bitch the world'll be our oyster. Think about it, Will! Imagine it!"

You can scarcely do so. You and Sydney, together, exploring the occult. Learning of strange rituals and symbols, saying strange chants. Summoning, you gulp, demons like Baphomet. Is that what you would be doing? It's frightening... no, frightening is too minor a word for it. It's paralyzing. You've had fun with the book, you've liked sharing its secrets with this girl and having her interested in you because of it. But that's what it's all been right? Just harmless -- well mostly harmless -- fun. This, what she's proposing, is on another level entirely.

"What's wrong?" Sydney says and you realize that, unconsciously, you've pulled back and pulled your hand away.

"Oh, nothing. It's just..."

But it's not "nothing". No it's a very real something and you feel as if it's best to be honest about it.

"Sydney, don't you think that's going a little too far?" you ask.

"Too far?" she asks, her face showing a confused expression like she's unable to really understand what you just said.

"The ley lines and, you know, whatnot it's all well and good," you start. "But this whole Baphomet thing is just... it's out there. Doesn't it seem a bit, I don't know, wrong?"

"Should it?"

"I don't kn--no, I do know. Yes! It should!" you exclaim. "You're saying that we should make a bunch of these things, control people into making some devil worshiping cult! What seems right about that?!"

Sydney regards you coolly for a few seconds before she speaks. "Are you a Christian, Will?" she finally asks.

"What?" you reply dumbly. "I mean, yeah, sure. I go to church on Sundays."

"How serious are you? Is the idea of demons and the occult just, like, complete anathema to you?"

"Not to that extent," you admit. "But the morality of the whole thing just seems so... off."

"Will, you're going to help me kill that bastard Nicholas and you're worried about morality?" she asks.

"But we're not killing him!" you insist. "We're just... I don't really know what we're doing but it's not the same as just murdering him."

"Will, we're killing him," she says sternly. "No matter what happens the end result is, for all practical purposes, the same. Nicholas Lawhorn will be dead and it'll be our fingers that pulled the trigger."

In a way she's definitely got you but you've now started to entrench yourself in your opposition and you don't want to give in. "Yeah but he already killed your father. He's a murderer. Taking care of a murderer isn't the same thing as just creating a cult."

"Killing is killing. And it's not a cult, Will, it's a brotherhood," she says though she follows it up with a sigh. "But I can guess you're not really going to be swayed by an argument like that are you?"

"I know that means a lot to you," you say, "maybe because it's like you're continuing your father's work or something? I don't know. But we're just kids and it's like we're operating on a level far beyond our understanding. Messing with things, maybe creatures, that we shouldn't be touching to do things that we shouldn't be doing. I just can't get over that hurdle, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," she says as she clasps your hands once more. "It's a lot to take in all at once but just don't dismiss it all out of hand. Think about it a little bit, look over the notebooks and see if you change your mind?"

You realize that this might be the most leeway you'll get with her about this topic so you decide to take what you can get. "Sure, give me a day or two and I'll see how I feel," you tell her. Much as she's undoubtedly hoping you change your mind you're hoping that the little break will prove to be a wet blanket for her own enthusiasm. "What about your stepdad?" you ask.

"Don't call him that," she snaps, "But yeah I might have been coming on too strong because of everything so we'll do it when you're ready since it's your book. I really want to do it as soon as possible but I guess taking it one step at a time can't hurt either."

She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and then she's off, back to her home. You linger for a few minutes pondering the evening's events before you too head home.

* * * * *

Even once you're home and eating dinner and doing homework you can't take your mind off of what's happened up to this point or what Sydney's proposed. You want to help her, really you do. She's been through so much and she deserves to give a little payback against a man who deserves to receive a little payback.

Right?

Nicholas Lawhorn killed Sydney's father to steal his spot in the Brotherhood, to steal his family, to steal what he had in his possession... didn't he?

A funny thought begins to worm its way into your head as you're finishing up the (creepy) notebooks: you never actually put on Nicholas' memory strip yourself. Sydney told you that she used it on him and through it all of her suspicions were confirmed. That was awesome, you'd thought, and convenient that it went off without a hitch.

Maybe a little too convenient.

Because it's funny that she was able to do everything needed with no issue and separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were, with no issue. That's what she did right? She would've had to have put the band on herself afterwards. She seemed to have trouble recalling anything from Caleb's mind you now remember so it's convenient, then, that whatever issues she had with that she managed to get over fairly quickly with her stepfather's memory strip.

A strip that she never actually showed you. You never saw it. She never handed it to you. Did she forget it was in her bag? Did she leave it at home? Was she actually wearing it the entire time you were talking to her?

Did she actually use it at all?

You don't want to think the worst of Sydney, really you don't. But the root has implanted itself into your brain and throughout the night and school the next day it grows like a vine. It fails to abate itself when you see Keith. It only gets stronger when Caleb refuses to talk to you and you pretty sure you know why. It fails to be soothed when you talk with Braydon Delp and his tabletop gaming buddies at lunch to try and get a read on this Baphomet character and receive nothing more than snobbish jeering from the preening goth.

It's a tension that reaches a boiling point when you receive a text from Sydney after school.

Have you made up your mind? she asks. When you don't immediately respond she follows it up. Hello?

i might have, you text back. can we meet up at the place?

Ooh sure! When?

i need to get things in order, you send her. i'll head over and do that and text when i'm done. we can talk then.

Okay! I'll make time then. See you when I see you!

Immediately you race over to the basement and make sure everything is in order. The masks and bands and other things you've made, the graveyard dirt. You pull the book out of your backpack and set it down on an unused desk. From your backpack you also pull out a pair of scissors -- something you've had in your locker -- and snip off a bit of hair. The fuel is there and so are the matches.

Everything you need for the spell is right here which is good because you're going to use Sydney for it. You don't want to because you like Sydney very much and you like that she seems to like you. But as those thoughts continued to get stronger you began to have doubts.

What if she was lying about Nicholas and using the band? What if she's merely using you to further her own goals, whatever they may be? Controlling this Brotherhood of Baphomet for herself perhaps?

You don't want to think that way about her. You want to believe that you're being too paranoid. That Sydney is being up front and honest with you and holds no motives save the ones she's revealed to you. That way you're working on the book together with her, helping her get revenge against murderer... even having your own secret group to control sounds tempting and a little fun you hate to admit.

Maybe you should take her at her word then. Just stomp those paranoid thoughts down and continue on as normal with what she'd suggested. But you can't give her that much leeway right? You can go along with her sure but you can do it cautiously, make sure everything's done one step at a time like she'd said yesterday. That way you're a little more in control and if things suddenly go from in control to out of control then you can act in whatever would be the most appropriate way.

Yet despite all of that, despite what you may want, the idea is becoming harder and harder to suppress. With her interest in the occult, in the Brotherhood, with the casualness she approaches the potential murder of her stepfather you're struck by a very heavy feeling deep in the pit of your stomach. Sydney has told you that her stepfather is a very dangerous man and that may be the case. But whatever danger he may pose, you can't help but feel that the biggest danger of all may come not from Nicholas Lawhorn but from Sydney McGlynn.

Next: "The Real Danger" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 3)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 3)"