Dash Dash Dot Dot

The beginning

Willow stirred, not wanting to open her eyes, the bright light streaming through the window showed red through her eyelids. The soft beeping sounds greeted her ears and her nostrils stung from the antiseptic in the air. She remembered she was in the hospital; the doctors had to sedate her the night before because she was having a panic attack. Memories of the car accident flashed through her mind, tears formed and seeped out her closed eyes. Her sister, Katie, hadn’t been so lucky, taking the brunt of the accident. The truck that had hit them slammed into the driver’s side where her sister had been sitting. It had effectively crushed her sister’s small vehicle, Katie was pinned to her seat, her steering wheel was pressed into her chest and the door had folded over her leg, glass was lodged in her face and neck.

Willow rolled over and sobbed quietly to herself, she still hadn’t opened her eyes. She thought that if she kept them closed then she didn’t have to face the reality of the situation. But she heard movement in the room. A warm hand closed over hers, making her realize how cold she was and she shivered. The owner of the warm hand gently pressed what felt like a handful of tissues into her other hand.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you’re awake if you just need some time.” The soft voice and warm hands belonged to her sister’s best friend, Damian. “I’m so sorry Will.” She heard his voice tremble and he gave her hand a squeeze. Willow finally opened her eyes and looked at him, he was Katie’s best friend but he had been like a brother to her, the one that would be a mediator between Katie and herself when the sisters were fighting. She looked at her friend; she could see he had been crying too. His eyes were red and puffy. “The doctors told us what happened. Your parents will be here midmorning. Kira and James can’t get here until after they finish work tonight." Willow nodded.

"Thank you," She croaked. Her throat felt so dry. Damian reached over to the table and picked up a cup, he held the straw to her lips. Willow smiled and drank. "Thank you. Damian, thank you so much for being here. I... I'm, why me?" Tears soaked her pillow

"Don't, don’t you dare think like that." Damian was now crying too. "It was an accident; no one could have predicted the damage to the vehicle and what happened to Katie. And you know Katie would be saying the same thing, she was your big sister." Willow nodded, clutching Damian's hands. He leant across and hugged her. "I will be here whenever you need me."

"Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling?" A voice behind Willow spoke. Willow rolled over and looked at the owner of the voice. A nurse stood in the doorway, offering a small smile when she saw Willow's tear stained cheeks. She moved closer checking the IV bag attached to Willow's arm. "You suffered from a mild concussion, whiplash, minor cuts and bruises. You were very lucky considering the state of the vehicle." She avoided the subject of Katie. "A doctor should be along shortly to discuss everything with you." The nurse lingered for a moment longer and then left the room.

***

"How could I have such little damage compared to Katie?" Willow asked the doctor standing at the foot of her bed, Damian squeezed her hand gently. It had been an hour since the nurse had come in to see her.

"Well as the passenger you were more relaxed, we suspect that your sister saw what was about to happen before impact and tensed up, and the truck hit the driver's side of the vehicle where your sister was sitting." The doctor explained, he was being patient. Willow knew all of this already but she needed to hear it from someone else for it to sink in. "Our paramedics did everything they could to try to save your sister but she had lost too much blood from her injuries. If she had stabilized there is a high chance that she would have lost her right leg, been paralyzed or both. I'm sorry Willow, we did everything we could."

"It's not fair." Willow whispered, more to herself than anyone else in the room. Damian moved to sit on the bed next to her and pulled her close for a hug. "Why did she have to die?" Willow burst into tears again, burying her face into Damian's shoulder.

The doctor shifted from one foot to the other. "We are going to keep you for one more night for observation. I'm also going to recommend that you see a psychiatrist for survivor’s guilt and PTSD." He looked at Damian who nodded and the doctor left the room.

"We will get through this Will; you just need to talk to someone. And if you need me at any point for anything you need to ring me. I don't care if it's three am in the morning, you ring me and I will be there. Besides, Katie would never forgive me if I didn't help look after her baby sister, our baby sister." He said quietly. Willow smiled through her tears and nodded. She knew he was right. "Your parents should be here soon, so I'll let you guys have some alone time and go home and shower. I got the call while I was at the gym, so I'm sorry that you've had to put up with my sweaty, stinky ass."

Willow shook her head. "I didn't even notice the difference." Damian feigned shock, dramatically folded his arms across his chest and pouted his lips. Willow gave a soft chuckle. "Of course I'm kidding, but you know Katie would never forgive me if I hadn't said it." Damian nodded and laughed, giving Willow another hug.

"You are very right lil' sis." Damian used the term Katie always did. "Now, let me go and get us something to eat, the cafeteria has hot chips and gravy." As if on cue Willow's stomach gave a growl in response. "I'll take that as a yes. Back in five." Damian left the room.

***

Willow woke to soft voices; she had drifted off after sharing the hot chips and gravy with Damian. She looked around the room. Her mom sat on the bed beside her and her dad sat in the chair that Damian had been in. "Mom. Dad." Willow said quietly. Her parents hugged her. Willow could see that both of them had been crying, her mom started again when she hugged her.

"Willow! Oh my baby, I'm so sorry." Her mom wept. Her dad stood in front of them both with a hand on each of their shoulders. "When we got the call, I thought-" she struggled to finish the sentence. "I thought we'd lost both of you." Willow realized that she was not the only one wracked with guilt. Her parents had the guilt of relief that one of their children had survived the accident. The three of them cried until tears would no longer come.

"Your mother and I are going to stay for as long as we can. We'll stay at Katie's place to feed and look after her cat. We can take Kransky home with us if you or Damian can't take her." Willow's dad said after wiping his face with his handkerchief. He didn't like to cry in front of his children and so he tried to focus on what needed to be done. Willow nodded, she was thankful for the distraction from crying. She was exhausted from the tears.

"I will talk to my landlord and see what he says. But his stance on pets is not great so I don't really know what he will say. And I don't want Kransky to go to some random." Willow said, her dad nodded. He always claimed he was not a cat person, but given the circumstances he may be forced to be one. And her sister told her that whenever their parents visited her Kransky would not leave him alone. The cat loved him, and, Katie said, he secretly loved her too. Part of her knew that her dad didn't want her landlord to say yes. Under his hard exterior he was a big softy, especially when it came to animals.

"And, when you're feeling up to it, you will need to come and go through your sisters things. Keep what you want and then we'll donate everything else." Her dad continued, she could see he was trying so hard not to cry again. "If you and Damian want to contact her other friends and ask if they want anything, your mother and I don't have everyone's contact info." His voice wavered and he stopped talking. Her mother grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"Honey, we don't need to talk about this right now. I think we need to let Willow rest, she has been through some serious trauma." Her mom said looking at her daughter. Willow was lying back on the bed, her eyelids felt heavy but she shook her head.

"Please don't leave, not yet." Willow begged them. "I don’t want to be alone right now. Please stay until Kira and James get here." Her mother nodded and stood, she pulled the blankets up to Willow's chin.

"Okay, but you need to rest, we'll stay." Her mom slid the chair closer to the bed and leant on it, stroking Willow's face gently. "Close your eyes and try to sleep. We're right here with you."